Unfiltered Friends

Living with Autism w/ TheSpectrumGirl

• Chris Thompson • Episode 32

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[Supdaily]:

like I'm having an

[Charlotte]:

blaming

[Supdaily]:

issue

[Charlotte]:

it on the

[Supdaily]:

with

[Charlotte]:

foreigners

[Supdaily]:

your video

[Charlotte]:

and I'm the foreigner.

[Supdaily]:

oh wait hold on That's I, my ancestors actually Norwegian.

[Charlotte]:

Oh.

[Supdaily]:

I went to Oslo and then I took instead of flying, I took the train across to Bergen and I loved Bergen. I

[Charlotte]:

Bergen.

[Supdaily]:

thought it was beautiful.

[Charlotte]:

Wow.

[Supdaily]:

Bergen.

[Charlotte]:

Bergen. Yeah. BÄGÄN

[Supdaily]:

Yeah. Bergen.

[Charlotte]:

as they say in Bergen. With a

[Supdaily]:

Berrigan.

[Charlotte]:

scarring. Like... BÄGÄN.

[Supdaily]:

RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

[Charlotte]:

BÄGÄN. They have the R's like that.

[Supdaily]:

Okay.

[Charlotte]:

So weird.

[Supdaily]:

Are you able to shift your

[Charlotte]:

Oh

[Supdaily]:

camera

[Charlotte]:

yeah,

[Supdaily]:

so

[Charlotte]:

I'm

[Supdaily]:

that

[Charlotte]:

so...

[Supdaily]:

you're more centered?

[Charlotte]:

Oh gosh, I'm gonna... Because I'm sitting

[Supdaily]:

No,

[Charlotte]:

sideways,

[Supdaily]:

no, we're going to get there.

[Charlotte]:

so that's why I'm... I'm gonna just try and... Oh god, that was almost a coke can again! Oh! Oh

[Supdaily]:

Hahaha!

[Charlotte]:

god damn it! Oh! I...

[Supdaily]:

We're

[Charlotte]:

I'm done!

[Supdaily]:

gonna get there. I believe in us.

[Charlotte]:

This is the most clumsy, I swear, I'm not usually like this. I had an interview earlier today and it went so smooth that I couldn't believe it. And I was like, so obviously it had to be unsmooth.

[Supdaily]:

Yeah, you got to create balance.

[Charlotte]:

It was like, oh my god, it was so efficient. Everything went so well. Oh my god. I was thinking. But then, yeah.

[Supdaily]:

And then here comes Riverside.

[Charlotte]:

Yeah.

[Supdaily]:

Okay, are you ready?

[Charlotte]:

Yeah.

[Supdaily]:

As ready as you will be. Okay, so I'm gonna do a quick introduction and then I'll address you. Okay, you ready?

[Charlotte]:

Oh god.

[Supdaily]:

Hello, unfiltered friends. Today I have on Charlotte, otherwise known as the Spectrum Girl. She talks a lot about, it seems like both autism and ADHD. Does that feel accurate

[Charlotte]:

Yes,

[Supdaily]:

to you?

[Charlotte]:

that feels accurate and it is accurate. Yeah.

[Supdaily]:

So how often I'm starting to see this more, I see it listed on people's pages every so often where is this RDHD,

[Charlotte]:

Yes.

[Supdaily]:

it's AUDHD. Is that like the terminology that you would use if you have both?

[Charlotte]:

That's right. ODHD is like this new fancy buzzword terminology for autistic and ADHD. So it sounds French almost. ODHD. Like,

[Supdaily]:

Yeah,

[Charlotte]:

yeah.

[Supdaily]:

all DHT. We're trying to make it fancy.

[Charlotte]:

Yes.

[Supdaily]:

Get diagnosis

[Charlotte]:

I

[Supdaily]:

and

[Charlotte]:

got

[Supdaily]:

make

[Charlotte]:

the

[Supdaily]:

it

[Charlotte]:

fancy

[Supdaily]:

fancy.

[Charlotte]:

ODHD. Yeah.

[Supdaily]:

Yeah, so you are originally from

[Charlotte]:

Yes.

[Supdaily]:

Norway, but you're not in Norway currently. Do you just travel a lot or?

[Charlotte]:

Well, no, I just don't fit in in my own homeland, I guess, and I'm on the run constantly.

[Supdaily]:

Okay,

[Charlotte]:

Yes.

[Supdaily]:

you're on the run. Can you explain what you mean by that? Why you feel like you don't fit in in Norway?

[Charlotte]:

Yeah, I guess every country mostly and people who live in their country have some things to object to of their own country men and women and non-binary people. But the thing is that I have a different type of personality that does not really go so smoothly with the average Norwegian person and Norwegian ways, Norwegian customs, Norwegian socializing, social codes. Norwegian way. I'm just not very Norwegian actually and I am super like Norwegian. I was born in

[Supdaily]:

Yes,

[Charlotte]:

Yeah,

[Supdaily]:

we can hear it.

[Charlotte]:

in the Arctic. I was born in North Norway above the Arctic Circle. I'm like super like very cold Norway, Norwegian, icy snowy all that. But no,

[Supdaily]:

Yeah.

[Charlotte]:

I'm on the run. I just can't, they're narrow mindedness of the,

[Supdaily]:

Mmm.

[Charlotte]:

of Norwegians. They are of course. lovely if you get to know them, many of them. Obviously I'm not going to sit here and say, oh Norwegians are awful. No, but I just feel like it's very hard to connect to people in Norway when I'm speaking Norwegian to other Norwegian people. And the way that what I'm conveying is not being perceived in the way that I intended to be. And now I understand why.

[Supdaily]:

Mm-hmm.

[Charlotte]:

And that's because I think differently because I'm autistic and ADHD, but mostly because I'm autistic and the way that I just react and think to. think about things and things that just come out of my

[Supdaily]:

Yeah.

[Charlotte]:

mouth. It's just stuff that doesn't go sit well with many Norwegian people. Like the culture, that's the word I was looking for. The Norwegian

[Supdaily]:

Mm-hmm.

[Charlotte]:

culture is a bit reserved when it comes to connecting and making friendships and it's... actually not so different from American.

[Supdaily]:

Yeah, I would. I would. Yeah, I think we don't take like, we take maybe like physical sickness, like more seriously than we do any one who has maybe just a different way of showing

[Charlotte]:

Mmm.

[Supdaily]:

up in the world. Do you think that maybe because you grew up in an area that was more close minded, that's why you got your diagnosis much later in life? Because you got diagnosed at 38 is

[Charlotte]:

Yeah,

[Supdaily]:

my understanding.

[Charlotte]:

I got... But first I had been on sick leave for about a year or two, I think it was. No, it's... Yeah, sick...

[Supdaily]:

Sick leave?

[Charlotte]:

Well, in

[Supdaily]:

For

[Charlotte]:

Norway

[Supdaily]:

what?

[Charlotte]:

when you get sick... If you have been in like... Employment, like steady employment... What is that called? Yeah, like when you have like a... Yeah, that is

[Supdaily]:

A job?

[Charlotte]:

like... permanent permanent job

[Supdaily]:

Okay.

[Charlotte]:

if you've been in a job for more than what I think six months or a year if you get sick you then have in Norway have a right to be on a full year sick leave with full pay yeah so

[Supdaily]:

What? I've

[Charlotte]:

Yeah,

[Supdaily]:

never

[Charlotte]:

but that's

[Supdaily]:

heard of that.

[Charlotte]:

how it is in Norway. Like, I think it's like that in Sweden and Denmark as well. Actually in France too, maybe.

[Supdaily]:

Yeah.

[Charlotte]:

But yeah, we also have this thing with one year full paid maternity leave and for... Yeah, but still that's a digression. But so I had to actually use my year because I got so ill. and then after that year was up to continue to have some income at all you start kind of if you still too sick to go back into normal work life which I was like very mentally ill and with the CPTSD which I had gotten from being bullied at my workplace, but bullied my entire life up until adulthood and I was in an abusive relationship and then everything just exploded and crumbled and that's when I went to my GP and said Trigger warning. I'm going to kill myself if I go back to work. I'm gonna kill myself and then

[Supdaily]:

Mm-hmm.

[Charlotte]:

And then my doctor said, well then, we will not send you back to work. I'm like,

[Supdaily]:

Mm-hmm.

[Charlotte]:

sure, sure.

[Supdaily]:

Yeah.

[Charlotte]:

I did not care at all. So then, then they put me on sick leave for that one year. But then after that year was up, what do you do then? You start some sort of disability in kind of, but it wasn't that. It's like some sort of work waiting money. That's what it's called in Norway. You can also have that. It's called waiting money. Waiting. Yeah, like

[Supdaily]:

waiting

[Charlotte]:

waiting

[Supdaily]:

money?

[Charlotte]:

for a job because you're sick money. Yeah.

[Supdaily]:

So like unemployment

[Charlotte]:

Yeah, it's

[Supdaily]:

here.

[Charlotte]:

unemployment, yes, but because you have to be a bit careful about what kind of job you take. You can't just hop into just any job, so

[Supdaily]:

Mmm.

[Charlotte]:

you still get quite a good income, but it goes a bit lower when you are on full disability. That's when your income kind of slopes more down. So.

[Supdaily]:

So what point did you get your diagnosis?

[Charlotte]:

That was after the waiting for job money year

[Supdaily]:

Uh-huh. Hahahaha.

[Charlotte]:

when I got on full disability, which I am now, which I've been for, I think, two years. Yeah, the year I got diagnosed when I was 38. Oh man, I think it's been four years. Oh yeah, it's been four years since my... Yeah, so I was 37 when I got burned out

[Supdaily]:

Mm-hmm.

[Charlotte]:

and completely crushed.

[Supdaily]:

So how did that diagnosis

[Charlotte]:

Whoa.

[Supdaily]:

help you? Like how did it help you like understand maybe your experiences that you've had for the first 37 years that you were on earth?

[Charlotte]:

It has some. made me accept that... well that sounds cliche. I would rather say that it's helping me to heal obviously, it's helping me

[Supdaily]:

Mm-hmm.

[Charlotte]:

to not hate myself. I mean I can't say I love myself magically, but that part about hating yourself so much is the reason why a lot of people get so depressed that they don't see any other way than out any other way you know than unaliving themselves so so

[Supdaily]:

Mm-hmm.

[Charlotte]:

when you kind of stop hating yourself so much you know because I so that's what it did to me it's it gave me permission kind of or a clear message that said do not... there's like... they had it wrong. You're not this evil, horrible person. You're actually autistic and you think differently, therefore you say things differently. Therefore all these people

[Supdaily]:

Mm-hmm.

[Charlotte]:

have misunderstood me. the way that I felt that they misunderstood me my entire life because that's what I felt like everybody keeps misunderstanding me and it made me feel like I'm in a Twilight Zone I feel like this isn't real like most of my life I felt like what's happening this is surreal why do people not understand what I'm saying I'm trying to be nice yet their answer is how can you say that that's so rude Can you imagine how frustrating that is when you're actually just doing something that you genuinely thought was a nice thing and then for it to go around and be the complete opposite of what you thought was going to happen?

[Supdaily]:

Can you

[Charlotte]:

Hmm.

[Supdaily]:

give me an example of a time where

[Charlotte]:

Ah,

[Supdaily]:

that happened?

[Charlotte]:

so many. Where to choose, like... For example, I'm thinking about things that actually are kind of mean. So I shouldn't probably say that. That's my directness to my mom.

[Supdaily]:

Do you think maybe that's an aspect of it? Is this like, you're really direct and some people use a lot of like nuance that maybe you don't possess yourself?

[Charlotte]:

Ah Yes, but actually I think that I can only speak for myself as an autistic person. There's a lot of different personalities and communications, ways to communicate among autistic people. But I have lots of nuance, maybe too much nuance. That's the problem. So sometimes it gets lost in

[Supdaily]:

Oh.

[Charlotte]:

interpretation and lost in... translation like I'm still trying to explain something and then people have already made up their mind and like God you're so rude and I'm like but it's like I'm only like like a quarter finished I mean like I just opened with saying oh that hair color is really not your

[Supdaily]:

Hmm.

[Charlotte]:

like that's not your color because and then That's what they hear and then they finished. But hey, there's like something so interesting here. Like for example, like are you winter? Are you spring? Are you summer? Are you like, what are you? You have some shades and have you seen how incredible how your eyes pop when you wear this color? You see, I start kind of like backwards and then I just open

[Supdaily]:

Yeah.

[Charlotte]:

with something that Well, obviously, I understand how that can hurt someone. Like if that's their favorite color, they may have like emotional connections to a color and then I come and I say this and like, who do you think you are if I don't really know them? And so I do understand, I have, I do understand that. So I'm actually also, my diagnosis has also taught me to be that it's okay. to be self-critical and look at myself, like, what am I doing that actually hurts people and to actually learn to take accountability and not feel like I'm a big evil person. Like, it's okay because I'm still learning. I know my intentions are good. Like, my intentions are...

[Supdaily]:

That's, I

[Charlotte]:

Yeah.

[Supdaily]:

think that's a great thing though. I think if more people took

[Charlotte]:

Hmm.

[Supdaily]:

accountability for themselves, it's an aspect

[Charlotte]:

Yeah.

[Supdaily]:

of growth, but a lot of people, and you've probably learned this in a lot of your interactions, don't wanna do that part. They just wanna be validated, but they don't want to

[Charlotte]:

Yeah.

[Supdaily]:

be self-critical. And I think it's honestly just a sign

[Charlotte]:

Yeah.

[Supdaily]:

of intelligence.

[Charlotte]:

But I... I... Okay, now I'm like, I love to be self-critical. I love it. Yeah, I'm so sub...

[Supdaily]:

But don't you have to find a balance though so you're not like so

[Charlotte]:

Yeah,

[Supdaily]:

self-critical that

[Charlotte]:

that's

[Supdaily]:

like you

[Charlotte]:

the

[Supdaily]:

harm

[Charlotte]:

thing.

[Supdaily]:

yourself?

[Charlotte]:

I... It became so... interesting to be self-critical from a not hate myself perspective but from a very

[Supdaily]:

Mm-hmm.

[Charlotte]:

interesting perspective of digging and digging like why do I say this how did that make you feel does that sound rude can I say it is that okay like I've been I've been so become so analytical now that like my mom is like oh can you just like say the rude stuff that you used to say I'm fine with it no but it's not okay if i say those things actually then she's like oh please come on i'm used to it i'm like yeah but you should not be used to it and i have to

[Supdaily]:

It's just how you communicate

[Charlotte]:

yeah

[Supdaily]:

though, like, I, my friends know that if they come to me for advice on something, they're going to hear the unadulterated

[Charlotte]:

I'm gonna go to bed.

[Supdaily]:

truth. And if they don't want that, then they don't come to me. So with you, I feel like you should be more so the flower instead of the bee you attract instead of try to figure out where you should end up. Does that make sense?

[Charlotte]:

flower instead of the bee attract...

[Supdaily]:

Yes, because the flower is fragrant and just attracts the bee, but the bee is flying around trying to find. So it's essentially you are, it sounds like you have aspects of you that are trying to find how you can fit in instead of just being who you are and attracting the people who see you for who you are.

[Charlotte]:

Yeah,

[Supdaily]:

Does that feel

[Charlotte]:

I

[Supdaily]:

accurate?

[Charlotte]:

just, I'm so visual that all I could see was like a swarm of bees and flowers

[Supdaily]:

Yeah

[Charlotte]:

and...

[Supdaily]:

Is that so

[Charlotte]:

Yeah, but...

