Unfiltered Friends

Love is blind? w/ Iyanna McNeely

• Chris Thompson • Episode 27

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[iyanna_jones]:

wait, I gotta put up my YouTube so it looks like I'm actually doing something. I'm, oh, well, we can talk about this during the thing. Um, okay, okay. Am I done? I'm I, I am done. I am done. Okay. Woo! We love that.

[supdaily]:

Okay, so

[iyanna_jones]:

Okay.

[supdaily]:

when we get to the end of this recording

[iyanna_jones]:

Mm-hmm.

[supdaily]:

and I say, you know, thanks for being on and we end it, don't leave, because what

[iyanna_jones]:

Okay.

[supdaily]:

this program does, which I really appreciate is it is uploading your feed from your source.

[iyanna_jones]:

Uh huh.

[supdaily]:

So if it doesn't finish uploading, the video on your end looks like I shot it with a razor phone.

[iyanna_jones]:

Oh.

[supdaily]:

So

[iyanna_jones]:

Okay.

[supdaily]:

it's usually like right after, like maybe within like a minute or so, me

[iyanna_jones]:

Okay.

[supdaily]:

and we'll go from there.

[iyanna_jones]:

Okay.

[supdaily]:

But yeah, I really enjoy, I really enjoyed researching you

[iyanna_jones]:

Really?

[supdaily]:

because I think, I think you and I are very similar in a lot of ways.

[iyanna_jones]:

Yeah.

[supdaily]:

Um, are you originally from Chicago?

[iyanna_jones]:

Uh-uh.

[supdaily]:

Yeah,

[iyanna_jones]:

No.

[supdaily]:

I grew up in Chicago. So like that.

[iyanna_jones]:

Oh, really? I didn't

[supdaily]:

So

[iyanna_jones]:

know that.

[supdaily]:

that whole, that whole season, that whole season with like Chicago folks and who else, who else am I mutuals with? We don't talk anymore.

[iyanna_jones]:

Uh huh.

[supdaily]:

Well,

[iyanna_jones]:

Uh huh.

[supdaily]:

so it's just like interesting seeing all the Chicago stuff. It gave me like a little, like

[iyanna_jones]:

I'm

[supdaily]:

a

[iyanna_jones]:

all

[supdaily]:

little,

[iyanna_jones]:

nostalgia.

[supdaily]:

little

[iyanna_jones]:

Yeah.

[supdaily]:

slice of home, you know?

[iyanna_jones]:

Yeah, I love that.

[supdaily]:

Okay. Are you ready? Oh, I got to

[iyanna_jones]:

and

[supdaily]:

do, I'm going to do a little promo. So just

[iyanna_jones]:

Okay.

[supdaily]:

stick with me. Um, I'm trying to, I'm relatively new to podcasting.

[iyanna_jones]:

Yeah,

[supdaily]:

So I'm

[iyanna_jones]:

it's

[supdaily]:

trying.

[iyanna_jones]:

a lot,

[supdaily]:

It's

[iyanna_jones]:

and you're doing

[supdaily]:

so

[iyanna_jones]:

it by

[supdaily]:

much.

[iyanna_jones]:

yourself.

[supdaily]:

I have an editor now.

[iyanna_jones]:

Oh, good.

[supdaily]:

Oh, the life changing

[iyanna_jones]:

Ha ha.

[supdaily]:

life. changing. I don't know how I functioned without him. He's going to watch this right now because we're recording already. But and then I schedule my posts

[iyanna_jones]:

Mm-hmm.

[supdaily]:

now across I think four platforms in two different ways per platform. So there's so there's audio, then there's YouTube, full

[iyanna_jones]:

Mm-hmm

[supdaily]:

conversation, YouTube shorts, and I'm about to add in like YouTube, like longer videos.

[iyanna_jones]:

Uh-huh

[supdaily]:

And then we got Facebook, Facebook Reels, Instagram

[iyanna_jones]:

Mm-hmm.

[supdaily]:

reels,

[iyanna_jones]:

Mm-hmm.

[supdaily]:

Twitter.

[iyanna_jones]:

Mm-hmm.

[supdaily]:

And then I think after that, I just eat myself off a mountain or something like that. I do live near them. So I'm thinking that's probably a good option for me.

[iyanna_jones]:

I don't

[supdaily]:

I'm

[iyanna_jones]:

know

[supdaily]:

tired.

[iyanna_jones]:

how you're doing, I feel that. We haven't even tackled Twitter, we debated it, but I just TikTok and Instagram and YouTube, it's enough.

[supdaily]:

Yes,

[iyanna_jones]:

It's enough.

[supdaily]:

I've been in this game 16 years.

[iyanna_jones]:

ュー!

[supdaily]:

I've been doing doing it full time for 13 of those years. And it's it is a grind and you're always having to pivot. And like

[iyanna_jones]:

Yeah.

[supdaily]:

the people who started when I started are not here anymore for the most part. There's like two of them and we look at each other and we're like, we, we, we.

[iyanna_jones]:

I do wonder the sustainability of it. I'm actually about to quit my job.

[supdaily]:

Mmm, you're

[iyanna_jones]:

And

[supdaily]:

about to take the leap!

[iyanna_jones]:

I'm taking the leap, I'm taking the leap. I am terrified.

[supdaily]:

Yep. Look,

[iyanna_jones]:

I am terrified.

[supdaily]:

I'm the dude to talk to about that. If you.

[iyanna_jones]:

Yeah.

[supdaily]:

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Why don't we start this? Hold on. Let's start this

[iyanna_jones]:

Okay.

[supdaily]:

because I knew this was going to be easy. I knew

[iyanna_jones]:

Hehehehe

[supdaily]:

it was going to be easy. Okay. Hello unfiltered friends. Today we have on Ayanna. I was a huge love is blind fan. So I started following all of them and then became mutuals with a few of them. I've been following Ayanna for a minute. She's a real one. episode. I really want to highlight one of the reviews I saw on Apple podcast. That's a way to really support us. So

[iyanna_jones]:

Mm-hmm.

[supdaily]:

this podcast is like being a fly on the wall when two friends are having the most intimate conversation conversation. It's inviting, refreshing, and we'll challenge you to grow. So if you are interested in that, make sure you follow and please give a rating that helps the podcast grow. But now we're about to have, I feel like a real raw conversation.

[iyanna_jones]:

You could.

[supdaily]:

just give it to me real, which is exactly what I want. That's like, I think too many people are like, okay, question and then this

[iyanna_jones]:

Mm-hmm.

[supdaily]:

and then question and that, but I just want to talk to somebody. I

[iyanna_jones]:

Yeah.

[supdaily]:

have some stuff, some notes here, but it's going to go where it is,

[iyanna_jones]:

Mm-hmm.

[supdaily]:

where it's going to be where it ends up.

[iyanna_jones]:

I like that. I like

[supdaily]:

Yeah.

[iyanna_jones]:

that.

[supdaily]:

Yeah. So, okay. Tell people, okay, you're Ayanna. Yes,

[iyanna_jones]:

Yes.

[supdaily]:

we already covered that. And you were on a show called Love is Blind, which audience before love is blind?

[iyanna_jones]:

No, not at all. I had on Instagram, I think I would post once a year and I had like 500 followers.

[supdaily]:

Ha ha ha!

[iyanna_jones]:

So yeah, definitely, definitely did not have an audience before this.

[supdaily]:

Well, do you know what the average number of followers on Instagram is? 150.

[iyanna_jones]:

What is it?

[supdaily]:

So that's,

[iyanna_jones]:

Really?

[supdaily]:

that's always the encouragement that I give, not that you're a new creator, but like anybody who talks about numbers.

[iyanna_jones]:

Yeah.

[supdaily]:

One, those numbers are so weird and don't mean a whole lot for the most part. But

[iyanna_jones]:

Mmm.

[supdaily]:

two, if you have more than 150, you're already above average and you just build from there. And now

[iyanna_jones]:

Okay.

[supdaily]:

you have like, I don't know what, like 900,000 on Instagram.

[iyanna_jones]:

Dude, it's a lot.

[supdaily]:

It's a lot,

[iyanna_jones]:

I get

[supdaily]:

but.

[iyanna_jones]:

overwhelmed sometimes when I think about that and I'm like, dude, there's a lot of people following me.

[supdaily]:

Yeah,

[iyanna_jones]:

That's a lot.

[supdaily]:

and you also like me share so in such a raw way.

[iyanna_jones]:

Yeah.

[supdaily]:

And that has to also, are you like me in the fact where like that's kind of your default? You just share

[iyanna_jones]:

I don't

[supdaily]:

raw

[iyanna_jones]:

know how

[supdaily]:

and

[iyanna_jones]:

to be

[supdaily]:

act,

[iyanna_jones]:

anything else,

[supdaily]:

right?

[iyanna_jones]:

to

[supdaily]:

Do you

[iyanna_jones]:

be

[supdaily]:

have

[iyanna_jones]:

honest.

[supdaily]:

people who are like, oh my God, you're being so vulnerable? You're

[iyanna_jones]:

Yeah.

[supdaily]:

like, this is just who I am.

[iyanna_jones]:

Literally, yeah. I remember when we did have a viral clip go viral on my podcast, and I was talking to Kayla about it, and we didn't think that that would go viral. We didn't even consider that a vulnerable moment.

[supdaily]:

Mm-hmm

[iyanna_jones]:

And so when it did go viral, I was like, do people not talk like this?

[supdaily]:

No.

[iyanna_jones]:

Like, is no one like just

[supdaily]:

No,

[iyanna_jones]:

honest?

[supdaily]:

there, I mean, you know, especially now being thrust into having this many people watching you how

[iyanna_jones]:

Yeah.

[supdaily]:

you were also involved with a show, which I used to work in production on

[iyanna_jones]:

Yeah.

[supdaily]:

reality shows. So I know that and plus being in front of the camera. So you

[iyanna_jones]:

Yeah.

[supdaily]:

know how manicured and polished and like

[iyanna_jones]:

Dude.

[supdaily]:

coerced everything is. So to see a raw, I know what conversation you were talking about, how you couldn't lean on her.

[iyanna_jones]:

Yeah.

[supdaily]:

Yeah, that sort of conversation does not happen.

[iyanna_jones]:

It's crazy

[supdaily]:

does

[iyanna_jones]:

to me.

[supdaily]:

not happen.

[iyanna_jones]:

It's like, but isn't that just living life so boring? Like

[supdaily]:

the

[iyanna_jones]:

to not be, just be your authentic self.

[supdaily]:

Yeah, but if you're not being your authentic self and you get judged, you're not getting judged. Your facade is being judged and

[iyanna_jones]:

That's

[supdaily]:

that's

[iyanna_jones]:

true.

[supdaily]:

safer.

[iyanna_jones]:

Yeah. That's true.

[supdaily]:

What's your sign?

[iyanna_jones]:

Taurus?

[supdaily]:

That makes a lot of sense. That does

[iyanna_jones]:

Yeah?

[supdaily]:

make a lot. No, I just say that because people say that, I have no idea. I

[iyanna_jones]:

I don't know what any of that stuff means.

[supdaily]:

don't know either.

[iyanna_jones]:

I don't know what any of that stuff. But I will say, moving to Chicago, I at least know my moon sign now, my sun sign, my rising.