[Supdaily]:

when

[Charlotte]:

Yeah.

[Supdaily]:

when it comes to using analogy like that, is that what happens is like your brain just gets really vicious.

[Charlotte]:

Yes!

[Supdaily]:

Now there's a swarm of bees. I was just talking about one one flower one bee and now you have a field of flowers

[Charlotte]:

Yes,

[Supdaily]:

in a swarm of bees.

[Charlotte]:

yes, it's like a whole swarm of these because you did this also with your finger like so I was like I can like

[Supdaily]:

That's

[Charlotte]:

see

[Supdaily]:

so interesting.

[Charlotte]:

the like they have a figure of

[Supdaily]:

So

[Charlotte]:

speech

[Supdaily]:

when people

[Charlotte]:

as well

[Supdaily]:

like,

[Charlotte]:

is

[Supdaily]:

so I mean, you talk about how you like think of things

[Charlotte]:

Yeah.

[Supdaily]:

differently, like is that an aspect of when people talk to you is like your brain just goes, like what

[Charlotte]:

Oh.

[Supdaily]:

does your brain do when I say things like that? Like how is it different for you than someone who's neurotypical?

[Charlotte]:

I think it can be a bit exhausting to... Yeah.

[Supdaily]:

I can imagine, especially with the whole swarm

[Charlotte]:

Yeah,

[Supdaily]:

of bees now.

[Charlotte]:

yes.

[Supdaily]:

That's terrifying.

[Charlotte]:

Many ADHDers, they say like they have bees in their brain. I've never actually understood that because how can you have bees in your brain? I think I take it very literally but I do...

[Supdaily]:

Yeah.

[Charlotte]:

I just see what's kind of outside, you know, like just like all the things are just like very like... like coming in my ear like a noise or a

[Supdaily]:

Yeah.

[Charlotte]:

stinging light or awful smell or a really bitter taste or something and just like lots and lots of impressions, overstimulation. It's just like... like disco lights like yeah kind of like that

[Supdaily]:

So like sensory, it seems like there's like a lot, it's like really intense and a lot

[Charlotte]:

Yeah.

[Supdaily]:

to deal with. So you're trying to like, would this be considered what you would call masking where you're trying to like stay with that

[Charlotte]:

Yes.

[Supdaily]:

person but your brain is going

[Charlotte]:

Yes!

[Supdaily]:

a bunch of different

[Charlotte]:

So

[Supdaily]:

directions?

[Charlotte]:

that's extremely exhausting. So because

[Supdaily]:

Yeah.

[Charlotte]:

also like getting intrusive thoughts like so many intrusive thoughts like have trying to have a serious conversation with someone and then I get hung up on like a hair follicle on the side

[Supdaily]:

Mm-hmm.

[Charlotte]:

of their face or something. No,

[Supdaily]:

like

[Charlotte]:

I can't

[Supdaily]:

me right

[Charlotte]:

really

[Supdaily]:

now.

[Charlotte]:

see your face in detail. It is so pixelated.

[Supdaily]:

Okay, I know I know

[Charlotte]:

But there's like, yeah, like that. And then I can start wilder pouring their soul. And then I'm like, why am I like, can I not like to stop constant like, or.

[Supdaily]:

So

[Charlotte]:

start thinking

[Supdaily]:

can I

[Charlotte]:

about

[Supdaily]:

make a

[Charlotte]:

the

[Supdaily]:

suggestion?

[Charlotte]:

shopping list or... Yeah.

[Supdaily]:

Yeah, when you're doing that during this interview, if you want to vocalize it, this is

[Charlotte]:

No.

[Supdaily]:

a safe space to do that. So if you have something going like, hey, this is where my brain is going.

[Charlotte]:

Yeah.

[Supdaily]:

This is how I learn about how best to show up for you during this interview. So you're free and it's judgment free. If you need to go somewhere else, I'm totally here to listen to that as well, because we're here to learn. I want to really dispel

[Charlotte]:

Mmm.

[Supdaily]:

a lot of things. or have people understand a lot of things about autism, which seems to be a passion for you. What made you... So that being said, if you have something going on, just tell me. If you interrupt

[Charlotte]:

Okay,

[Supdaily]:

me, that's

[Charlotte]:

thank

[Supdaily]:

okay,

[Charlotte]:

you.

[Supdaily]:

too. Does

[Charlotte]:

Yeah,

[Supdaily]:

that help you

[Charlotte]:

I feel

[Supdaily]:

when I say that?

[Charlotte]:

safe. It's nice.

[Supdaily]:

Good,

[Charlotte]:

I'm not used to

[Supdaily]:

good.

[Charlotte]:

that. So that's really lovely. Yeah.

[Supdaily]:

So what made it important for you to share as much as you do on social media about autism?

[Charlotte]:

I was really angry for a while after being on sick leave and waiting for money or whatever and then getting on disability and when I got my diagnosis I was just so hurt and angry because I had been very very very very depressed. Everything was so dark for so long and I had no spark of life because I wanted to just give up because everybody told me I was a horrible person for so long so I just wanted to give up but what did you ask?

[Supdaily]:

We're tough. Hold on, I'm having a moment now too. Wait, what did I ask? Why was it

[Charlotte]:

Yes,

[Supdaily]:

important for you

[Charlotte]:

because

[Supdaily]:

to share

[Charlotte]:

I was angry

[Supdaily]:

about your autism?

[Charlotte]:

after all of that and I got angry and I wanted to kind of I wanted to Reveal How like people are thinking about people like me and how they are kind of You know, like superheroes and vigilantes, people they really love them and their quirks and all of that. only when they are in their costume or mask, you know? But the thing is, okay, no, I'm

[Supdaily]:

Hmm

[Charlotte]:

not trying to say that I'm a superhero or anything. That's,

[Supdaily]:

You're a superhero.

[Charlotte]:

no,

[Supdaily]:

We're gonna say that for the rest

[Charlotte]:

that's

[Supdaily]:

of us.

[Charlotte]:

like so self-absorbed of me to do that kind of like comparison, like superheroes and vigilantes. Like, no, I mean, but they... Okay, so our funny, weird, strange people get always in movies and series get always.. what is the word in English? Celebrated for these things and people laugh in the audience and like, ahaha, that's so funny, ahaha, that's so cool. But those things are the things that people used to bully me over. And like... really like I got in so much trouble and when I watch these things on the movie screen and that's like my hobby is actually like watching lots of series and movies and stuff that's like one my main hobby in life like so I because there's so much to relate to but so I just was angry because I was thinking how opposite everything is how like everything is like just topsy-turvy like it's everything is like a twilight zone and and i'm like okay so now i

[Supdaily]:

Mm-hmm.

[Charlotte]:

have my diagnosis everybody suddenly now treats me for uh like i'm in my costume and respects it you know but no before

[Supdaily]:

before

[Charlotte]:

they

[Supdaily]:

they

[Charlotte]:

would

[Supdaily]:

didn't?

[Charlotte]:

say you are so You're such a bitch and like awful like all the like How can you say the things that you're saying? But now when I have my diagnosis people are like, ah You're oh, it's like now I people can see that that costume or whatever so it's like opposite because I used to have to mask before and to survive and to To kind of like make myself small and fit in And people didn't like that, you know, they didn't like it. So, but they, they, it's.

[Supdaily]:

It's like once you got the diagnosis, all of a sudden people

[Charlotte]:

Yeah.

[Supdaily]:

treated you differently, but you've

[Charlotte]:

Yes!

[Supdaily]:

been that

[Charlotte]:

Yeah!

[Supdaily]:

person the whole time. The only difference is now the way you interact

[Charlotte]:

Yeah,

[Supdaily]:

has

[Charlotte]:

I

[Supdaily]:

a label.

[Charlotte]:

guess and it feels it felt so unfair. So I wanted to Yeah

[Supdaily]:

Inauthentic.

[Charlotte]:

Yeah, also

[Supdaily]:

It's if

[Charlotte]:

I

[Supdaily]:

yeah.

[Charlotte]:

i've been fat many times in my life like fat and thin up and down so It's a kind of a similar sensation to how wild that kind of experience was being fat and having people view me in one way and then become thin and then suddenly doors open up and like you know that thing it's just so strange like I'm the same person

[Supdaily]:

Mm-hmm.

[Charlotte]:

why are everybody doing this it's so strange and feels like ugh I just can't trust anyone you know you just uh I was I've always been a skeptical to person like s s s skeptical towards what people say, I need to check out sources for myself. I can't just believe whatever people say. I'm gonna like check out this. Okay, so you say that. Okay, I'm gonna check out.

[Supdaily]:

That's so good.

[Charlotte]:

Yeah,

[Supdaily]:

More

[Charlotte]:

yeah.

[Supdaily]:

people need that. People just blindly like, well, this works

[Charlotte]:

Oh gosh

[Supdaily]:

for me and I'm

[Charlotte]:

no.

[Supdaily]:

not going to research at all. And then they spread that information. And like, I'm constantly like, we have supercomputers

[Charlotte]:

Yeah,

[Supdaily]:

in our pockets

[Charlotte]:

yeah,

[Supdaily]:

with all the information

[Charlotte]:

yeah,

[Supdaily]:

we could ever need. Why are we

[Charlotte]:

yeah,

[Supdaily]:

just blindly believing

[Charlotte]:

yeah.

[Supdaily]:

what somebody said to us? There's

[Charlotte]:

If there's

[Supdaily]:

so

[Charlotte]:

like

[Supdaily]:

much

[Charlotte]:

an

[Supdaily]:

information

[Charlotte]:

angry

[Supdaily]:

out

[Charlotte]:

post

[Supdaily]:

there.

[Charlotte]:

on Instagram, I'm going to not comment on it because I'm like moved in that instant. I'm going to be careful and I'm gonna, because it's always about a person and that person has feelings, that person may, if it's a celebrity, still that's a human being. I'm not gonna, throw myself on that thing like publicly stoning like vultures are eating grab so i the

[Supdaily]:

Mm-hmm.

[Charlotte]:

first thing i do is just like google it read one story about it but that's not enough i'm gonna have to read 20 more and i'm gonna have to like or even 50 i'm gonna go through a lot of different angles

[Supdaily]:

Yeah,

[Charlotte]:

yeah

[Supdaily]:

that's a

[Charlotte]:

but

[Supdaily]:

lot

[Charlotte]:

if

[Supdaily]:

of

[Charlotte]:

i

[Supdaily]:

research.

[Charlotte]:

want to have an opinion about something i'm not gonna just makes absolutely no sense to have an opinion about something unless you actually know what you're talking about. I mean you can say feelings that's that's different like how do you feel about doing this right now or that I mean you can't help but saying your opinion about that right there and then that's different that's uh but if you're going to be object try and be object it's impossible of course actually and yeah.

[Supdaily]:

It's an emotional time. People speak

[Charlotte]:

Yes!

[Supdaily]:

emotions like they're facts. And it's kind of hard if you want to be objective. You have to almost pick a side societally

[Charlotte]:

Yeah.

[Supdaily]:

now. You have to be in one camp or the other, but you can't just be objective and take it as

[Charlotte]:

And

[Supdaily]:

case

[Charlotte]:

I can't

[Supdaily]:

by case

[Charlotte]:

do

[Supdaily]:

basis.

[Charlotte]:

that. I am... I'm... I just... I'm not extreme in any direction, I would say. I just... I just want everyone to get along and yes, I dare to say that. Oh! Oh! I cannot...

[Supdaily]:

How dare you! People should like

[Charlotte]:

Yes! Yeah,

[Supdaily]:

each other- don't have to like each other, but at least be respectful.

[Charlotte]:

everybody's like, let them disagree. We can disagree to, we can agree to disagree. I'm like, ah hate that! I want to, I hate that!

[Supdaily]:

Wait, why do you hate? Why do you hate the

[Charlotte]:

It's

[Supdaily]:

agree

[Charlotte]:

because

[Supdaily]:

to disagree statement?

[Charlotte]:

it's so lazy. It's like, okay, if we disagree, let's try and see if we can understand each other, is what I would say. Like, okay, but if we do not...

[Supdaily]:

Yeah.

[Charlotte]:

understand each other after a certain amount of time then I Would not say even then I'm agreeing to disagreeing. I'm just gonna say well. I just don't understand this at the moment maybe later

[Supdaily]:

Hmm.

[Charlotte]:

in the future or something you Will see this differently and I will too. Let's circle back to this sometime another time I just don't want to like kind of be that stubborn and kind of it's like it is kind of giving up you know putting closure on something

[Supdaily]:

Mm-hmm

[Charlotte]:

I mean it's okay it's also kind of it's very diplomatic way and peaceful way and avoiding conflict type of way but I know. because I get this feeling that everybody leaves that conversation slightly annoyed. I can feel it. Like everybody kind of really wanted to get their point understood.

[Supdaily]:

They don't want, they don't, it's not really a conversation

[Charlotte]:

Mm-hmm.

[Supdaily]:

with those people. People who speak like that generally are speaking, are listening to speak. They're waiting for their opportunity to say what they have to say, which means they're not actually listening to the other person. And how are you supposed to be educated, even if you disagree on what the other person is saying, if you're not even listening. You're like wanting to change them instead of just, have an exchange of information between two people who might be on opposite sides of the spectrum

[Charlotte]:

Yes,

[Supdaily]:

of an issue. Thank you.

[Charlotte]:

the best thing is to just be patient and hear each other out. That's... I mean this...

[Supdaily]:

People

[Charlotte]:

You...

[Supdaily]:

are not patient.

[Charlotte]:

who me?

[Supdaily]:

People are not patient.

[Charlotte]:

Or people? Oh yeah,

[Supdaily]:

No,

[Charlotte]:

you people

[Supdaily]:

people

[Charlotte]:

are not

[Supdaily]:

in general.

[Charlotte]:

patient. I mean what's... I mean have they ever been though? Have they ever been?

[Supdaily]:

I, you know, there's all just like on the spectrum of autism, there's a spectrum of people. And if I see somebody is acting that way, I just kind of look at them and go, you know, peace be with you, you're probably not someone I want in my life.

[Charlotte]:

Yeah.

[Supdaily]:

And if they have a problem with that, I wish

[Charlotte]:

Okay.

[Supdaily]:

them best on their journey. You know, you I think surrounding yourself with people who just see you for exactly

[Charlotte]:

Yeah.

[Supdaily]:

how you are, is like one of the most wonderful things, but it's going to be a smaller

[Charlotte]:

Yeah,

[Supdaily]:

group of people.

[Charlotte]:

definitely.

[Supdaily]:

Which how many people do you

[Charlotte]:

That's

[Supdaily]:

need though,

[Charlotte]:

it.

[Supdaily]:

you know?

[Charlotte]:

I also came to terms with like losing all the people I thought were friends in my life before I had my big burnout before my diagnosis. But after getting my diagnosis in my healing journey there, I just realized that it's not in the numbers, the friendships. It's like... You don't really need like a hundred... You can't possibly even have one hundred friends. Like not close friends. How are you going to nurture?

[Supdaily]:

No, it's

[Charlotte]:

Yeah,

[Supdaily]:

like

[Charlotte]:

it's like

[Supdaily]:

a collection.

[Charlotte]:

a collection. Like having like a few close friends at a time. Like maybe one close friend at a time or two or three max. I don't think I could... Well, you got to be a good friend. You need... time to focus on them also so how can they be a good friend back you know so I agree with that how many friends do you need because yeah

[Supdaily]:

Mm-hmm.

[Charlotte]:

but anyway I accepted that I don't feel bad about that either after I mean they weren't even friends.

[Supdaily]:

No, I actually just posted a video this past week talking about after I went to therapy and I healed a lot of the trauma that I had experienced, a lot of people

[Charlotte]:

Mm.

[Supdaily]:

fell off. A lot of people

[Charlotte]:

Yeah.

[Supdaily]:

were not my friends anymore because they were connected to the unhealthy

[Charlotte]:

Mm.

[Supdaily]:

version of myself. And so as much as it might hurt to lose those people, if those people aren't truly in your what are you really losing? I think it's like an illusion

[Charlotte]:

Yeah.

[Supdaily]:

of connection instead of actual connection, because they were connecting to what's essentially

[Charlotte]:

Yeah.

[Supdaily]:

your mask. That's probably, do you feel like maybe that's an aspect of it, that like, you were showing up in a way that people would accept you, but maybe wasn't true to who you were, and people attached to that instead of

[Charlotte]:

It was just

[Supdaily]:

who

[Charlotte]:

a

[Supdaily]:

you

[Charlotte]:

lot

[Supdaily]:

are.

[Charlotte]:

of falseness, falsity, what is the word? Yeah, it's just like a lot. Yeah, everything.

[Supdaily]:

It's

[Charlotte]:

I mean,

[Supdaily]:

just fake.

[Charlotte]:

everyone nowadays goes around saying that the world feels so fake and all that. But this is a different level kind of fake. I've asked people around me, like, are you, do you genuinely like... Do you enjoy this situation right now? Do you feel relaxed? And like, do you actually feel like this is interesting? Like to have this sitting around this table talking with these people and people would say, yeah, I love this, this is so nice. And then I would realize that, ah, I, this is not for me. I, because

[Supdaily]:

Mm-hmm.

[Charlotte]:

I can't be myself. I can't be myself and then at the same time I don't really even believe that this person actually mean what they say, that they're happy with this situation. It's just...

[Supdaily]:

They're just more focused on

[Charlotte]:

Yes!

[Supdaily]:

maintaining the... At the expense of themselves. I finally got to a point where I just like, my friends don't even ask me if it's late night. I go to bed early. They don't even bother

[Charlotte]:

Hmm.

[Supdaily]:

asking me anymore. But before, I would force myself into these situations that I didn't wanna be in at all just so I didn't rock the boat, that I didn't make people uncomfortable. And I can imagine that you had aspects of that with yourself.

[Charlotte]:

Yeah, well, I made I rocked the boat and made people uncomfortable without even realizing it all the time. And I was more like walking around thinking, what have I done to rock the boat? How did I even rock it? What? How? How did this happen?

[Supdaily]:

Mm-hmm.

[Charlotte]:

So I very,

[Supdaily]:

That's gotta

[Charlotte]:

very,

[Supdaily]:

be so frustrating.

[Charlotte]:

and nobody really wants to explain it in in the level of detail that I need to understand either. Like, now I ask a lot, a lot, a lot, so much whenever I know somebody has misinterpreted me. I am not afraid to ask a lot of questions. What do you mean? Did you mean that this and that and that? I just want to get to the bottom of things for the first time in my life and I've solved so many things. Like solving all these situations for the first time in my life just because

[Supdaily]:

Mm-hmm.

[Charlotte]:

I'm not scared of just saying things truthfully anymore. But being nice about it. I don't have

[Supdaily]:

Yeah.

[Charlotte]:

to be. So one...

[Supdaily]:

I'm just like listening to you and you're just like, yeah, I can I can like feel like frustration coming out of you because it seems

[Charlotte]:

Yeah.

[Supdaily]:

like you're trying so hard and like still

[Charlotte]:

Mmm.

[Supdaily]:

still struggling with it. Have you found community? Have you found a place where people truly accept you or has it been kind of a solo journey for you?

[Charlotte]:

I found a community where people accept me, yes, definitely. And autism, ADHD, or

[Supdaily]:

Audi

[Charlotte]:

the toilet,

[Supdaily]:

HD, the French version.

[Charlotte]:

or the HD.

[Supdaily]:

Yeah.

[Charlotte]:

Yeah, that is like, or the cologne.

[Supdaily]:

That's the new term.

[Charlotte]:

Well, yeah. Where now I lost, yeah.

[Supdaily]:

Oh God. Oh, you know, I'm doing this too.

[Charlotte]:

I keep

[Supdaily]:

So

[Charlotte]:

digressing,

[Supdaily]:

don't.

[Charlotte]:

this is ADHD digression,

[Supdaily]:

I was asking

[Charlotte]:

like,

[Supdaily]:

where

[Charlotte]:

ah.

[Supdaily]:

you found like where you

[Charlotte]:

Community,

[Supdaily]:

where

[Charlotte]:

oh

[Supdaily]:

have

[Charlotte]:

my

[Supdaily]:

you

[Charlotte]:

god,

[Supdaily]:

found

[Charlotte]:

you're

[Supdaily]:

community?

[Charlotte]:

so good at finding where we were, I guess. The community is super nice and it's like. coming home and feeling safe. And obviously there are mean people everywhere. There are mean people here as well that I've encountered in the autism online community. Some gatekeepers, tone policers, and I'm none of those things because I'm like we talked about earlier. I'm like, I'm not part of that whole. I'm so offended about this and that. I do think it is okay and valid though to say I'm offended or this hurt me. Of course, but if someone says it, I don't believe in like hunting them to the edge of the world for what someone said. I just want people to

[Supdaily]:

Mm-hmm.

[Charlotte]:

stop and, okay, so let's hear this person out. Well, it depends, of course, what they did. If they murdered some...

[Supdaily]:

Yeah.

[Charlotte]:

child and I don't want to listen then I mean I'm

[Supdaily]:

Yeah,

[Charlotte]:

yes

[Supdaily]:

yeah,

[Charlotte]:

then they

[Supdaily]:

they should

[Charlotte]:

yeah

[Supdaily]:

be in jail.

[Charlotte]:

then it's clear like come on but

[Supdaily]:

I think it's the difference between what you said offended me and

[Charlotte]:

Yeah.

[Supdaily]:

you

[Charlotte]:

Yeah.

[Supdaily]:

are offensive.

[Charlotte]:

Yeah. But the

[Supdaily]:

There's

[Charlotte]:

thing...

[Supdaily]:

a difference there.

[Charlotte]:

So in the community, there is community of people, they feel safe to be around and all that, but there's also this issue with, like I said, many autistic people have traits for being very stubborn and very law abiding or like following rules and I'm one of them but I have that

[Supdaily]:

Mm-hmm.

[Charlotte]:

maybe it's come with age I think because I do see myself in the younger autistic people like this righteousness but it's a bit tricky because... We have to stop and listen. We have to stop and listen. Because everybody has their own story behind it. Of course, not this

[Supdaily]:

Mm-hmm.

[Charlotte]:

child murderer. I will not, I will not. No,

[Supdaily]:

No,

[Charlotte]:

no,

[Supdaily]:

no

[Charlotte]:

but

[Supdaily]:

murdering of children.

[Charlotte]:

I just can't think of anything

[Supdaily]:

No.

[Charlotte]:

worse. But there must be

[Supdaily]:

Yeah.

[Charlotte]:

some, because I'm not a religious person either. So I don't understand. I'm sorry if I am offending anyone. I think I'm an ATS, but I don't understand when, for example, people say, well, God will forgive him. Like some murderer. I don't understand it. It's not logical to me. I do not understand

[Supdaily]:

Yeah.

[Charlotte]:

it. There is like who? So...

[Supdaily]:

Yeah.

[Charlotte]:

But there is always... I think it's important that we listen to each other in every community. And have an open mind and that we're able to. Learn from mistakes and forgive each other if we mess up and all of that. And it's just that the autism community has had a tendency of being very dismissive of... It's been almost like the autism community has groups within it, you know? Little cliques, yes.

[Supdaily]:

Little clicks,

[Charlotte]:

And

[Supdaily]:

yeah.

[Charlotte]:

some are more... Uh... All right.

[Supdaily]:

Judgmental,

[Charlotte]:

Yeah,

[Supdaily]:

high and mighty,

[Charlotte]:

I could

[Supdaily]:

exclusive.

[Charlotte]:

I can't say these things. What if they hear it? They're gonna come for me.

[Supdaily]:

I could keep going I I'm so used to people yell at me all the time.

[Charlotte]:

No.

[Supdaily]:

So I just kind of like,

[Charlotte]:

See? See? They made

[Supdaily]:

let

[Charlotte]:

me

[Supdaily]:

them

[Charlotte]:

scared.

[Supdaily]:

because you

[Charlotte]:

They made

[Supdaily]:

you

[Charlotte]:

me

[Supdaily]:

you

[Charlotte]:

scared.

[Supdaily]:

recognize

[Charlotte]:

I don't like this.

[Supdaily]:

Do not let, there's one, I had someone on my podcast once and she said a quote that really stuck with me as she said, stop

[Charlotte]:

Yes,

[Supdaily]:

giving

[Charlotte]:

yes, yes.

[Supdaily]:

strangers

[Charlotte]:

I mean

[Supdaily]:

so

[Charlotte]:

like,

[Supdaily]:

much power

[Charlotte]:

okay, so

[Supdaily]:

over you.

[Charlotte]:

I don't like how they are making me scared to just say This that I I don't like that. They are so strict that they cannot Give people a chance why they are

[Supdaily]:

Yeah, but

[Charlotte]:

Yeah

[Supdaily]:

you're still using your voice

[Charlotte]:

but

[Supdaily]:

though. You're using

[Charlotte]:

I've

[Supdaily]:

it every

[Charlotte]:

been

[Supdaily]:

day, so that's

[Charlotte]:

uh

[Supdaily]:

great.

[Charlotte]:

trying to uh Very I've worked very hard on How I use my voice that it is?

[Supdaily]:

Yeah.

[Charlotte]:

I don't want to become this like, oh inclusive for everyone. I want to still have my identity and I want to still have...

[Supdaily]:

Yes.

[Charlotte]:

distinctive way of speaking, but I'm trying to be... Actually, I'm not gonna say more grown up because I don't feel like grownups are the ones who makes the best decisions. And when people say, oh, now you're being a child, I actually, I disagree. I think most children are the wisest. I mean, like they're the purest of mind and having the

[Supdaily]:

Mm-hmm.

[Charlotte]:

most... heartfelt empathy and the way they share with each other before they are muddled in the way of thinking. So actually I feel like I'm going back to myself, my inner child. I want to

[Supdaily]:

No,

[Charlotte]:

be

[Supdaily]:

but

[Charlotte]:

a child

[Supdaily]:

I love that.

[Charlotte]:

in

[Supdaily]:

I

[Charlotte]:

the

[Supdaily]:

think

[Charlotte]:

way

[Supdaily]:

it...

[Charlotte]:

that I interact with people. I don't want

[Supdaily]:

Yes.

[Charlotte]:

to be like this mature

[Supdaily]:

The brain is malleable.

[Charlotte]:

Oh, I want to be a baby talking to people.

[Supdaily]:

Yeah,

[Charlotte]:

Yes.

[Supdaily]:

they absorb information.

[Charlotte]:

Yes. Yes.

[Supdaily]:

They don't come from a place of judgment. If they don't

[Charlotte]:

Yeah.

[Supdaily]:

know something, they

[Charlotte]:

Yeah.

[Supdaily]:

learn about it. And it's like, I think

[Charlotte]:

Yeah!

[Supdaily]:

I refuse to be a grownup. I will be an adult because I don't have a choice, but

[Charlotte]:

Yeah,

[Supdaily]:

my brain will be that of a child

[Charlotte]:

that

[Supdaily]:

because

[Charlotte]:

is

[Supdaily]:

how much

[Charlotte]:

also

[Supdaily]:

more

[Charlotte]:

what

[Supdaily]:

fun

[Charlotte]:

you

[Supdaily]:

is

[Charlotte]:

said

[Supdaily]:

that?

[Charlotte]:

is so

[Supdaily]:

Because

[Charlotte]:

true

[Supdaily]:

you play.

[Charlotte]:

that about absorbing and learning new things and just listening to them and and children are not born evil you know they're not born evil that that's

[Supdaily]:

Nope.

[Charlotte]:

that's what I'm trying to like remember how I felt and was thinking before all of these shitty things happen that started to make my mind so dark and depressed and yeah.

[Supdaily]:

Mm-hmm.

[Charlotte]:

So that's what makes me very feeling very relaxed and happy and joyful is when I feel like oh oh that's actually I can remember that I had this kind of thinking when I was around five. I like this. Yes

[Supdaily]:

Mm-hmm.

[Charlotte]:

this is how it should be.

[Supdaily]:

Mm-hmm.

[Charlotte]:

Yeah so hmm.

[Supdaily]:

Can I ask you about a few of the subjects that you cover on your social media? For people who don't know, understand what masking is, can

[Charlotte]:

Yes,

[Supdaily]:

you describe what masking

[Charlotte]:

masking

[Supdaily]:

is?

[Charlotte]:

is literally what it sounds like. It's a self-defense survival mechanism that also neurotypical or realistic people, everyone, can do, but that certain people, especially autistic people, do to a much more higher extent, on a much higher level than other people do because of how different we are when we are not wearing a mask. We are just so different from what society deems acceptable that we have no other choice than to wear all these different... different types of masks in all these different types of situations in order to adapt and survive. And it's a constant pressure to also practice when we are home by ourselves. It doesn't stop. We may like hang that mask. on the coat hanger or whatever, a mask hanger on the thing. And, but we still keep practicing in the mirror or wherever, like I used to practice by watching movies and learning scripts and learning how to interact with people, I learned social intelligence by watching an immense amount of movies, so much. Nobody else in my childhood did that, not that I know of.

[Supdaily]:

When you mask like that, what are you feeling internally, like behind the mask,

[Charlotte]:

Well,

[Supdaily]:

like your true

[Charlotte]:

it depends

[Supdaily]:

self?

[Charlotte]:

on what situation I am in and what mask I'm wearing. Oh gosh,

[Supdaily]:

You have several masks?

[Charlotte]:

yes. There's like, oh,

[Supdaily]:

Can you explain?

[Charlotte]:

I can even be... I can be, I mean like... So it's also like mirroring other people, you know.

[Supdaily]:

Hmm.

[Charlotte]:

If I observe somebody one evening, it's like, okay, now I have observed this person and I can be that person at another event where this person is not. I can just borrow their mask. Because I see how they

[Supdaily]:

Mmm.

[Charlotte]:

interacted with the people around them. Okay, I can use this kind of behavior, this kind of interaction, the words that they use, the smile, the eyes, the like, also the clothing style, okay, take notes and like, it's wild how and then just archive it like a robot and also autistic people are often being called robots so that's not so strange but yeah oh oh gosh i pulled

[Supdaily]:

That's interesting.

[Charlotte]:

a muscle or something

[Supdaily]:

Oh no.

[Charlotte]:

bye bye but

[Supdaily]:

So

[Charlotte]:

but

[Supdaily]:

when

[Charlotte]:

yeah

[Supdaily]:

do you get to show up as yourself? Like what, like how, when do you

[Charlotte]:

Uh...

[Supdaily]:

get to be you?

[Charlotte]:

Yeah. Yeah, yeah, I was

[Supdaily]:

You

[Charlotte]:

just

[Supdaily]:

okay?

[Charlotte]:

like trying to think if I finished what I...

[Supdaily]:

Cause

[Charlotte]:

No, no, no, no, I

[Supdaily]:

like

[Charlotte]:

just,

[Supdaily]:

you're, oh, I apologize.

[Charlotte]:

I just

[Supdaily]:

I

[Charlotte]:

hope...