[supdaily]:

Yeah.

[iyanna_jones]:

Cause I had no choice but to learn cause people kept asking me. And I was like, I don't

[supdaily]:

Yeah.

[iyanna_jones]:

know. Yeah.

[supdaily]:

Now, now in dating, if a girl asked me what time I was born and in what city, I know not to date her. That's what I know now.

[iyanna_jones]:

Wait,

[supdaily]:

Look,

[iyanna_jones]:

you wanna

[supdaily]:

it's

[iyanna_jones]:

know

[supdaily]:

just

[iyanna_jones]:

the

[supdaily]:

a pr...

[iyanna_jones]:

bad part is I've

[supdaily]:

Hmm.

[iyanna_jones]:

actually

[supdaily]:

Oh!

[iyanna_jones]:

asked that before. I was like, let me put you in the pattern out. Let me just see out of curiosity.

[supdaily]:

I

[iyanna_jones]:

Like,

[supdaily]:

use co-star,

[iyanna_jones]:

coast.

[supdaily]:

I use co-star. Have you ever used that one?

[iyanna_jones]:

Oh, I know what coast art is. I know what that is.

[supdaily]:

Yeah.

[iyanna_jones]:

I don't use it, but I hear they bully you on coast art.

[supdaily]:

Well, everyone bullies everyone all the time. I'm just just the nature

[iyanna_jones]:

It's a way

[supdaily]:

of things.

[iyanna_jones]:

of life, you know, builds characters.

[supdaily]:

So would you say you're that type of person still to ask those questions or have you just kind of like live and let

[iyanna_jones]:

No.

[supdaily]:

live?

[iyanna_jones]:

No, I think I still ask those questions.

[supdaily]:

Okay, well I guess it's over.

[iyanna_jones]:

Probably more so now than anything else. I'm like,

[supdaily]:

Why?

[iyanna_jones]:

I don't

[supdaily]:

Okay. What

[iyanna_jones]:

know.

[supdaily]:

do you think this is always a question? This is always so interesting to me where people point to like where the stars were in the sky to determine

[iyanna_jones]:

Yeah.

[supdaily]:

whether you're like, I had a girl say she couldn't date me because of my rising sign. And I'm just like,

[iyanna_jones]:

Oh.

[supdaily]:

Oh my goodness. I mean, she could have just been like, I don't like this guy. And that's

[iyanna_jones]:

All

[supdaily]:

my

[iyanna_jones]:

right.

[supdaily]:

way of saying I don't like him. But like, people really do base who they end up with on where the stars are and believe what you want. Huh?

[iyanna_jones]:

They, who they end up with, how they live their lives, the big decisions.

[supdaily]:

Mm-hmm

[iyanna_jones]:

I'm just like wildly curious about it.

[supdaily]:

Yeah.

[iyanna_jones]:

I'm always like fascinated by it, which is why I ask people to like take personality tests cause I'm just like curious.

[supdaily]:

Yeah.

[iyanna_jones]:

But yeah, I don't allow it to ruin my life though.

[supdaily]:

Okay, good.

[iyanna_jones]:

But I

[supdaily]:

As

[iyanna_jones]:

do

[supdaily]:

long as.

[iyanna_jones]:

ask, I'm like, what's your birthday?

[supdaily]:

What's your birthday?

[iyanna_jones]:

What time are you born? Do you know what

[supdaily]:

Yeah.

[iyanna_jones]:

time are you born?

[supdaily]:

Does

[iyanna_jones]:

Yeah.

[supdaily]:

anyone ask? I was six 30 in the morning in Indianapolis. Okay. Just

[iyanna_jones]:

Ha ha

[supdaily]:

enjoy.

[iyanna_jones]:

ha ha.

[supdaily]:

Um, so as someone who so seems to be pretty measured and seems

[iyanna_jones]:

Mm.

[supdaily]:

to like really think things through

[iyanna_jones]:

Mmm.

[supdaily]:

and investigate things, tell me the thought press process of ending up on a show where you get engaged to someone that you have never seen

[iyanna_jones]:

Hmm.

[supdaily]:

and then have a month that decide to get married.

[iyanna_jones]:

You know, to be honest, it was Lauren and Cameron. I've always been like a huge hopeless romantic still am.

[supdaily]:

Mmm.

[iyanna_jones]:

Clearly for me to end up going on a reality TV show and getting

[supdaily]:

And

[iyanna_jones]:

married.

[supdaily]:

they were in the previous season, correct?

[iyanna_jones]:

And they were in the previous season.

[supdaily]:

Yeah.

[iyanna_jones]:

And I saw that and I was like, oh my God, this can work.

[supdaily]:

Mm-hmm

[iyanna_jones]:

I could do that. I mean, because people were asking, why didn't you do like the Bachelor or something? I'm like, look at their track record. It's terrible.

[supdaily]:

horrible

[iyanna_jones]:

It's horrible. It doesn't work. Like, Bachelor in Paradise, there's some good couples, but

[supdaily]:

I

[iyanna_jones]:

like...

[supdaily]:

guess I actually lost a relationship to someone who ended up on the bachelor.

[iyanna_jones]:

Lord. Lord.

[supdaily]:

And then she became the bachelorette. And that was really fun. That was a really fun lesson. That was a really fun lesson. But, you know, you know, it's fine. I went to therapy after that, actually.

[iyanna_jones]:

It's like we're coping.

[supdaily]:

Yeah. Yeah. We're fine. Okay. So you so so you think, okay, I've seen this

[iyanna_jones]:

Mm-hmm.

[supdaily]:

couple do well.

[iyanna_jones]:

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

[supdaily]:

What's the process for ending up on the show?