[Supdaily]:

stepped on what you were saying. So you're mimicking

[Charlotte]:

Yeah.

[Supdaily]:

faces, you're mimicking behaviors, you're mimicking style so that

[Charlotte]:

I was

[Supdaily]:

you

[Charlotte]:

just

[Supdaily]:

can

[Charlotte]:

worried

[Supdaily]:

assimilate

[Charlotte]:

if

[Supdaily]:

to

[Charlotte]:

I

[Supdaily]:

where you

[Charlotte]:

ended

[Supdaily]:

are

[Charlotte]:

what I said

[Supdaily]:

and maybe not

[Charlotte]:

on a

[Supdaily]:

be.

[Charlotte]:

very strange note. I didn't want to sound like this horror movie

[Supdaily]:

No.

[Charlotte]:

character who's like I'm watching this person and I'm

[Supdaily]:

No, no,

[Charlotte]:

like taking it.

[Supdaily]:

I don't think anybody thinks you're literally taking people's

[Charlotte]:

Yeah.

[Supdaily]:

faces off and put them

[Charlotte]:

Yeah.

[Supdaily]:

on yours. So luckily

[Charlotte]:

Oh gosh.

[Supdaily]:

we're safe

[Charlotte]:

Oh,

[Supdaily]:

there.

[Charlotte]:

that sounds

[Supdaily]:

But like

[Charlotte]:

awful.

[Supdaily]:

it does

[Charlotte]:

Oh

[Supdaily]:

sound,

[Charlotte]:

gosh. Yeah,

[Supdaily]:

it sounds

[Charlotte]:

it is.

[Supdaily]:

tiring what you're describing.

[Charlotte]:

So.

[Supdaily]:

It sounds exhausting.

[Charlotte]:

For example, when I used to work as a designer in design agencies, graphic designer, that was my career, my job before I got burnout. And it did not go very well and I tried all sorts of different masks. I worked in London in some of the largest design agencies in the world. That I got headhunted straight from university. because my designs were awesome. They stood out. They were different from others and people said oh your designs are so quirky. I'm like well yeah yeah all the

[Supdaily]:

My

[Charlotte]:

other

[Supdaily]:

brain works different,

[Charlotte]:

students

[Supdaily]:

you

[Charlotte]:

hated

[Supdaily]:

know?

[Charlotte]:

it but but yeah so in those work situations for example in London because yeah being an intern I had to put on my fawning mask and I'm actually more of a clown naturally. My natural... Well, a robot clown. Maybe... Oh, they... Yeah.

[Supdaily]:

Ro- wait, I thought

[Charlotte]:

No,

[Supdaily]:

we weren't

[Charlotte]:

it's

[Supdaily]:

supposed to

[Charlotte]:

okay.

[Supdaily]:

call you a robot

[Charlotte]:

It's

[Supdaily]:

and

[Charlotte]:

okay.

[Supdaily]:

now you're calling yourself a robot.

[Charlotte]:

I never said that it's not

[Supdaily]:

But

[Charlotte]:

okay

[Supdaily]:

you're not

[Charlotte]:

to

[Supdaily]:

a

[Charlotte]:

call

[Supdaily]:

robot.

[Charlotte]:

Disney people a robot, but I mean...

[Supdaily]:

I will just

[Charlotte]:

Well,

[Supdaily]:

I'm not going

[Charlotte]:

but

[Supdaily]:

to okay

[Charlotte]:

I

[Supdaily]:

I don't

[Charlotte]:

like

[Supdaily]:

like

[Charlotte]:

technology. I don't understand why it's an offensive thing. But I was thinking about data.

[Supdaily]:

Well,

[Charlotte]:

Yeah,

[Supdaily]:

I think it takes

[Charlotte]:

you

[Supdaily]:

the

[Charlotte]:

know

[Supdaily]:

human

[Charlotte]:

data

[Supdaily]:

element out

[Charlotte]:

in

[Supdaily]:

of you.

[Charlotte]:

Star Trek? Yeah, I feel...

[Supdaily]:

I love data,

[Charlotte]:

I feel

[Supdaily]:

yeah.

[Charlotte]:

more

[Supdaily]:

I

[Charlotte]:

like

[Supdaily]:

used to watch

[Charlotte]:

Data

[Supdaily]:

that all the time.

[Charlotte]:

in a way. You know, so he could also, I guess, learn a lot and just take from his archive all these different things that

[Supdaily]:

Mm-hmm

[Charlotte]:

I feel exactly like Data. Wow, how did I never see that before? That's

[Supdaily]:

hahahahahahah

[Charlotte]:

like me. Well, yeah. And he's like an android, a humanoid, yeah,

[Supdaily]:

Yeah, he's

[Charlotte]:

but... AI, but

[Supdaily]:

AI

[Charlotte]:

he also

[Supdaily]:

essentially.

[Charlotte]:

falls in love with a human being. Like, it

[Supdaily]:

Yes.

[Charlotte]:

actually does that. So, but, yeah. All the masks that I wore, it was awful when I worked in the design agencies. I would, they would... tell me to like, can you go and make everybody a cup of tea? Like, go and make everybody a cup of tea? Okay,

[Supdaily]:

No.

[Charlotte]:

so I would just like, like... Like, you know, like, just like... Um... Yes, I will go and make everybody a cup of tea. Now obviously nobody

[Supdaily]:

but you

[Charlotte]:

would

[Supdaily]:

don't want

[Charlotte]:

want

[Supdaily]:

to.

[Charlotte]:

that. No.

[Supdaily]:

Nobody wants to,

[Charlotte]:

But...

[Supdaily]:

but you just do

[Charlotte]:

But...

[Supdaily]:

it. So that's kind of like, what's kind of what you're talking about, where you just kind

[Charlotte]:

Yes,

[Supdaily]:

of do what people

[Charlotte]:

but

[Supdaily]:

expect of you.

[Charlotte]:

I feel like I did it so perfectly well, yet they complained. Maybe I was too fond, you know, maybe I was too submissive, that when people see you as too submissive you become this sort of target for people to... they even want to pick on you even more, you know? because I was too... weakly like weak or

[Supdaily]:

Mm-hmm.

[Charlotte]:

When Who I actually am is I wouldn't say opinionated because we talked about that. I Analytical more and open to listening, but I like to What is that? It's not not a snowflake. No, no, no, no. No, that's snowball. No, sorry now my language left

[Supdaily]:

Would you say you're a more like

[Charlotte]:

Yeah, yeah,

[Supdaily]:

assertive,

[Charlotte]:

there we go. Yes,

[Supdaily]:

direct,

[Charlotte]:

yes, yes. That's like

[Supdaily]:

honest?

[Charlotte]:

more who I am. Assertive,

[Supdaily]:

Yeah.

[Charlotte]:

direct and honest. Yes, yes. And

[Supdaily]:

Yeah.

[Charlotte]:

cut to the chase, get to the point. Like, but with a lot of nuance on the way sometimes.

[Supdaily]:

Do you have people that love that up? Because what you're describing

[Charlotte]:

Mmm. Mm-hmm.

[Supdaily]:

is kind of how I show up in the world, like I'm very direct. I tell people exactly what I think. I ask very direct questions

[Charlotte]:

Mm.

[Supdaily]:

because

[Charlotte]:

Mm.

[Supdaily]:

I wanna have a better understanding. Do you have people in your life that you can be that around free of judgment? It sounds like your mom has an aspect of that. So, I'm gonna go ahead and

[Charlotte]:

Yeah,

[Supdaily]:

start with you. I'm gonna start with you.

[Charlotte]:

gosh, my mom is probably the only one left in the world that I dare to be completely 100% Like

[Supdaily]:

Authentic.

[Charlotte]:

Yeah, but then again now

[Supdaily]:

True.

[Charlotte]:

I felt maybe not after all. I don't know if I think I can be part my authentic self just partly with people, you know. Like there are just some things my mom seems to become seem uncomfortable with when I do or say or how I am. So I just have to respect that. to some degree. For example. Yeah so I guess nobody can and that's just about respecting people's boundaries I guess also to just have

[Supdaily]:

Yeah.

[Charlotte]:

empathy to what people because yeah but um oh god I keep like cross-talking so much I think.

[Supdaily]:

So when I bring up other questions, does it make your brain go in too many directions

[Charlotte]:

Probably.

[Supdaily]:

and then you get lost? Yeah. What would help in the way that I ask questions just to let you

[Charlotte]:

Ah, yeah.

[Supdaily]:

finish your full

[Charlotte]:

Yeah.

[Supdaily]:

process?

[Charlotte]:

Finish my full process. Yeah, that's good. But it's it probably has to be edited out like everything I say.

[Supdaily]:

That's on this end. That's on this end. You don't worry about that. There was one thing you were talking about though. Are

[Charlotte]:

Oh.

[Supdaily]:

we

[Charlotte]:

Hahaha.

[Supdaily]:

okay to move to

[Charlotte]:

Yeah,

[Supdaily]:

the

[Charlotte]:

okay.

[Supdaily]:

next thing? Okay, now I'm

[Charlotte]:

Yeah.

[Supdaily]:

just trying to make sure that we're still with each other.

[Charlotte]:

Mm.

[Supdaily]:

You talked about overstimulation. And that's something that I

[Charlotte]:

Mm.

[Supdaily]:

struggle with massively. Like if there's too much happening, I literally have to remove myself from the situation. I was at the airport the other day. And the boarding area was in the walk

[Charlotte]:

Yeah.

[Supdaily]:

area as well. And I had to go put myself in a bathroom stall so that I could get away

[Charlotte]:

Oh.

[Supdaily]:

from everything that was happening there. Can you talk about overstimulation and you and ways that you kind of bring yourself

[Charlotte]:

Mmm.

[Supdaily]:

back to center when you experience

[Charlotte]:

Yeah.

[Supdaily]:

it?

[Charlotte]:

I have to just, if I am, it depends also on where I am when I'm overstimulated. Again, I always say it depends on the situation, for what mask I'm wearing, it depends on situation for how to bring myself back from overstimulation or meltdowns. I mean, if I'm in a situation where... people around me are not being helpful, then it's like close to impossible to down stimulate because most of the time it requires to, like you said, to remove yourself from a situation, to go and isolate for a minute or two or hour, couple of days or a week. Yeah, yeah,

[Supdaily]:

Disappear from Earth,

[Charlotte]:

you just

[Supdaily]:

go to the moon,

[Charlotte]:

have to get

[Supdaily]:

you

[Charlotte]:

away

[Supdaily]:

know?

[Charlotte]:

from everything and just pull the curtains, everything, turn off the lights and take all my clothes off and like put on, yeah, not completely naked, I need to have like my underwear on but then like, yeah, because that feels weird

[Supdaily]:

Same.

[Charlotte]:

also to be completely naked.

[Supdaily]:

Yeah.

[Charlotte]:

It does not feel like, oh, I feel so free. No, that feels like...

[Supdaily]:

Mm-mm.

[Charlotte]:

I feel like, yeah.

[Supdaily]:

No.

[Charlotte]:

So, but to not have something

[Supdaily]:

Nope.

[Charlotte]:

that is constricting my body in some way, that's what I feel I need

[Supdaily]:

Mm-hmm.

[Charlotte]:

to have over stimulation away. And then also to have a right temperature and the correct lighting. Like, oh, I already said that, pull the curtains. And maybe just like get under my, the covers and just like. Close my eyes and be completely quiet. Put in earplugs. Just dark, quiet. Or

[Supdaily]:

Hmm.

[Charlotte]:

actually just put on something to watch. Some Korean drama or something. Yeah,

[Supdaily]:

Korean

[Charlotte]:

especially

[Supdaily]:

drama? Is that

[Charlotte]:

Korean

[Supdaily]:

what

[Charlotte]:

drama.

[Supdaily]:

you're into? Yeah. What is it about Korean drama

[Charlotte]:

It's

[Supdaily]:

that

[Charlotte]:

just

[Supdaily]:

you

[Charlotte]:

that

[Supdaily]:

enjoy?

[Charlotte]:

it's so diverse. It's so, so many different stories to... to dive into. It's just such a wide spectrum of stories. They have like

[Supdaily]:

Mm-hmm.

[Charlotte]:

all

[Supdaily]:

Oh! Heh, heh.

[Charlotte]:

sorts of like, it's different from western TV shows where they usually play on money,

[Supdaily]:

Mm-hmm.

[Charlotte]:

sex and violence. But in Korean dramas, they, the men cry so much. and show emotions. They never do that in the western shows.

[Supdaily]:

Mm-hmm.

[Charlotte]:

Or if a man cries in western tv

[Supdaily]:

No.

[Charlotte]:

shows or movies, they are completely, have completely lost it or something or it's like something extreme. But in the Korean

[Supdaily]:

Yeah.

[Charlotte]:

dramas it's so... It's so relatable and vulnerable for a simple thing, for normal things. Normal things like crying because...

[Supdaily]:

I think that's, I mean, me being a part of Western society

[Charlotte]:

Yeah.

[Supdaily]:

and a man, that's my mask. That's how I have to, if I cry, then I'm looked at as weak or less than, or I'm occupying space, it's been for someone else's emotions, so I can express violence,

[Charlotte]:

Hmm.

[Supdaily]:

I can express strength, but I can't express any sort of vulnerability without judgment.

[Charlotte]:

Mm.

[Supdaily]:

So in a way, I guess that would be. the

[Charlotte]:

Yeah.

[Supdaily]:

mask that I show up societally with. And I'm less so

[Charlotte]:

Yeah.

[Supdaily]:

that I cry all the time. I need to or

[Charlotte]:

Yeah,

[Supdaily]:

it comes

[Charlotte]:

right?

[Supdaily]:

out in a very unhealthy way.

[Charlotte]:

Yeah,

[Supdaily]:

But

[Charlotte]:

I mean,

[Supdaily]:

yeah.

[Charlotte]:

when I before I started my healing journey and and got my diagnosis and all of that. I started writing a book that's about everyone I'm going to kill because I was so angry. So yeah, it comes out in unhealthy ways. It comes out in unhealthy

[Supdaily]:

Wow.

[Charlotte]:

ways, but I'm completely open about it and

[Supdaily]:

Yeah.

[Charlotte]:

talk to my therapist about it that I... seriously want to kill people. I want to murder everybody who ever hurt me and this is how I'm gonna do it but because I'm saying

[Supdaily]:

Mm-hmm.

[Charlotte]:

it out loud I know I'm good I'm good I'm not I'm not plotting here in

[Supdaily]:

That's

[Charlotte]:

silence

[Supdaily]:

good.

[Charlotte]:

making actual plans I'm talking about it so

[Supdaily]:

Perfect.

[Charlotte]:

I'm so I'm airing it out that That's a healthy thing, you know. But I think I may actually still finish writing that book, you know, because it's it's like this typical vigilante story, like, you know, Kill Bill, like this storyline of people.

[Supdaily]:

Hmm.

[Charlotte]:

I do watch a lot of movies and. and stuff and series and all that so it's all fiction obviously it's all fiction but it's about the good and the evil all this stuff and i don't want to make myself sound like some sort of like oh poor you of course you should kill all the people you want in your book no no that's not it it's just that it kind of

[Supdaily]:

Mm-hmm.

[Charlotte]:

it's part of uh how am I going to get out of this pickle? Now I really dug myself into sounding scary but no no but I mean like where do Stephen King gets his shit

[Supdaily]:

It's fiction.

[Charlotte]:

from? I mean like people

[Supdaily]:

Yeah.

[Charlotte]:

I mean people have yeah but also yeah this is no no no

[Supdaily]:

Do you want to move on?