[iyanna_jones]:

Uh, well, I just, I apply. I applied drunkenly. I

[supdaily]:

It's

[iyanna_jones]:

might

[supdaily]:

always the best way to do it.

[iyanna_jones]:

add, I was drunk when I did it. And it was quarantine, so like who wasn't? But I did apply and God, the questionnaires, the, there was interviews, there were psych exams. Well, I don't know how seriously they took those but clearly some

[supdaily]:

Ha ha

[iyanna_jones]:

people

[supdaily]:

ha ha

[iyanna_jones]:

ended up on our gas.

[supdaily]:

ha ha ha

[iyanna_jones]:

But yeah, it was a long process. I don't think people realized just how long that was. It was basically an entire year, because we were actually supposed to film in the fall

[supdaily]:

Mm-hmm

[iyanna_jones]:

of the previous year that we did. But then quarantine happened, COVID happened, and then it got pushed back even more. And I didn't know that I would be a final member on the cast until a month before I had to leave. So for an entire year, I was still in the application process, It was a

[supdaily]:

And

[iyanna_jones]:

lot

[supdaily]:

so

[iyanna_jones]:

of singles.

[supdaily]:

a month before that had to have been like a little like, ooh, you know, like, did you not think it was going to happen?

[iyanna_jones]:

No, not at all. Not at all. First

[supdaily]:

Yeah.

[iyanna_jones]:

of all, people like me don't end up on reality TV and I'm like,

[supdaily]:

What do

[iyanna_jones]:

why...

[supdaily]:

you mean people like you?

[iyanna_jones]:

Real people.

[supdaily]:

Oh, true.

[iyanna_jones]:

Real people.

[supdaily]:

One of the shows I worked production on is Bachelor. So like I understand the process and I'm just like,

[iyanna_jones]:

Yeah.

[supdaily]:

there is some,

[iyanna_jones]:

Yeah.

[supdaily]:

I think it's kind of like American Idol where they only really need one singer and then they got a whole lot of stories.

[iyanna_jones]:

Yeah, pretty

[supdaily]:

Yeah.

[iyanna_jones]:

much, pretty much. But yeah, yeah, that was the whole application process. And I still don't know why they picked me. I, it just, it didn't make sense. It really didn't make sense. I was like, why? Normal.

[supdaily]:

Yeah. Well, maybe that was an aspect of it. Maybe you were the one, you know,

[iyanna_jones]:

Yeah, no, it

[supdaily]:

but

[iyanna_jones]:

was me, it was me, it

[supdaily]:

it,

[iyanna_jones]:

was all me.

[supdaily]:

yeah. So what's it like? What's it like in those booths? They're like soundproof booths on the sides

[iyanna_jones]:

They are

[supdaily]:

or

[iyanna_jones]:

some.

[supdaily]:

like, you're all in there at the same, how does that work? I'm always fascinated because I know they chop it up. So

[iyanna_jones]:

Yeah, yeah, so you walk in, you walk in and you see there's like a camera there, there's a camera behind you. In some of the rooms, there's like a window and

[supdaily]:

Mm-hmm.

[iyanna_jones]:

you can hear people behind it and you just see the camera like going back and forth. And then there's a speaker at the bottom of this big wall, speaker at the bottom that you speak through and you hear through. or see anything. You're just in there. You basically feel like you're talking to yourself for a lot of the time, which is why I think it's easy for people to kind of open up because you're basically just rambling

[supdaily]:

Yeah, but there

[iyanna_jones]:

by

[supdaily]:

is

[iyanna_jones]:

yourself.

[supdaily]:

conversation, there's a conversation

[iyanna_jones]:

Oh, there's absolutely

[supdaily]:

though,

[iyanna_jones]:

conversation.

[supdaily]:

right?

[iyanna_jones]:

There's absolutely conversation. Absolutely conversation. And we talk for hours, on hours, on hours, for days. But that was by far probably the most intense thing I had ever experienced. And I see why people do crazy things like fall in love with people they don't know, because you genuinely feel like you know that person.

[supdaily]:

Yeah.

[iyanna_jones]:

Genuinely feel like you know that person. But I realize now that Lauren and Cameron were an anomaly.

[supdaily]:

Mm-hmm

[iyanna_jones]:

I think it can happen again for sure, but I know that they were an anomaly. I think it requires two people who really know themselves

[supdaily]:

Mmm.

[iyanna_jones]:

And yeah, who are ready. And then, and then possibly, but with the reality TV show, I think, who knows what you're gonna get, like who applies and

[supdaily]:

Do

[iyanna_jones]:

Yeah.

[supdaily]:

you think going into that show you were ready?

[iyanna_jones]:

I think, no.

[supdaily]:

Hmm.

[iyanna_jones]:

I think I was to an extent, and I think I was more prepared, probably, than everyone else. I know I came in, I had a whole list of questions that I wanted to ask, and which they wouldn't let me bring in, by the way, but I was like, I'm not

[supdaily]:

Wait,

[iyanna_jones]:

coming,

[supdaily]:

what? Why

[iyanna_jones]:

yeah.

[supdaily]:

wouldn't they let you bring in questions?

[iyanna_jones]:

Cause they want you to be ill-prepared.

[supdaily]:

Oh!

[iyanna_jones]:

They want you to be, but I ripped that thing out and I stuffed it in my bra,

[supdaily]:

Oh!

[iyanna_jones]:

me. Yeah, no, I came prepared. I was asking my question like really good, really good questions. But no one else, no one else did that. I remember someone looked at me and they're like, Ayanna, is that? Wow, you're really prepared. And I was like, are you not? We should get married. Like,

[supdaily]:

Yeah.

[iyanna_jones]:

we might get married at the end of this. But

[supdaily]:

So you were taking it

[iyanna_jones]:

yeah,

[supdaily]:

seriously,

[iyanna_jones]:

look,

[supdaily]:

but you weren't in

[iyanna_jones]:

now

[supdaily]:

reality

[iyanna_jones]:

I'm just my

[supdaily]:

ready. So

[iyanna_jones]:

life. I was taking it very seriously.

[supdaily]:

what was the leap about them? Why would you leap into that if you did not know you were not ready?

[iyanna_jones]:

I didn't know, oh, I didn't know. I genuinely believed, I genuinely believe I was ready for that. But I know for a fact that I was also very naive then.

[supdaily]:

Hmm.

[iyanna_jones]:

I understood the context of marriage. I understood technically what reality TV was, but I went into it so naive. And so when I came out of it and I'm getting all this attention, I'm like, why are people so invested? I just, I didn't understand it. I really

[supdaily]:

Mm-hmm

[iyanna_jones]:

didn't understand it. person I'm not that invest I mean I'm invested to an extent but I don't feel the need to message people or or like comment under things and then marriage as a whole like yeah I was not ready

[supdaily]:

Yeah.

[iyanna_jones]:

I was not ready I was not prep at all but I did my best to prep and I think I think I mean I think I did it I did a great job

[supdaily]:

Yeah, you were my favorite. That's why I was so excited to have this. I was like, because you're a real one. And I

[iyanna_jones]:

Yeah.

[supdaily]:

saw that within you. Getting proposed to, I'm sorry, the whole thing, like

[iyanna_jones]:

The concept

[supdaily]:

as someone,

[iyanna_jones]:

is wild.

[supdaily]:

right, as someone who also takes commitment and marriage and those ideas very seriously, like it

[iyanna_jones]:

Mm-hmm.

[supdaily]:

takes a lot for me to commit, not cause I'm playing around, but

[iyanna_jones]:

Yeah.

[supdaily]:

because if I commit to you, like, that's it. You know,

[iyanna_jones]:

Yeah.

[supdaily]:

like I'm ready for that.

[iyanna_jones]:

Yeah.

[supdaily]:

proposed to through a wall and you say yes.

[iyanna_jones]:

Yeah, hesitantly, but I say yes.

[supdaily]:

Okay, what, like, how long had it been and what made you push through the hesitance of saying yes to actually say it?

[iyanna_jones]:

it so it was 10 days 10 days as a whole which is crazy

[supdaily]:

That's

[iyanna_jones]:

to think

[supdaily]:

nuts!

[iyanna_jones]:

about

[supdaily]:

That's crazy!

[iyanna_jones]:

it's crazy

[supdaily]:

Ten

[iyanna_jones]:

to

[supdaily]:

days!

[iyanna_jones]:

think about it was 10 days um but you're you are talking literally all day um and uh I I was so anxious that I was throwing up every morning uh because I understood just how big this was and I was like

[supdaily]:

Hmm.

[iyanna_jones]:

was really hard for me to digest that. But yeah, 10 days. Eventually I just felt like, why not take a chance?

[supdaily]:

Yeah.

[iyanna_jones]:

If I'm gonna do anything in life, is I'm gonna take a risk.

[supdaily]:

Yeah.

[iyanna_jones]:

I've done it so many times in my life where I've just moved somewhere, I didn't know anyone, I didn't know the area, but I just moved there. I've done that a couple times. And so at this point, at that point, I was just like, well, why not? This is a once in a lifetime chance. story. I just kept being upset. Look at the

[supdaily]:

Yeah.

[iyanna_jones]:

love story. Like our kids could watch this. I'm like,

[supdaily]:

You got

[iyanna_jones]:

it's

[supdaily]:

caught

[iyanna_jones]:

just beautiful.

[supdaily]:

up in the romance, but you

[iyanna_jones]:

And

[supdaily]:

know

[iyanna_jones]:

the

[supdaily]:

what?

[iyanna_jones]:

romance.

[supdaily]:

You don't know whether it's gonna happen or not until you go through it.

[iyanna_jones]:

until you go through it.

[supdaily]:

You have

[iyanna_jones]:

And

[supdaily]:

to go through it.

[iyanna_jones]:

you have to, you have to see things through. And that's what I kept telling myself. I was like, I have to, I just have to see it through. And I weighed out the risk versus the reward. And I was like, I think it's worth the risk. Like, why not? So I said yes.

[supdaily]:

Do you remember your pros and cons list? Give me your, give me your pros.

[iyanna_jones]:

My pros were the beautiful love story. This might be my life partner. I mean, that was a huge pro for me. I was like, because I've always, again, I've thought of marriage so highly, and I thought of that the ultimate relationship to find your life partner that's crazy, and on a reality TV show. And

[supdaily]:

I'm

[iyanna_jones]:

then

[supdaily]:

just

[iyanna_jones]:

the

[supdaily]:

kidding.

[iyanna_jones]:

cons were this guy could be lying to me. But then, but then, but then I realized I've been through worse and I survived. I, I've been able to maintain my thick skin and growing thicker and still maintain my soft heart. So I knew

[supdaily]:

Mm-hmm.

[iyanna_jones]:

I would be okay regardless.

[supdaily]:

You weren't, it wasn't gonna kill you, but

[iyanna_jones]:

It wasn't going

[supdaily]:

it,

[iyanna_jones]:

to kill me. It wasn't going to kill me.

[supdaily]:

but what I

[iyanna_jones]:

It

[supdaily]:

noticed,

[iyanna_jones]:

might hurt.

[supdaily]:

what I noticed, so fun fact, I used to be a relationship coach. So like I've listened

[iyanna_jones]:

Dude,

[supdaily]:

to a lot

[iyanna_jones]:

you've lived

[supdaily]:

of,

[iyanna_jones]:

so many lives like what?