[Charlotte]:

it's just I've been thinking a lot

[Supdaily]:

Okay.

[Charlotte]:

about how a nipple causes so much reaction in the world, but murdering and doing that shit on movies, everybody accepts that. And I just was thinking about that right now

[Supdaily]:

Yeah.

[Charlotte]:

when I said I would love to finish that story because it's part of my... My interest is movies and all that and these superhero vigilante stories and revenge stories especially. Yeah, after

[Supdaily]:

Oh,

[Charlotte]:

having

[Supdaily]:

I

[Charlotte]:

been

[Supdaily]:

love revenge

[Charlotte]:

bullied

[Supdaily]:

stories.

[Charlotte]:

and treated, it's like revenge where it's kind of, that does good for... Yeah, yeah, but it does it

[Supdaily]:

Righteous.

[Charlotte]:

helps other people too. For example, if someone takes revenge on someone it's not just benefiting themselves. It's actually helping hundreds of other people because that one evil person is ruining so many lives. So, so it has to be good for something, you know. Yeah,

[Supdaily]:

Have you

[Charlotte]:

long

[Supdaily]:

seen

[Charlotte]:

time

[Supdaily]:

Boondock

[Charlotte]:

ago.

[Supdaily]:

Saints?

[Charlotte]:

Oh, okay.

[Supdaily]:

Oh,

[Charlotte]:

Hmm.

[Supdaily]:

that's one of my favorite revenge, because it's just like the people they go after are people who

[Charlotte]:

Yeah,

[Supdaily]:

are causing harm, which is why nobody

[Charlotte]:

yes and that's

[Supdaily]:

stops

[Charlotte]:

like,

[Supdaily]:

them.

[Charlotte]:

that's a good,

[Supdaily]:

Yeah.

[Charlotte]:

that's a very good plot. So a feel good, it has to

[Supdaily]:

Mm-hmm.

[Charlotte]:

be feel good

[Supdaily]:

We like

[Charlotte]:

in there,

[Supdaily]:

that.

[Charlotte]:

not just like horror or like that. Well so yeah, I digressed into...

[Supdaily]:

Can you give me some movie examples that you

[Charlotte]:

Mmm.

[Supdaily]:

watch that follow that line?

[Charlotte]:

There's so many. I mean, mmm. Okay. Uh, old movies. Like Shawshank Redemption. Uh, that was like one of the

[Supdaily]:

Mmm.

[Charlotte]:

first ones. And then there's, uh... Uh... Oh, I had it, but it slipped my mind. Let's go to the new Handmaid's Tale. That's like... Uh...

[Supdaily]:

I had to stop

[Charlotte]:

Yes!

[Supdaily]:

watching that one because

[Charlotte]:

Yeah,

[Supdaily]:

it became

[Charlotte]:

yeah,

[Supdaily]:

too close

[Charlotte]:

yeah,

[Supdaily]:

to reality.

[Charlotte]:

I know, but also... Yeah, it's too... I understand. I also... Yeah, yeah, especially there.

[Supdaily]:

especially here.

[Charlotte]:

I understand. Oh gosh. But I felt like

[Supdaily]:

Mm-hmm.

[Charlotte]:

also

[Supdaily]:

Yeah.

[Charlotte]:

they were stretching it so far. Like, when are they gonna just end it? Like, oh, what's happening with the sound?

[Supdaily]:

Yeah

[Charlotte]:

Is that me? Oh, it was like a scratching

[Supdaily]:

I think

[Charlotte]:

noise.

[Supdaily]:

we're good.

[Charlotte]:

Like a long... Yeah, yeah. Oh, no,

[Supdaily]:

Oh, we good now?

[Charlotte]:

now it's scratching again. Is that me?

[Supdaily]:

Okay.

[Charlotte]:

No. Oh, is that me? I think maybe it is. It's like, shh. Okay. Yeah.

[Supdaily]:

We should, are we good now?

[Charlotte]:

So

[Supdaily]:

Is it still,

[Charlotte]:

before

[Supdaily]:

okay.

[Charlotte]:

I started talking about the book that I said I wanted to...

[Supdaily]:

We went book about murder

[Charlotte]:

That would

[Supdaily]:

and then

[Charlotte]:

be sorrow

[Supdaily]:

handmaid's tale and how it's too.

[Charlotte]:

because I had a point I wanted to make and then I digressed into it. So and I actually want to write a book about it. So I didn't I never got to my point, actually. And now we're talking about something completely different. But that's what how ADHD is like. So we just have to live with it. So.

[Supdaily]:

And now you got me wondering if maybe I need to go talk to someone because you're like, what were we talking about? I was like, I actually don't

[Charlotte]:

Yeah.

[Supdaily]:

remember. I'm in the middle. I think that's just that's not like too too too uncommon. Well, I have

[Charlotte]:

No,

[Supdaily]:

like

[Charlotte]:

I'm just

[Supdaily]:

how about

[Charlotte]:

doing...

[Supdaily]:

this? We can move. Oh, continue.

[Charlotte]:

Yeah, no, but that's how it

[Supdaily]:

Oh,

[Charlotte]:

is

[Supdaily]:

you

[Charlotte]:

like

[Supdaily]:

got me.

[Charlotte]:

when

[Supdaily]:

I

[Charlotte]:

the

[Supdaily]:

was like,

[Charlotte]:

ADHD

[Supdaily]:

okay.

[Charlotte]:

or meet each other. It's like, oh, yes. And oh, what was I saying? Oh, yeah. So I'm actually I'm super, super concentrated here now. And like, actually.

[Supdaily]:

So like when I ask you something else, your brain is still

[Charlotte]:

Yes.

[Supdaily]:

trying to figure out the thing that we haven't. Okay, so let's walk it back. Oh, I was asking, no, we're gonna do this together. We were talking about

[Charlotte]:

But not to forget where

[Supdaily]:

movies.

[Charlotte]:

I was about to go. I was also going to finish, yeah, so I

[Supdaily]:

But

[Charlotte]:

was

[Supdaily]:

we

[Charlotte]:

going

[Supdaily]:

gotta

[Charlotte]:

to

[Supdaily]:

draw

[Charlotte]:

finish

[Supdaily]:

a line back,

[Charlotte]:

the vigilante

[Supdaily]:

right?

[Charlotte]:

movies. Also after the Han Mese was Kill Bill, and I love that, Uma Thurman going after, because he, like, Billy, it was like, he tried to murder her when she was highly pregnant. And then he took out her baby from her belly. Like, that

[Supdaily]:

Yeah.

[Charlotte]:

I would also understand her revenge. Oh, goodness! But I mean, yeah, let's

[Supdaily]:

Yes.

[Charlotte]:

backtrack from those revenge stories and then I... Why did I even say that I want...

[Supdaily]:

We were talking about movies that you enjoy. And then we're talking about revenge because you experience bullying. And that's why you're attracted to those types of movies. Boondock Saints, we're talking about the revenge has to come from a good

[Charlotte]:

help

[Supdaily]:

place.

[Charlotte]:

more

[Supdaily]:

We're talking

[Charlotte]:

people.

[Supdaily]:

about that.

[Charlotte]:

But I think I had a... There was a question that I got. That I digressed immediately into. Instead of... Because I always start backwards. I start answering at the end of things. And then I get to the point in the end.

[Supdaily]:

Now I don't know. I'm, we are lost in

[Charlotte]:

It's

[Supdaily]:

the sauce

[Charlotte]:

my

[Supdaily]:

together.

[Charlotte]:

fault.

[Supdaily]:

I have no idea what's happening at this point. No, no, we're, this is my, I'm running this interview. I should have it together. I've done

[Charlotte]:

Yes,

[Supdaily]:

pretty

[Charlotte]:

you're

[Supdaily]:

well.

[Charlotte]:

doing them.

[Supdaily]:

Give me some credit of bringing us back,

[Charlotte]:

Yeah,

[Supdaily]:

but this

[Charlotte]:

but

[Supdaily]:

time I think

[Charlotte]:

you know

[Supdaily]:

it might

[Charlotte]:

what?

[Supdaily]:

be gone.

[Charlotte]:

I think you're actually...

[Supdaily]:

But it's gonna mess with you, isn't

[Charlotte]:

No,

[Supdaily]:

it,

[Charlotte]:

no, but I mean, I'm

[Supdaily]:

if

[Charlotte]:

so

[Supdaily]:

we try to

[Charlotte]:

used

[Supdaily]:

move

[Charlotte]:

to

[Supdaily]:

on.

[Charlotte]:

this, that I do this, that I've just had to... I mean, this is why I have... Social anxiety hangover like this like what did I say? What did I say? Why did I there was something I wanted to say and I didn't say it and now it's probably sound so stupid and I didn't say it and then I start and I Ruminating about it for years years. Yes years. I still think

[Supdaily]:

years. What can you

[Charlotte]:

Nothing.

[Supdaily]:

do to release yourself

[Charlotte]:

I, I,

[Supdaily]:

of that?

[Charlotte]:

oh else. Yes, I suffer for years.

[Supdaily]:

You just suffer for

[Charlotte]:

I do.

[Supdaily]:

years? Oh

[Charlotte]:

But

[Supdaily]:

no!

[Charlotte]:

sometimes

[Supdaily]:

That's awful!

[Charlotte]:

I actually remember something that I was going to say and I tell it to the person and it's been years. Actually.

[Supdaily]:

So what how would someone do you have a story that where that actually happened?

[Charlotte]:

Oh gosh, no, not that I can think of, but I know that I could.

[Supdaily]:

Like what would someone's reaction be when like they haven't thought about that conversation in years and then you are like, you finally bring it to conclusion? Do people just kind of like, do people really remember that conversation? Or have they just,

[Charlotte]:

It just, for

[Supdaily]:

they just

[Charlotte]:

me,

[Supdaily]:

look at

[Charlotte]:

I

[Supdaily]:

you

[Charlotte]:

feel

[Supdaily]:

weird?

[Charlotte]:

like

[Supdaily]:

Like

[Charlotte]:

it

[Supdaily]:

what

[Charlotte]:

happens

[Supdaily]:

happens?

[Charlotte]:

so often that it's like one of those things that you don't really keep track of when it happens. Like, how often, how many times did you buy milk for the past month? Oh, it's just something that I do. It's part of my thing, you know? It's like, I can't remember how many times I said... It's like difficult. But yeah, how... Sometimes I guess if I start to become very detailed like that, because we have very good long-term memory, autistic people, but quite shit short-term memory. So I start to remember these things like hours or... days or weeks or years later I start remembering these things. It's so freaky because that's what people with Alzheimer's do, you know? They start remembering they're

[Supdaily]:

Hmm.

[Charlotte]:

like going back into childhood. So I've been really freaked out and thinking like, oh, I must be. Maybe I have some sort of like holes in my brain. That's why this kid. No, but yeah, that's a digression again. Damn it. That's.

[Supdaily]:

That's okay. You're you're free

[Charlotte]:

Now I

[Supdaily]:

to

[Charlotte]:

started

[Supdaily]:

do this

[Charlotte]:

talking

[Supdaily]:

is

[Charlotte]:

about

[Supdaily]:

this

[Charlotte]:

holes

[Supdaily]:

is our interview

[Charlotte]:

in my

[Supdaily]:

time.

[Charlotte]:

brain.

[Supdaily]:

So if you digress Yeah. But but like, so I noticed that when you do kind of like

[Charlotte]:

Yeah,

[Supdaily]:

squirrel

[Charlotte]:

yeah.

[Supdaily]:

in a certain direction, that's what I call it. I do that all the time. Just squirrel. Like I'm talking about this. And then I watch you kind

[Charlotte]:

Yeah,

[Supdaily]:

of beat yourself up a little

[Charlotte]:

because

[Supdaily]:

bit over it. Why do you

[Charlotte]:

I

[Supdaily]:

do

[Charlotte]:

know

[Supdaily]:

that?

[Charlotte]:

I had something interesting I wanted to say that was much more important, so why did I self-sabotage myself by digressing? Because the other thing I wanted to say was also quite interesting, but I cannot really make a choice between the two.

[Supdaily]:

Mm hmm. So it's

[Charlotte]:

Yeah.

[Supdaily]:

less it's just frustrating.

[Charlotte]:

Yeah.

[Supdaily]:

It's got to be immensely frustrating because you had this

[Charlotte]:

Hmm.

[Supdaily]:

this concept that you wanted to

[Charlotte]:

Yeah!

[Supdaily]:

portray. And now it's just like, and if you if you need to message me like, within the next five years about this conversation, I will

[Charlotte]:

Thank

[Supdaily]:

I will

[Charlotte]:

you.

[Supdaily]:

remember it's been recorded,

[Charlotte]:

That is

[Supdaily]:

so

[Charlotte]:

amazing.

[Supdaily]:

I can go

[Charlotte]:

Thank

[Supdaily]:

back

[Charlotte]:

you.

[Supdaily]:

and reference it.

[Charlotte]:

Wow. Yeah, come to think of

[Supdaily]:

Yeah.

[Charlotte]:

it. That's a good, good... way to think of it. Come to think of it, that's a good way to think of it.

[Supdaily]:

Yeah.

[Charlotte]:

It was complex.

[Supdaily]:

Yeah, I have a few questions

[Charlotte]:

Oh, oh

[Supdaily]:

from

[Charlotte]:

yeah.

[Supdaily]:

some of my viewers if you're down to answer. Are you down for that? So if you guys ever want to ask questions to a guest, patreon.com slash unfiltered friends, that's where you get a lot of the behind the scenes. Liz wants to know what are some of the positives about autism

[Charlotte]:

Well,

[Supdaily]:

in your perspective?

[Charlotte]:

I feel like feeling like very self-centered if I answer like egotistical. Is it? Yeah, okay, so it's impossible.

[Supdaily]:

This is about you. The egotistical part, no one here is judging you.

[Charlotte]:

Okay. Okay,

[Supdaily]:

No

[Charlotte]:

so

[Supdaily]:

one

[Charlotte]:

I'm

[Supdaily]:

thinks

[Charlotte]:

gonna sound

[Supdaily]:

we're trying

[Charlotte]:

like

[Supdaily]:

to learn

[Charlotte]:

I

[Supdaily]:

from

[Charlotte]:

really

[Supdaily]:

you.

[Charlotte]:

love myself

[Supdaily]:

You are the focus.

[Charlotte]:

now then, because it's like a positive part about autism. Okay, so yeah, but like in

[Supdaily]:

You know

[Charlotte]:

a

[Supdaily]:

it's okay

[Charlotte]:

narcissistic

[Supdaily]:

to love yourself,

[Charlotte]:

way.

[Supdaily]:

right?

[Charlotte]:

That's what I, oh, that's the word I was looking for. I'm

[Supdaily]:

You're

[Charlotte]:

afraid

[Supdaily]:

not a narcissist.

[Charlotte]:

it's gonna sound narcissistic, like narcissus looking at his own reflection in the the pond. Okay, so um, the... attention to detail is pretty neat I guess. Well

[Supdaily]:

Mm-hmm.

[Charlotte]:

I can only speak for myself so I'm gonna say me and I. Okay so my ability

[Supdaily]:

Mm-hmm.

[Charlotte]:

to empathize with other people I feel is on another level and that's because I'm autistic.

[Supdaily]:

Mm-hmm.

[Charlotte]:

Because I... have... Okay, so because I never fit in growing up, I sat on the sidelines watching and observing and I was a wallflower and I became very, very good at observing people and this has made me very, very empathetic as well. So I guess there's a silver lining there to having been very lonely and bullied and alone and on the sidelines wallflowering and all that. It's not for nothing because it does help me connect with people now later I guess in like I mean earlier in life it didn't really help me much they just misunderstood me. One time

[Supdaily]:

Mm-hmm.