[supdaily]:

look. So the idea is once this podcast gets to a certain point, I'm gonna find someone to interview me because my

[iyanna_jones]:

Yeah,

[supdaily]:

story is

[iyanna_jones]:

as

[supdaily]:

not

[iyanna_jones]:

you should,

[supdaily]:

so, yeah.

[iyanna_jones]:

as you should.

[supdaily]:

So I noticed that a lot of the pros that you were talking about very little,

[iyanna_jones]:

No, it wasn't about him. I

[supdaily]:

Okay.

[iyanna_jones]:

mean, it was about me. But he was, I mean, I, I, I, well, that's the thing. I didn't know if I loved him or not. And

[supdaily]:

You've been

[iyanna_jones]:

I knew I

[supdaily]:

10

[iyanna_jones]:

was

[supdaily]:

days and you've never seen him. Of course you don't. Are you kidding me? Let's

[iyanna_jones]:

Yeah, I

[supdaily]:

use

[iyanna_jones]:

don't

[supdaily]:

our

[iyanna_jones]:

think

[supdaily]:

logic

[iyanna_jones]:

we even say

[supdaily]:

brain for a second. You know.

[iyanna_jones]:

and my logic brain was pretty damn strong.

[supdaily]:

It was.

[iyanna_jones]:

It was pretty damn strong. It was it was kicking in strong. I was like, bitch, what are you doing? I

[supdaily]:

I would have had a heart attack. I would have passed out.

[iyanna_jones]:

I feel like I did. I feel like I did at some point. But I was definitely I was I was very anxious about it. But I I didn't know him and I knew I was aware of the fact that I didn't know him well. But I felt like I knew enough to where I was like, OK, let's just let's just do it.

[supdaily]:

Because

[iyanna_jones]:

Let's just say.

[supdaily]:

engagement isn't legally binding.

[iyanna_jones]:

Agreed. Agreed.

[supdaily]:

But, spoiler, you did get married, so

[iyanna_jones]:

I

[supdaily]:

you

[iyanna_jones]:

took

[supdaily]:

went

[iyanna_jones]:

it

[supdaily]:

through

[iyanna_jones]:

married.

[supdaily]:

with it.

[iyanna_jones]:

I took

[supdaily]:

So,

[iyanna_jones]:

it married.

[supdaily]:

first question is, what in there made you say yes?

[iyanna_jones]:

It's okay. So no one actually knows this, but I almost said no. And I plan to say no on the day of.

[supdaily]:

Ooh.

[iyanna_jones]:

I remember I texted him, I texted my producer and I was like, I can't do this. I don't want to deal with these issues because I think the reason why I did is because he was out to like four o'clock in the morning on our wedding day. And I was like, I'm not dealing with this man. Like this is not this is not going to be my life.

[supdaily]:

No.

[iyanna_jones]:

And he played his case and he was like, look, it won't be like this afterward. This is just a rare circumstance. Like this isn't me. Like it's going to be great. Like just take a risk and say yes. And so I did,

[supdaily]:

Yeah.

[iyanna_jones]:

I trusted him. I trusted his words because I was aware of the fact that we didn't have enough time for me to see action. So I had no choice but to rely on his words.

[supdaily]:

Yeah.

[iyanna_jones]:

at that time and I was like Ayanna maybe this is just a chance to like actually try your best to trust

[supdaily]:

Mm-hmm

[iyanna_jones]:

um and so I I said yes

[supdaily]:

Yeah. But as a viewer, as a viewer, I had two thoughts about you two as a couple. One,

[iyanna_jones]:

Yeah.

[supdaily]:

I was rooting for you all the whole time because

[iyanna_jones]:

Cause we

[supdaily]:

I

[iyanna_jones]:

were

[supdaily]:

thought,

[iyanna_jones]:

great.

[supdaily]:

yeah, I thought you guys had the most chance. And the fact that I don't think, no one's together from that season anymore, right? Everyone split up?

[iyanna_jones]:

Mm-mm, everyone

[supdaily]:

Okay.

[iyanna_jones]:

split up.

[supdaily]:

Yeah. You guys I was rooting for, but I had two thoughts.

[iyanna_jones]:

Mm-hmm.

[supdaily]:

I had one, well, it was mostly about you, if I'm honest.

[iyanna_jones]:

I

[supdaily]:

It was like, is this, is she seeing something? that we

[iyanna_jones]:

Mm-hmm

[supdaily]:

aren't seeing or is this just her having major trust issues? Cause part of it was like, man, this guy can't get a break,

[iyanna_jones]:

음..

[supdaily]:

but then on the same token, we don't know everything

[iyanna_jones]:

이제..

[supdaily]:

that you're seeing. So before the wedding, before the staying out till four or five o'clock in the morning,

[iyanna_jones]:

Mm-hmm.

[supdaily]:

you know, even when you initially said yes in the booth and then met

[iyanna_jones]:

Mm-hmm.

[supdaily]:

him, did he have behaviors that were making you step

[iyanna_jones]:

question.

[supdaily]:

back even further and question that you were on the show.

[iyanna_jones]:

Um, yeah, it was the staying out so late and I just, I think I recognized that he had issues with discipline and self-control and to me, and especially because I was very much so very traditional then, and how I thought of marriage and like the man is the head of the household and like this man is going to be leading my household. And so I just kept thinking about the fact like

[supdaily]:

Ha ha ha.

[iyanna_jones]:

You struggle with controlling yourself. So, yeah, so that was really the biggest thing that I saw, because I didn't have enough time to see anything else. But that was the big thing, because it wasn't really about the fact that he would just go out and stay out super late, but it would, the lack of discipline I saw would trickle into other areas of his life.