[Charlotte]:

a girl was crying when I was 12 years old and I've said this before she was crying and then I licked her face I licked the tears off her face because I thought that what Simba

[Supdaily]:

Oh.

[Charlotte]:

does in Lion King or Simba's mom Nala, Simba they

[Supdaily]:

Mm-hmm.

[Charlotte]:

lick each other's face they're cats so because I was still on the cartoons and animation movies 12 years old so she was crying tears and I'm like licked her face that was my way of showing empathy when I was 12 but of course that did not go so well. I was just seen as so yeah

[Supdaily]:

Go well,

[Charlotte]:

I guess

[Supdaily]:

yeah.

[Charlotte]:

now when I there's been a few years I've adjusted my ability for empathy.

[Supdaily]:

Because people see

[Charlotte]:

Mm.

[Supdaily]:

what you did,

[Charlotte]:

Mm. Yeah.

[Supdaily]:

not the mentality behind it. Like, I will admit, I heard I

[Charlotte]:

Ahahaha!

[Supdaily]:

licked someone's face and I was like, whoa, but then I heard

[Charlotte]:

Yes.

[Supdaily]:

I was mimicking

[Charlotte]:

Yeah.

[Supdaily]:

a loving action I saw in a movie. And I was like, oh,

[Charlotte]:

Yes.

[Supdaily]:

that makes sense. And people are missing

[Charlotte]:

Yeah.

[Supdaily]:

that part of it. So I can imagine that's like, wait, that's probably what you're talking about earlier. We're like, wait, no, this is what

[Charlotte]:

Yes,

[Supdaily]:

I'm you didn't let me get

[Charlotte]:

yes,

[Supdaily]:

to the part where I

[Charlotte]:

that's

[Supdaily]:

explain.

[Charlotte]:

the thing because I always

[Supdaily]:

Yeah.

[Charlotte]:

start in the end and like I almost talk backwards like they do in Japan, you know, in Japan they speak from the end of the sentence to the beginning. Yeah, so That

[Supdaily]:

Yeah.

[Charlotte]:

is neat about being autistic, that I am very empathetic, so anyone who has me in their life shall be lucky, because I'm so attentive and empathetic that oh my god, maybe it will

[Supdaily]:

Mm-hmm.

[Charlotte]:

become feeling like burdensome. I mean... I think sometimes, yeah, it can be feeling like... too much, I guess, if people are too empathetic and too attentive. So I need to work on that too, I guess.

[Supdaily]:

I'm wondering if this phrase will help you in the same way that it helped me. Whenever someone says to, you're to this, you're to that,

[Charlotte]:

Yeah,

[Supdaily]:

they

[Charlotte]:

yeah,

[Supdaily]:

mean for them,

[Charlotte]:

yeah that does

[Supdaily]:

not

[Charlotte]:

help.

[Supdaily]:

for everybody.

[Charlotte]:

Yeah, so, but...

[Supdaily]:

Yeah.

[Charlotte]:

Yes.

[Supdaily]:

I feel like you've been told so much your

[Charlotte]:

Hmm.

[Supdaily]:

whole life that there's so much wrong with you. And

[Charlotte]:

Yeah.

[Supdaily]:

I feel like you've really absorbed it as truth when it's

[Charlotte]:

Oh,

[Supdaily]:

really just people's

[Charlotte]:

yeah.

[Supdaily]:

opinion on yourself, which still hurts, but it's just like, if these people are going to talk to you this way, if they're gonna treat you this way, like you're just this

[Charlotte]:

Yeah.

[Supdaily]:

like broken, messed up thing, then those are people that just need to go away, but that doesn't

[Charlotte]:

That

[Supdaily]:

mean

[Charlotte]:

sounds

[Supdaily]:

you need

[Charlotte]:

so

[Supdaily]:

to fix

[Charlotte]:

kind.

[Supdaily]:

anything. Does

[Charlotte]:

Yes,

[Supdaily]:

that make sense?

[Charlotte]:

I like it. That's lovely. And how it should be. Yeah.

[Supdaily]:

I think you could have those connections. I think you can. But I think you've been so bombarded with so much negativity that it's kind of colored the truth of the people who are on. There's people like me who wouldn't do any

[Charlotte]:

Mm.

[Supdaily]:

of the things that you're talking about. And I bet you the more you open up to that idea,

[Charlotte]:

Yeah,

[Supdaily]:

the more wonderful

[Charlotte]:

and I feel

[Supdaily]:

people

[Charlotte]:

like

[Supdaily]:

will

[Charlotte]:

I've

[Supdaily]:

come into

[Charlotte]:

just

[Supdaily]:

your life.

[Charlotte]:

started experiencing these wonderful people coming into my life for the first time in my life. Now, after I was diagnosed and found this community and all of that. But other things that are positive about being

[Supdaily]:

Yeah.

[Charlotte]:

autistic is the creativity. seeing all the solutions, that's what I do. I just love problem solving. I just won't take no for an answer. I will try and find the solution.

[Supdaily]:

That's great.

[Charlotte]:

That's a good

[Supdaily]:

Yeah.

[Charlotte]:

thing about being autistic. Empathy, also the analytical thinking, which I think the critical thinking, critical thinking is so cool. I don't understand why people don't like that.

[Supdaily]:

Mm-hmm.

[Charlotte]:

And what was I saying? The empathy, the... the creativity and...

[Supdaily]:

Yeah,

[Charlotte]:

Lulululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululul

[Supdaily]:

just the way that you view things. I mean, I remember seeing Temple Grandin. Have you seen that movie? Oh, you're where are you right now? Where'd you go? Where'd you go?

[Charlotte]:

Yes, I was

[Supdaily]:

Other positives?

[Charlotte]:

on my way to just to number it all up quickly

[Supdaily]:

point.

[Charlotte]:

and be more...

[Supdaily]:

Does

[Charlotte]:

No,

[Supdaily]:

it need to be

[Charlotte]:

no,

[Supdaily]:

a certain

[Charlotte]:

no,

[Supdaily]:

number?

[Charlotte]:

but I wanted to stop embellishing on so deeply on each thing and just like get like just Ramse like no, what is it in English? This I said it in Norwegian. A Ramse, that's like... putting it up in a row. No, what is that? Okay, so yeah, let's, I gotta. It's actually also a pretty good thing, I think, that I'm highly sensitive because I can hear the fire alarm go off in my upstairs neighbor. Upstairs neighbor? How do I say it? Yeah. Yes, when

[Supdaily]:

Mm hmm.

[Charlotte]:

he was drunk

[Supdaily]:

Upstairs

[Charlotte]:

and

[Supdaily]:

neighbor.

[Charlotte]:

asleep... He was sleeping through a pizza burning in his oven in his tiny apartment and he slept

[Supdaily]:

Ha ha.

[Charlotte]:

with that fire alarm going off and I called, I don't know, I don't know.

[Supdaily]:

How?

[Charlotte]:

I have no idea but I was

[Supdaily]:

How?

[Charlotte]:

the only one in the entire building who could hear that fire alarm and I even, I mean, I hear it through a concrete floor in a massive building and I called

[Supdaily]:

Yeah.

[Charlotte]:

the fire department and they had to like, almost kick in his door to the... Maybe they did kick in, but

[Supdaily]:

Was

[Charlotte]:

he was

[Supdaily]:

he sedated

[Charlotte]:

drunk. He

[Supdaily]:

or

[Charlotte]:

was

[Supdaily]:

something?

[Charlotte]:

drunk.

[Supdaily]:

How do you sleep through all of that?

[Charlotte]:

But still

[Supdaily]:

Oh, yeah,

[Charlotte]:

they

[Supdaily]:

yeah.

[Charlotte]:

said he was asleep and the apartment was filled with black smoke from...

[Supdaily]:

Yeah.

[Charlotte]:

In the oven there was this charcoal pizza. So I guess like it's... Yeah, kind

[Supdaily]:

Yeah,

[Charlotte]:

of.

[Supdaily]:

you saved him.

[Charlotte]:

A-

[Supdaily]:

You probably saved a lot of people because

[Charlotte]:

Yeah,

[Supdaily]:

if that because

[Charlotte]:

oh gosh.

[Supdaily]:

you're all in the same

[Charlotte]:

Oh

[Supdaily]:

building.

[Charlotte]:

like that saved

[Supdaily]:

So

[Charlotte]:

a lot

[Supdaily]:

if his

[Charlotte]:

of people.

[Supdaily]:

catches

[Charlotte]:

Yeah.

[Supdaily]:

fire.

[Charlotte]:

Oh gosh. Yeah No, I think

[Supdaily]:

Yes.

[Charlotte]:

there's like fireproof walls, so he would have just been charcoaled Burned up

[Supdaily]:

Not everything in an apartment. I'm gonna

[Charlotte]:

Ha

[Supdaily]:

continue

[Charlotte]:

ha

[Supdaily]:

to

[Charlotte]:

ha!

[Supdaily]:

give you credit whether you accept it or not. Because of your sensitivity, you were able to bring someone into

[Charlotte]:

Oh

[Supdaily]:

it. He

[Charlotte]:

gosh,

[Supdaily]:

could have died

[Charlotte]:

yeah,

[Supdaily]:

of smoke

[Charlotte]:

that's

[Supdaily]:

inhalation.

[Charlotte]:

true.

[Supdaily]:

It could have spread.

[Charlotte]:

Oh, that's good. So

[Supdaily]:

Yeah,

[Charlotte]:

those

[Supdaily]:

you

[Charlotte]:

things

[Supdaily]:

did a good

[Charlotte]:

that

[Supdaily]:

thing.

[Charlotte]:

may seem like they are a burden to me are actually pretty good in handy and because yeah, I'm like a dog. I can hear, I can hear

[Supdaily]:

Yeah.

[Charlotte]:

the sirens from a far away. Like, can

[Supdaily]:

Heh.

[Charlotte]:

you hear that? Like, and the

[Supdaily]:

Yeah.

[Charlotte]:

people are like, what?

[Supdaily]:

Nope. Hmm.

[Charlotte]:

And then, ah, it's an elect... electrical circuit shortage is going to happen soon. I could just hear that and like, oh, good. Averted

[Supdaily]:

Yeah.

[Charlotte]:

disaster. So that's pretty neat. I have some pretty neat

[Supdaily]:

Yeah,

[Charlotte]:

skills

[Supdaily]:

that is

[Charlotte]:

like

[Supdaily]:

neat.

[Charlotte]:

that. Or I can smell if something is burning. Also when it comes to burn stuff. stuff that is burned, not just hearing fire lines but just smelling stuff that is burning long before anyone else smells it. Or etc

[Supdaily]:

Mm-hmm.

[Charlotte]:

etc. And um... Yeah, but it's not very neat if somebody can't help smelling and they stink. Then it's a burden.

[Supdaily]:

I can't be around

[Charlotte]:

Yeah.

[Supdaily]:

people who don't, who smell bad. It's like, is the smell as well as like,

[Charlotte]:

Mm.

[Supdaily]:

I can't stand the sound of chewing. I literally, I like, I'm inconsolable. I have

[Charlotte]:

that's

[Supdaily]:

to

[Charlotte]:

Misophonia.

[Supdaily]:

either like leave the room or plug my ears my entire life. Yes, it is. And it's

[Charlotte]:

Yeah.

[Supdaily]:

not fun because people have to chew

[Charlotte]:

Ah!

[Supdaily]:

to eat. But if they chew in a certain way, I just

[Charlotte]:

What way?

[Supdaily]:

get filled with rage. Just

[Charlotte]:

What way

[Supdaily]:

like,

[Charlotte]:

does?

[Supdaily]:

what do you mean? I don't know just loud like loud if it sounds like smacky and loud like they're not cool. Yeah, I just like

[Charlotte]:

Oh.

[Supdaily]:

my poor mother. I love her dearly. She's probably listening to this. But like she has kind of like a shorter upper lip and will cause her to smack her food a little bit more. And I will be at the dinner

[Charlotte]:

Oh.

[Supdaily]:

table

[Charlotte]:

Oh.

[Supdaily]:

just like rocking back and forth and like

[Charlotte]:

See

[Supdaily]:

holding

[Charlotte]:

ya.

[Supdaily]:

my ears. I love you, Mom. OK, I'm not judging you,

[Charlotte]:

Yes.

[Supdaily]:

but you know that drives me nuts. You know,

[Charlotte]:

Hmm.

[Supdaily]:

I can't help it. It's just like we all have our things

[Charlotte]:

Mm-hmm.

[Supdaily]:

and. So the smell I'm very sensitive to. So like if you smell good, it's like,

[Charlotte]:

Yeah.

[Supdaily]:

if you smell bad, it's like, you know, it's tough. It's like, it's

[Charlotte]:

Yes,

[Supdaily]:

a high,

[Charlotte]:

yes,

[Supdaily]:

it's

[Charlotte]:

yes.

[Supdaily]:

like a

[Charlotte]:

The smell

[Supdaily]:

overload.

[Charlotte]:

thing is a big one for me as well. And I can't even feel attracted to people. Like

[Supdaily]:

Mm-mm.

[Charlotte]:

my first boyfriend, I was with him just because I thought I should have a boyfriend. He was... nice to me so okay let's be boyfriend girlfriend but then I discovered I feel like he smells strange everybody think he smells nice he smelled nice but I'm talking on like a biological level like I can I can smell his testicles like like his his testy power or whatever and that we're not a match or whatever like

[Supdaily]:

Yeah,

[Charlotte]:

yeah

[Supdaily]:

it's a sign that you're

[Charlotte]:

Yes,

[Supdaily]:

not a good chemical

[Charlotte]:

but

[Supdaily]:

match for each other if you don't

[Charlotte]:

also

[Supdaily]:

like their

[Charlotte]:

I've

[Supdaily]:

smell.

[Charlotte]:

been like dating guys who are like, oh, you smell so good. And I would be like, oh, but you don't. But I couldn't say, you know, like, I can't say it like, oh, but oh,

[Supdaily]:

But

[Charlotte]:

God,

[Supdaily]:

you can!

[Charlotte]:

I can't. You know.

[Supdaily]:

What is

[Charlotte]:

so

[Supdaily]:

dating

[Charlotte]:

difficult.

[Supdaily]:

like on the spectrum?

[Charlotte]:

I mean

[Supdaily]:

What is difficult

[Charlotte]:

it's

[Supdaily]:

about it?

[Charlotte]:

like I don't really understand when somebody is flirting with me and It has to go very, very, very far before I understand that they're interested in me. Like, you have to like literally like grab my face and like, I like you. Can I kiss you? Like, like really? Like I cannot.

[Supdaily]:

Hahaha

[Charlotte]:

I will. They will sit like, ah, you're cute. Ah, you're so cute. And I still don't understand. I think that's just what people say to each other.

[Supdaily]:

Yeah.

[Charlotte]:

Like I wouldn't be like, I. And here I sit here and

[Supdaily]:

Hmm

[Charlotte]:

I say that, but I, when I'm in that situation, I just... Maybe I have some sort of... Some... What is it called? This... You don't really see yourself to deserve anyone or anything. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I

[Supdaily]:

You struggle with worthiness.

[Charlotte]:

never really. Yeah,

[Supdaily]:

You just assume they're

[Charlotte]:

also

[Supdaily]:

not

[Charlotte]:

the

[Supdaily]:

interested

[Charlotte]:

people

[Supdaily]:

in you.

[Charlotte]:

that I'm always

[Supdaily]:

Yeah.

[Charlotte]:

interested in are never interested in me so I... Yeah.

[Supdaily]:

Well, what's interesting is I actually talked about that two podcasts ago, we talked about the healing stages of women. And we actually got into that

[Charlotte]:

Yeah,

[Supdaily]:

subject. That might be an interesting

[Charlotte]:

I would love

[Supdaily]:

podcast

[Charlotte]:

it.

[Supdaily]:

for you to listen to. We speak specifically about not seeing yourself as worthy of being flirted

[Charlotte]:

Mm.

[Supdaily]:

with and why you go for people who

[Charlotte]:

Yeah,

[Supdaily]:

aren't reciprocating

[Charlotte]:

uh,

[Supdaily]:

the way that you feel.

[Charlotte]:

yeah, yeah,

[Supdaily]:

Yeah. I'll

[Charlotte]:

yeah,

[Supdaily]:

send it to you if you're interested

[Charlotte]:

so that, um,

[Supdaily]:

in learning more. Yeah.

[Charlotte]:

I think. Oh yeah, it's

[Supdaily]:

How do you flirt?

[Charlotte]:

awkward.

[Supdaily]:

Like when you flirt, yeah, what do you say?

[Charlotte]:

There's...

[Supdaily]:

How do you let someone know that you're interested

[Charlotte]:

Well, there's

[Supdaily]:

in them? Or

[Charlotte]:

this

[Supdaily]:

you just

[Charlotte]:

thing

[Supdaily]:

say, hey,

[Charlotte]:

that

[Supdaily]:

I'm

[Charlotte]:

has

[Supdaily]:

interested

[Charlotte]:

gone around

[Supdaily]:

in you?

[Charlotte]:

viral on social media, like when I'm flirting and what others see and... Have you seen those kind of funny reels? Like... So...

[Supdaily]:

No.

[Charlotte]:

There's this... There's been so many versions of that made now. But it's... Huh?

[Supdaily]:

Info dumping is definitely one of the ways that I

[Charlotte]:

Oh!

[Supdaily]:

flirt. Info dumping,

[Charlotte]:

Oh really?

[Supdaily]:

I'll just start trying to teach you about something, like I'm obsessed with clouds and I will start talking about all the different cloud formations and what they mean for future weather.

[Charlotte]:

Oh

[Supdaily]:

And like,

[Charlotte]:

no!

[Supdaily]:

if I'm telling you that it's cause I'm trying to share something I'm passionate about. And sometimes people don't,

[Charlotte]:

Oh

[Supdaily]:

people

[Charlotte]:

wow,

[Supdaily]:

just see that as weird

[Charlotte]:

that's

[Supdaily]:

instead of flirting,

[Charlotte]:

kind of,

[Supdaily]:

but you know, whatever.

[Charlotte]:

that's charming. Hmm.

[Supdaily]:

But that's what I'm kind of saying with the people that you interact with. Like if you interact with the right

[Charlotte]:

Mm.

[Supdaily]:

people, you showing up as yourself won't be something that will bother them. They'll embrace

[Charlotte]:

Oh,

[Supdaily]:

it and

[Charlotte]:

I

[Supdaily]:

love

[Charlotte]:

actually

[Supdaily]:

that about

[Charlotte]:

now

[Supdaily]:

you.

[Charlotte]:

I I remember last time I flirted with someone it was and it was so Strange

[Supdaily]:

Okay.

[Charlotte]:

but it was this Japanese pop star and He will never listen to this so it's okay, it's okay I can say it and Nobody

[Supdaily]:

Okay,

[Charlotte]:

I mean we live in

[Supdaily]:

okay,

[Charlotte]:

two separate

[Supdaily]:

we can

[Charlotte]:

worlds.

[Supdaily]:

go.

[Charlotte]:

He said he's a J-pop star so Yeah

[Supdaily]:

And you are in the Korean drama

[Charlotte]:

No,

[Supdaily]:

world, not J-pop,

[Charlotte]:

but I mean

[Supdaily]:

okay?

[Charlotte]:

we lived

[Supdaily]:

Let's get

[Charlotte]:

in the

[Supdaily]:

that

[Charlotte]:

same

[Supdaily]:

right, and that's way different.

[Charlotte]:

place in Bangkok last year and he was with his

[Supdaily]:

Mm-hmm.

[Charlotte]:

J-pop group and I mean I in the beginning I wouldn't like notice that he hung around me like by the pool or whatever and so now that I think about it I'm like oh Oh, is that what he was actually like trying to get my attention

[Supdaily]:

Mm-hmm.

[Charlotte]:

and I was like I didn't even

[Supdaily]:

Yeah.

[Charlotte]:

like notice at all. But no, no, no, not not until

[Supdaily]:

but you were interested

[Charlotte]:

I

[Supdaily]:

in

[Charlotte]:

found

[Supdaily]:

him?

[Charlotte]:

out that he was interested in me. So but this was this isn't serious stuff. This was just like kind of like very like just flirt, you know, flirting thing. But then.

[Supdaily]:

Mm-hmm.

[Charlotte]:

We talk in the elevator a little bit. It's not very good in English, you know? So it's like a lot of face talking and smiling and all of that. So,

[Supdaily]:

Yeah.

[Charlotte]:

but I'm saying like, oh no, no, no. I always go to the roof. The roof is the best place. Yeah, I can't stand being, the pool is too noisy. Yeah, I'm on my way to the roof. Bye. And then I go up there and I pull off my shirt and... everything and I lay myself out there like because I'm usually all alone always up on the roof nobody there to watch me and I can

[Supdaily]:

Mm-hmm.

[Charlotte]:

get sweaty and nasty and then suddenly this Japanese pop star guy comes walking up like I'm like ah like he actually like came up after

[Supdaily]:

Oops!

[Charlotte]:

I was like just I just randomly small talked in the elevator but I think maybe that was like an invitation to like, hey, so I'm on the roof. But I didn't realize that I was doing that.

[Supdaily]:

Yeah. Maybe subconsciously

[Charlotte]:

Well,

[Supdaily]:

you were like trying to flirt

[Charlotte]:

I

[Supdaily]:

with

[Charlotte]:

don't,

[Supdaily]:

him

[Charlotte]:

maybe,

[Supdaily]:

or?

[Charlotte]:

I don't know.

[Supdaily]:

Well, if you're used to alone time, you're inviting somebody into that alone time. That

[Charlotte]:

But

[Supdaily]:

is

[Charlotte]:

still I didn't

[Supdaily]:

a sign

[Charlotte]:

understand

[Supdaily]:

of interest, right?

[Charlotte]:

that he was interested in me. I was more... I'm just realizing it now that my communication led to him coming up to the roof and then asking for my number and as I was like just sitting there in my darn bikini feeling super awkward with no makeup and just sweat

[Supdaily]:

Mm-hmm.

[Charlotte]:

dripping everywhere.

[Supdaily]:

Mm-hmm.

[Charlotte]:

I was nasty, I don't understand. He was like this beautiful pop star. And I'm like, he's sitting there, sweating, literally, in the Bangkok heat, sweating, running.

[Supdaily]:

Yeah. But it sounds like that's how you view you're viewing yourself in that situation,

[Charlotte]:

Yeah,

[Supdaily]:

not how

[Charlotte]:

I

[Supdaily]:

he's

[Charlotte]:

don't know,

[Supdaily]:

viewing

[Charlotte]:

it was so

[Supdaily]:

you

[Charlotte]:

funny.

[Supdaily]:

in that situation. You know, like you're thinking you're

[Charlotte]:

Yes!

[Supdaily]:

nasty, he probably thought you were a glistening

[Charlotte]:

Listen. The

[Supdaily]:

golden bikini goddess.

[Charlotte]:

funny.

[Supdaily]:

Like, that was it really is like the different perspective. There's actually a question that Yvonne wanted to ask about, do you know about rejection sensitivity

[Charlotte]:

Yeah,

[Supdaily]:

disorder?

[Charlotte]:

I do. Yes. So that's also like when... Yeah, it can also be related to the dating scene, obviously. Well, first

[Supdaily]:

Can

[Charlotte]:

I

[Supdaily]:

you

[Charlotte]:

want

[Supdaily]:

explain

[Charlotte]:

to finish

[Supdaily]:

it to me?

[Charlotte]:

the funny story. No.

[Supdaily]:

Yes, sorry, I did it again,

[Charlotte]:

But

[Supdaily]:

continue.

[Charlotte]:

first I need to get to the funny part of... Yeah,

[Supdaily]:

So the Japanese

[Charlotte]:

well,

[Supdaily]:

guy asked for your phone number,

[Charlotte]:

no,

[Supdaily]:

you're glistening

[Charlotte]:

uh,

[Supdaily]:

and

[Charlotte]:

he

[Supdaily]:

sweaty

[Charlotte]:

asked for my

[Supdaily]:

on the

[Charlotte]:

line.

[Supdaily]:

roof.

[Charlotte]:

If I'm online, you know, you know, line the app. Oh, so you have WhatsApp, I guess,

[Supdaily]:

No.

[Charlotte]:

in the West. But here in Asia, everybody uses something called Line.

[Supdaily]:

Mm-hmm.

[Charlotte]:

It's a, yeah, it's like a green app. L-I-N-E,

[Supdaily]:

line. Okay.

[Charlotte]:

Line. They use it in Japan and Thailand, like everywhere.

[Supdaily]:

Okay.

[Charlotte]:

Korea. So, it's like, do you have Line? I'm like, yeah, sure, I have Line, yeah. And then we connect them Line, and it's just sitting there. talking to me for like an hour. I'm like what the heck he's like sitting here talking to me and then how do I flirt? I'm more like whoops that sounded like a fart. Oh yeah goofy like like

[Supdaily]:

So Goofy,

[Charlotte]:

uh-oh uh-oh

[Supdaily]:

you said you're a clown. When

[Charlotte]:

I

[Supdaily]:

you're

[Charlotte]:

didn't

[Supdaily]:

not masking,

[Charlotte]:

fart there.

[Supdaily]:

you're like a clown.

[Charlotte]:

I do the most dumb

[Supdaily]:

hahahaha

[Charlotte]:

shit. And then... So I think I was just sitting up there doing that. And then he's like messaging me, Oh, I want to like, let's hang out or something. And I'm like, okay, I'm ordering pizza. Do you want pizza? And he's like, okay. And then meet on the roof on some evening. And then we're eating some pizza, like just some... Pizza Hut pizza, I think, because it was like difficult to get pizza that time of day. And then

[Supdaily]:

Mm-hmm.

[Charlotte]:

we're sitting up there eating that pizza and then he's like asking me, so are you a model? Like, huh? No, I'm not a model. What the heck? Like these weird things. And then I don't realize until after that meeting that he was maybe a bit. interested in me, like, yeah, because not until he actually texted me, I want to come to your room. That's when I started suspecting it.

[Supdaily]:

Mmm.

[Charlotte]:

I was like, hmmm...

[Supdaily]:

I bet you do, it's popular.

[Charlotte]:

But then do you know what I said?

[Supdaily]:

It's

[Charlotte]:

Why

[Supdaily]:

a hot

[Charlotte]:

do

[Supdaily]:

spot,

[Charlotte]:

you want to

[Supdaily]:

but

[Charlotte]:

come

[Supdaily]:

no.

[Charlotte]:

to my room?

[Supdaily]:

Oh,

[Charlotte]:

And

[Supdaily]:

he's trying to

[Charlotte]:

because

[Supdaily]:

flirt

[Charlotte]:

we're

[Supdaily]:

with you

[Charlotte]:

neighbors,

[Supdaily]:

like, bye.

[Charlotte]:

we're living in here, there's nowhere else to go. We can go to the conference room or I mean, like we can go to my living room or also it's really bad in English. So it sounds more direct, you know, like when you say like, Japanese, so it's like, I want to come to your room.

[Supdaily]:

Mm-hmm.

[Charlotte]:

It's like, oh, wow, that's straightforward. But it's also like with culture shock, I guess, because.

[Supdaily]:

I think that's pretty direct. I think there's

[Charlotte]:

But

[Supdaily]:

very little

[Charlotte]:

yeah,

[Supdaily]:

way to

[Charlotte]:

so

[Supdaily]:

interpret

[Charlotte]:

but

[Supdaily]:

that

[Charlotte]:

anyway, I think

[Supdaily]:

in a different

[Charlotte]:

I

[Supdaily]:

way.

[Charlotte]:

said, I'm going to do laundry. Do you want to meet me in the laundry room and do laundry? Ha ha ha. Yes!

[Supdaily]:

Hahaha,

[Charlotte]:

So you see how awkward

[Supdaily]:

romance!

[Charlotte]:

I am? And then he said, okay. And then...

[Supdaily]:

Yeah, it's a look. I'm a quality time person. So like, it doesn't matter

[Charlotte]:

Yeah,

[Supdaily]:

what we're

[Charlotte]:

but

[Supdaily]:

doing

[Charlotte]:

then

[Supdaily]:

as long

[Charlotte]:

I mean

[Supdaily]:

as

[Charlotte]:

like

[Supdaily]:

I'm spending time

[Charlotte]:

meeting this guy in the laundry room and then I noticed that like oh he looks a lot younger than me So I said hey, I'm a lot older than you I think so also super charming I'm like oh that fart sounds oh do you want to go do laundry? Oh

[Supdaily]:

Mm-hmm.

[Charlotte]:

I'm really old Like and then he's like how old? I mean trying to guess it's like 30 I'm like no I'm older it's like

[Supdaily]:

No. HUUUH!

[Charlotte]:

no but

[Supdaily]:

Yeah, he doesn't

[Charlotte]:

anyway

[Supdaily]:

care.

[Charlotte]:

whenever he's in my room though by the way he doesn't touch me because you know Japanese people they're so polite so it's perfect for me perfect Because I don't want to be touched, like not like immediately because

[Supdaily]:

Mm-hmm.

[Charlotte]:

it's like so awkward. I don't know what to do. If he would touch me, I would if he would

[Supdaily]:

Mm-hmm.

[Charlotte]:

touch me, I would be like, ah, touch. He. Yeah, like. Yeah. Yeah.

[Supdaily]:

Yeah, like turn it into a joke.

[Charlotte]:

So, I mean, we were just like sitting,

[Supdaily]:

Yeah.

[Charlotte]:

hanging out and like, like, like that for really,

[Supdaily]:

Hehehehe

[Charlotte]:

really long. And I don't know. It's like... Yeah, that's so funny. But yeah. That was last year. It's the last...

[Supdaily]:

Mm-hmm.

[Charlotte]:

I don't think I'm ever gonna flirt again for a really long time. Because it was painful.

[Supdaily]:

I think, yeah, I mean, just flirt in your way and the right person will vibe with that. Like if someone acts like a goof in front of me, I think the most attractive thing to someone like me is someone showing

[Charlotte]:

Yeah.

[Supdaily]:

up as like their true authentic self. Like I won't judge anybody

[Charlotte]:

Yeah.

[Supdaily]:

for that. As long as they're not being harmful, like purposefully harmful, the right

[Charlotte]:

Hmm.

[Supdaily]:

people will see that and think that that's endearing. You know how many people, you remember, see how it just started rattling off cloud facts? Do you know how many people make fun of me for

[Charlotte]:

Yeah.

[Supdaily]:

that? But some people think it's wonderful, you know? So I just focus on the people who think

[Charlotte]:

But

[Supdaily]:

it's

[Charlotte]:

I'm

[Supdaily]:

wonderful

[Charlotte]:

thinking like

[Supdaily]:

and reject the people

[Charlotte]:

that's

[Supdaily]:

who judge

[Charlotte]:

not

[Supdaily]:

me for

[Charlotte]:

even

[Supdaily]:

it.