[supdaily]:

Yeah.

[iyanna_jones]:

needed, but then I said yes and I signed

[supdaily]:

Then

[iyanna_jones]:

up

[supdaily]:

you

[iyanna_jones]:

for

[supdaily]:

said

[iyanna_jones]:

it. But

[supdaily]:

yes.

[iyanna_jones]:

then I said yes.

[supdaily]:

Did you get pressured into saying yes? Like it seems like you were unwilling participant in the yes process.

[iyanna_jones]:

I know, I was, it was him convincing me, because I was going to say yes, and then the wedding day he stayed out so late, and then he convinced me, and I was like, okay, yeah, sure.

[supdaily]:

Wedding, like the day before you got married or the day you got married, he stayed out.

[iyanna_jones]:

the day, so technically, I mean, he went out the night before. And then the day, it's of course,

[supdaily]:

He

[iyanna_jones]:

stretched

[supdaily]:

showed

[iyanna_jones]:

into

[supdaily]:

up it.

[iyanna_jones]:

the day of, cause he was out that late. And I was like, this isn't your bachelor party, you've already had that, what's happening?

[supdaily]:

Yeah.

[iyanna_jones]:

Yeah, but I thought, well, maybe it's just, it was just a rare circumstance, maybe it is, maybe it is the fact that he hasn't seen his friends in so long or like, I don't know.

[supdaily]:

This

[iyanna_jones]:

But then

[supdaily]:

sounds like,

[iyanna_jones]:

also,

[supdaily]:

if I'm honest with you, what I'm watching your face do right now is try to rationalize things that you know what the truth is.

[iyanna_jones]:

saw I felt my gut was telling me don't do it. My gut was absolutely telling me don't do it. But I assumed it's the trauma talking. I assumed I can't trust my intuition because I'm a traumatized kid and like yeah.

[supdaily]:

The more you do that, the more you end up in trouble. You're not listening to yourself.

[iyanna_jones]:

It's true, it's true.

[supdaily]:

You've got

[iyanna_jones]:

And

[supdaily]:

to listen to that.

[iyanna_jones]:

if anything, I've learned to trust myself now.

[supdaily]:

But

[iyanna_jones]:

I've

[supdaily]:

you have

[iyanna_jones]:

definitely

[supdaily]:

to step

[iyanna_jones]:

learned

[supdaily]:

outside

[iyanna_jones]:

to trust myself.

[supdaily]:

of it. You have to step outside of that every once in a while. And you found

[iyanna_jones]:

Mm-hmm.

[supdaily]:

out, well, I was right on this one, but

[iyanna_jones]:

That was great.

[supdaily]:

there's always a possibility, eternal optimism and big

[iyanna_jones]:

Yeah.

[supdaily]:

picture.

[iyanna_jones]:

Yeah.

[supdaily]:

One day you'll step out and it's gonna be exactly as that person presented. So

[iyanna_jones]:

Yeah.

[supdaily]:

I don't judge you for any of that.

[iyanna_jones]:

Yeah.

[supdaily]:

But I bet the internet did.

[iyanna_jones]:

Oh my God.

[supdaily]:

Talk to me about what it is like crazy concept of a show where you get married after what a month and a half at the most.

[iyanna_jones]:

Yeah.

[supdaily]:

What was the public like, the scrutiny from that because I'm sure it was pretty intense.

[iyanna_jones]:

It was pretty intense, especially because we were still married at the time. And so for us to have to relive those things on top of getting criticized about decisions that we made so long ago, it felt like. And we had moved on from it. We were I mean, we were married. So it was it was a lot. I don't think anyone's meant to to go through that getting

[supdaily]:

Mm-mm.

[iyanna_jones]:

that amount of criticism. Because I think people people really do take what they see for face value, scary to me

[supdaily]:

They don't

[iyanna_jones]:

because

[supdaily]:

understand how reality shows work.

[iyanna_jones]:

they don't understand it.

[supdaily]:

Yeah.

[iyanna_jones]:

They really don't and people were questioning if it was even real and I'm like, guys, this was my real life. But I know people don't see me like that. Like the other day this woman came up to me and she was like, I just want to say I loved your character on the show. And I at the time I'm not gonna lie, I was Am I dreaming? But anyways it was hard. It was hard to be criticized like that and people were telling me stand up Ayanna you need to stand up you're so weak you're so insecure and blah blah blah blah blah and I'm like

[supdaily]:

Mm-hmm.

[iyanna_jones]:

y'all don't even know me.

[supdaily]:

You don't

[iyanna_jones]:

You don't

[supdaily]:

know. All

[iyanna_jones]:

know me.

[supdaily]:

right, so use this as your soapbox, right? Stand up on

[iyanna_jones]:

Yes.

[supdaily]:

your soapbox. What are the biggest misconceptions that you perpetually heard about yourself

[iyanna_jones]:

Mm-hmm.

[supdaily]:

and what is the correction to those misconceptions?

[iyanna_jones]:

that I am insecure, I'm not. I think, I think, and also insecurity, I think people realize is very natural. People experience it all the time.

[supdaily]:

Yeah.

[iyanna_jones]:

You forget, I think they forget to smell their own shit.

[supdaily]:

Mm-hmm

[iyanna_jones]:

And so it's easier to poke fingers, but that I'm insecure, I'm not. I'm not an insecure person. That I'm traumatized, I'm not traumatized, I'm healed,

[supdaily]:

Yeah.

[iyanna_jones]:

guys. Let me think what else have I been told that I'm immature? I am not immature. That

[supdaily]:

What

[iyanna_jones]:

I'm

[supdaily]:

were

[iyanna_jones]:

childish.

[supdaily]:

they basing you being immature on?