[Charlotte]:

like a flirting. That's like an actually interesting thing though. That's like.

[Supdaily]:

Yeah, but I'm

[Charlotte]:

Ah,

[Supdaily]:

giving you that information

[Charlotte]:

yeah.

[Supdaily]:

because I want to impress you with my information.

[Charlotte]:

Yeah.

[Supdaily]:

That's how it's flirting

[Charlotte]:

That's

[Supdaily]:

for me.

[Charlotte]:

that's difficult then to understand.

[Supdaily]:

Mm-hmm. Yep.

[Charlotte]:

Ah, yeah.

[Supdaily]:

I'm a weird

[Charlotte]:

But

[Supdaily]:

one.

[Charlotte]:

the weird is good. There's good weird and there's bad weird, but we're good weird.

[Supdaily]:

My audience is literally called the Twirdos. It's Twitch, which is what I used to live

[Charlotte]:

Weird.

[Supdaily]:

stream on, and Weirdo put together. You can be exactly who you are as long as you're respectful. So we have this group of people, there's a lot of people in my community who are very much looking forward to this interview because they

[Charlotte]:

Oh, wow.

[Supdaily]:

go through a lot of the same stuff that you go through. So they're

[Charlotte]:

Oh, that's

[Supdaily]:

feeling very,

[Charlotte]:

nice.

[Supdaily]:

they're gonna feel very validated by this because I create a space for them to exist where like, yeah, they might think differently, but.

[Charlotte]:

Hmm.

[Supdaily]:

That doesn't mean that they're wrong in the

[Charlotte]:

Yeah,

[Supdaily]:

way that they think, they just think

[Charlotte]:

this

[Supdaily]:

differently.

[Charlotte]:

is not different.

[Supdaily]:

That's it.

[Charlotte]:

I mean, it's not not wrong. I mean, not.

[Supdaily]:

Yeah,

[Charlotte]:

But I there,

[Supdaily]:

it's

[Charlotte]:

yeah,

[Supdaily]:

okay.

[Charlotte]:

I also I forgot to say. We did end up dancing on the floor in the living room to elevator music and stuff. That was also the romantic evening. That's how it ended, like, so, like, dancing to elevator music in each other's corner, like, ha ha ha ha

[Supdaily]:

That's beautiful.

[Charlotte]:

being like...

[Supdaily]:

That's really cute.

[Charlotte]:

I'm like, I'm gonna put on elevator music

[Supdaily]:

Hehehehe

[Charlotte]:

now. I'm like... Yeah, he too, he

[Supdaily]:

But

[Charlotte]:

was

[Supdaily]:

did

[Charlotte]:

laughing

[Supdaily]:

you enjoy yourself?

[Charlotte]:

so much. It was like really fun,

[Supdaily]:

Yeah.

[Charlotte]:

laughing like

[Supdaily]:

Yeah!

[Charlotte]:

kids. Yeah, it was fun. Yeah. And...

[Supdaily]:

Yeah,

[Charlotte]:

The afterwards

[Supdaily]:

I love that.

[Charlotte]:

I found out that he's a professional dancer like jumps around and like super and then I got a little bit embarrassed that I Had

[Supdaily]:

Ah.

[Charlotte]:

danced around like that now. I do that thing again like beat myself up afterwards, but it's not like that It's just like oh shit. It was like actually really good at dancing obviously because it's a pop star. Yeah But yeah, I'll never see him again

[Supdaily]:

Yeah. Oh,

[Charlotte]:

No

[Supdaily]:

you don't know. Shoot him a DM, maybe it'll work

[Charlotte]:

No.

[Supdaily]:

out,

[Charlotte]:

Always

[Supdaily]:

who

[Charlotte]:

TV-able.

[Supdaily]:

knows?

[Charlotte]:

But anyway, yeah, that was a very long story and painful about flirting. Pfft. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

[Supdaily]:

I know, but it was endearing. I actually very much enjoyed it. So thank you so much for giving me your time. I know it took some like coordination to get this going, especially because you're 12 hours ahead of me and me doing the opposite way. I go to sleep way too early for this to work out where I was

[Charlotte]:

But

[Supdaily]:

doing in the

[Charlotte]:

I

[Supdaily]:

evening.

[Charlotte]:

interrupted

[Supdaily]:

I would have

[Charlotte]:

you

[Supdaily]:

been

[Charlotte]:

so badly

[Supdaily]:

falling asleep,

[Charlotte]:

by having

[Supdaily]:

which

[Charlotte]:

to...

[Supdaily]:

is.

[Charlotte]:

Because I wanted to finish my story about this dude. But you had a question.

[Supdaily]:

Yeah, but

[Charlotte]:

Yeah.

[Supdaily]:

that's part of your process, right? Like you just have to like go through it and I'm understanding of that. So it's no issue for me.

[Charlotte]:

But now

[Supdaily]:

I'll

[Charlotte]:

I

[Supdaily]:

take

[Charlotte]:

feel

[Supdaily]:

a

[Charlotte]:

bad

[Supdaily]:

step back

[Charlotte]:

that you

[Supdaily]:

and

[Charlotte]:

didn't get

[Supdaily]:

let

[Charlotte]:

to

[Supdaily]:

you finish your process

[Charlotte]:

ask me

[Supdaily]:

so

[Charlotte]:

finish.

[Supdaily]:

that we can. But you have, but you've

[Charlotte]:

Oh.

[Supdaily]:

given so much and

[Charlotte]:

Are

[Supdaily]:

you've

[Charlotte]:

you finished

[Supdaily]:

taught

[Charlotte]:

now?

[Supdaily]:

me so

[Charlotte]:

You don't

[Supdaily]:

much.

[Charlotte]:

want to ask me anymore? Is that

[Supdaily]:

Um,

[Charlotte]:

a do I don't have time?

[Supdaily]:

we have.

[Charlotte]:

Is it?

[Supdaily]:

I have okay here. Okay. I'm just going to be honest about my mindset.

[Charlotte]:

Okay.

[Supdaily]:

There was one question that I asked that we moved on from because you weren't done with the Japanese story, but I also only have about 15 minutes. So if you can promise that we can finish that in the 15 minutes, we'll do

[Charlotte]:

Oh, we

[Supdaily]:

it

[Charlotte]:

can finish

[Supdaily]:

or we'll

[Charlotte]:

within

[Supdaily]:

wrap

[Charlotte]:

15

[Supdaily]:

it up now.

[Charlotte]:

minutes.

[Supdaily]:

So you

[Charlotte]:

I

[Supdaily]:

tell

[Charlotte]:

just

[Supdaily]:

me.

[Charlotte]:

feel awkward about ending it talking about

[Supdaily]:

Okay.

[Charlotte]:

the Japanese. Dude, I want to talk about something else!

[Supdaily]:

Okay, okay, we won't end it with the J. Plus I can also cut out some of the some of

[Charlotte]:

Not

[Supdaily]:

the

[Charlotte]:

the

[Supdaily]:

Japanese

[Charlotte]:

dancing

[Supdaily]:

dude

[Charlotte]:

part

[Supdaily]:

part so

[Charlotte]:

though.

[Supdaily]:

it's not

[Charlotte]:

That's

[Supdaily]:

so like

[Charlotte]:

fun.

[Supdaily]:

intense. So the okay, I'll leave that in. So one final question was about is from Yvonne who wants to understand about rejection sensitivity disorder. Do you have an understanding

[Charlotte]:

Yeah,

[Supdaily]:

enough to explain about

[Charlotte]:

I feel

[Supdaily]:

RSD?

[Charlotte]:

like that is more common in those with ADHD. It's like this thing where

[Supdaily]:

Mm-hmm.

[Charlotte]:

you feel like you're almost feeling a bit paranoid about people who like everything you hear someone say. Oh my god, did you hear that bird? Yeah, I think there's some

[Supdaily]:

Yes,

[Charlotte]:

bats

[Supdaily]:

was that a bird?

[Charlotte]:

living in my roof. They've made a... they do that at night like... Quack, quack, quack, quack. Yeah, anyway, now the rejection-sensitive dysphoria, they... it's like

[Supdaily]:

Mm-hmm.

[Charlotte]:

everything you hear,

[Supdaily]:

Yeah.

[Charlotte]:

like 70% of what you hear is just negative things no matter what they are saying, even if they're saying something positive. Your brain is just set to hear negative things. And that's when you have dysphoria, because you're not even capable of hearing the good things that are being said to you. And that's the scary, scary part. And it's because you have been, you've been destroyed in your brain, your connections, the way you're thinking. Shit has happened. But the... Some people they get

[Supdaily]:

Mm-hmm.

[Charlotte]:

far too... deep into that rabbit hole

[Supdaily]:

like

[Charlotte]:

and

[Supdaily]:

deep in.

[Charlotte]:

spiral into. So, but it can you can train yourself out of it, of course By little

[Supdaily]:

How?

[Charlotte]:

by little step by step

[Supdaily]:

Mm-hmm.

[Charlotte]:

to realise that it's not easy to realise that when people are saying nice things to you, that they actually mean it. It can be hard to believe, but also that if someone doesn't pick up the phone, for example, it does not mean that they do it intentionally to hurt you, for example. That's what rejection sensitivity dysphoria can feel like. Oh, they must

[Supdaily]:

Mmm.

[Charlotte]:

not have... responded to my message within the first five minutes because they actually don't like me. They do this because obviously I'm a crappy person and nobody likes me. So that's what you feel like all the time when you have rejection sensitivity dysphoria. You just feel like everybody must dislike you or everything about you or do things to avoid. being around you, to avoid be like anything about you really.

[Supdaily]:

Mm-hmm. I mean, I've dealt with that. I think that's like, I think that's not uncommon for people in general to have horrible experiences. And then it's kind of a little bit what I was saying with you is

[Charlotte]:

Hmm.

[Supdaily]:

like, you've had so many negative things said to you

[Charlotte]:

Yeah.

[Supdaily]:

that sometimes you kind of like paint the way that you view the way people, have you felt any time during this interview where I was saying kind things to you that

[Charlotte]:

No,

[Supdaily]:

I wasn't being

[Charlotte]:

no,

[Supdaily]:

genuine?

[Charlotte]:

you're not

[Supdaily]:

Did you struggle

[Charlotte]:

like

[Supdaily]:

with that at

[Charlotte]:

that.

[Supdaily]:

all?

[Charlotte]:

I don't get that vibe from you that you are giving. You've never set it up to even get a chance. It's not possible. I cannot get the vibe from you. You're not a good example

[Supdaily]:

Yeah.

[Charlotte]:

of this.

[Supdaily]:

Good. Good. Yeah, yeah, that's good. I don't want to be. I mean, that's something that I had to address in therapy quite extensively. Because

[Charlotte]:

Mm.

[Supdaily]:

what I would do is called personalization. So I'd make something about me in a negative way that had nothing to do with me. There was an example, I'll give you a visual example. You have you're driving down the road and someone's tailgating you right there right up

[Charlotte]:

Mm-hmm.

[Supdaily]:

on your own and they're they're trying to rush you right. You can think, oh, this person is trying to be mean to me, or you could think this person is

[Charlotte]:

Yeah,

[Supdaily]:

trying to get

[Charlotte]:

yeah.

[Supdaily]:

to the hospital and their loved one is about to pass away. Both those things have the possibility

[Charlotte]:

Yes,

[Supdaily]:

to be true.

[Charlotte]:

that's that's

[Supdaily]:

Why

[Charlotte]:

right.

[Supdaily]:

choose the negative

[Charlotte]:

Everybody

[Supdaily]:

one?

[Charlotte]:

has a reason for something. So that's it also comes down to what I said earlier Like we need to listen to each other more and be more. Oh shit Oh my god, the battery

[Supdaily]:

Oh,

[Charlotte]:

is

[Supdaily]:

where'd you go? Oh, we're back. Okay,

[Charlotte]:

Oh shit!

[Supdaily]:

well,

[Charlotte]:

Oh

[Supdaily]:

we've

[Charlotte]:

god!

[Supdaily]:

been talking for almost

[Charlotte]:

Oh

[Supdaily]:

two

[Charlotte]:

god!

[Supdaily]:

hours, so

[Charlotte]:

Yeah, but I got scared

[Supdaily]:

no.

[Charlotte]:

now, like,

[Supdaily]:

Are you okay?

[Charlotte]:

the battery, because I know, um, that this has to upload afterwards.

[Supdaily]:

Yeah, it's like

[Charlotte]:

Oh.

[Supdaily]:

99% uploaded right now as is. So it's pretty much, it'll take like maybe a little bit,

[Charlotte]:

Good.

[Supdaily]:

like maybe a minute

[Charlotte]:

Yeah,

[Supdaily]:

after,

[Charlotte]:

so,

[Supdaily]:

so we'll

[Charlotte]:

Rejections

[Supdaily]:

be good.

[Charlotte]:

and Stimulus Foria is kind of like that. Just you have to train your brain to understand that it's not about you. It's... Also, it's not easy to believe either when you say, because it's about the other person. It's like, that doesn't help much either. No, it doesn't. But

[Supdaily]:

doesn't help how you feel, you know?

[Charlotte]:

we just have to work on ourselves, you know, because like what you said, it doesn't, other people's opinions should not have a... hold the power over you. Yeah, I have that much weight over you. So

[Supdaily]:

that much weight.

[Charlotte]:

if we learn that, then yeah. Yeah.

[Supdaily]:

I could send you that podcast too if you want to listen to that. I've had so many just like immensely interesting people and I love talking about things that I don't understand. Like, I don't have a lot of experience with autism so I'm really grateful to like understand and I know

[Charlotte]:

Oh,

[Supdaily]:

there's

[Charlotte]:

I

[Supdaily]:

a lot

[Charlotte]:

feel

[Supdaily]:

of

[Charlotte]:

like

[Supdaily]:

people

[Charlotte]:

I

[Supdaily]:

that

[Charlotte]:

only

[Supdaily]:

will take

[Charlotte]:

talked

[Supdaily]:

a lot of good from this.

[Charlotte]:

silly talk, the whole thing, because it's so late.

[Supdaily]:

No,

[Charlotte]:

I become really

[Supdaily]:

I

[Charlotte]:

silly

[Supdaily]:

think we

[Charlotte]:

when it's late.

[Supdaily]:

I know. No, we covered serious, we covered silly, we learned about

[Charlotte]:

It's

[Supdaily]:

each

[Charlotte]:

really

[Supdaily]:

other.

[Charlotte]:

lovely.

[Supdaily]:

I think overall it was a successful conversation. So if people are inspired by you and want to reach

[Charlotte]:

on

[Supdaily]:

out

[Charlotte]:

Instagram?

[Supdaily]:

to you, where's the best place for them to do that?

[Charlotte]:

Yeah, why did I say that with Texan?

[Supdaily]:

So the

[Charlotte]:

I don't

[Supdaily]:

spectrum girl.

[Charlotte]:

know. Yeah, why not? Instagram?

[Supdaily]:

Why not? Yeah. But yeah, so thank you for being on Unfiltered Friends and

[Charlotte]:

Ah, it was lovely talking

[Supdaily]:

yeah,

[Charlotte]:

to you.

[Supdaily]:

I really appreciate

[Charlotte]:

Sup,

[Supdaily]:

your time.

[Charlotte]:

Daily. No, Chris. Ha ha ha. Ha ha ha. Sup, Daily, yeah.

[Supdaily]:

That's me. Okay.