[iyanna_jones]:

They were just me questioning Jared about him going out, apparently was immature, me expecting him to change that was immature. I mean, I wasn't it. I mean, he signed up for that. He agreed. He said he wanted to and I was like, okay, so

[supdaily]:

He vocalized that

[iyanna_jones]:

He vocalized.

[supdaily]:

he was going to shift. That was, I'm assuming, of a requirement to be with you.

[iyanna_jones]:

Yes, yes, and that's what I mean by he signed up for that. Like he

[supdaily]:

Yeah.

[iyanna_jones]:

understood what I was expecting and I understood what he was expecting to an extent, which is why I did start going over and now look

[supdaily]:

Yeah.

[iyanna_jones]:

at me. I'm more

[supdaily]:

You're

[iyanna_jones]:

extroverted, which is crazy.

[supdaily]:

good for you. I can't

[iyanna_jones]:

Yeah,

[supdaily]:

relate. I can't.

[iyanna_jones]:

you're like,

[supdaily]:

I stay

[iyanna_jones]:

that's

[supdaily]:

in.

[iyanna_jones]:

never gonna shift

[supdaily]:

No,

[iyanna_jones]:

for me.

[supdaily]:

I would have the opposite problem to him. I go to bed at like 8 p.m. So like

[iyanna_jones]:

and then I'd be

[supdaily]:

like,

[iyanna_jones]:

mad like, come on, get

[supdaily]:

come on,

[iyanna_jones]:

up!

[supdaily]:

go somewhere. I was like, no,

[iyanna_jones]:

Go somewhere!

[supdaily]:

I'm out of spoons. I got no more spoons left again. Okay, I'm out. I got

[iyanna_jones]:

Thank you.

[supdaily]:

so so you go through you go through any more misconceptions.

[iyanna_jones]:

No, I think that's it. That's all I got.

[supdaily]:

not too bad. It was just

[iyanna_jones]:

It's

[supdaily]:

probably,

[iyanna_jones]:

not it's not bad.

[supdaily]:

no, it was probably just a high volume

[iyanna_jones]:

Yeah.

[supdaily]:

of at all at the same time. I'm assuming it's

[iyanna_jones]:

Yeah.

[supdaily]:

kind of chilled out a little bit

[iyanna_jones]:

Oh,

[supdaily]:

since

[iyanna_jones]:

for

[supdaily]:

then.

[iyanna_jones]:

sure. For sure. For sure. But

[supdaily]:

Yeah.

[iyanna_jones]:

then also, I think I've learned to protect my piece a little bit better.

[supdaily]:

Mm-hmm.

[iyanna_jones]:

So I

[supdaily]:

Oh,

[iyanna_jones]:

am

[supdaily]:

she

[iyanna_jones]:

quick

[supdaily]:

got boundaries.

[iyanna_jones]:

to block somebody. I am

[supdaily]:

Yeah

[iyanna_jones]:

quick to block somebody or like just clap back. I'm like, I'm sorry, what? What?

[supdaily]:

Yeah.

[iyanna_jones]:

Do you know me? Um, but yeah.

[supdaily]:

That's one of the purposes of this podcast is to humanize the people that you see on your screens because

[iyanna_jones]:

Yeah.

[supdaily]:

I think people think that they get just deserve access to you or deserve a response from you or you deserve to be treated however they feel you should be treated, but you're a human just like anybody else.

[iyanna_jones]:

It's like people genuinely believe that because I signed up for a reality TV show that they should have they're entitled to all of this access to me and to my life

[supdaily]:

Mm-mm.

[iyanna_jones]:

and to my marriage and I'm like

[supdaily]:

Mm-mm.

[iyanna_jones]:

I signed up for that for you guys to see the beginning of my story. I don't have to tell you anything about the after it because

[supdaily]:

Mm-hmm

[iyanna_jones]:

it's none of your business.

[supdaily]:

Yeah, yeah,

[iyanna_jones]:

It's

[supdaily]:

you

[iyanna_jones]:

none

[supdaily]:

do

[iyanna_jones]:

of your business.

[supdaily]:

you invited them into like the show part of it I guess

[iyanna_jones]:

Yeah.

[supdaily]:

but like that but like once the shows once the lights are out like shows over okay

[iyanna_jones]:

Right.

[supdaily]:

Like we are married and

[iyanna_jones]:

Right.

[supdaily]:

now we're gonna go live our lives like you got what you wanted out of it And you just let other people watch

[iyanna_jones]:

Yeah, pretty much.

[supdaily]:

But what

[iyanna_jones]:

Pretty

[supdaily]:

is

[iyanna_jones]:

much.

[supdaily]:

that conversation like with with him about it being done there were multiple, what was

[iyanna_jones]:

No,

[supdaily]:

the final?

[iyanna_jones]:

there were multiple. I think I had been contemplating divorcing at least before we actually had the conversation at least six months before, when after the altar was filming, I was contemplating divorce. I mean, clearly people saw it on people like, why is she so annoyed with him? It's because I was frustrated by the situation and Jared's great. But he just wasn't a very good partner and I felt neglected. I felt unseen by my own husband. And it wasn't even, he really did do the best that he could with what he had. And I think he genuinely thought he was ready. And I did too. And yeah, but I realized you can't make someone do the work for themselves. You can't make someone want to grow. You can't make someone want to start that journey. to push him into that and I got tired of trying to push him into that. So I said you know what? I gotta go because it started to eat at me. I wasn't myself. I wasn't

[supdaily]:

It's like a

[iyanna_jones]:

myself.

[supdaily]:

pitty or stomach feeling where you just constantly know something's wrong.

[iyanna_jones]:

Yeah,

[supdaily]:

Yeah.

[iyanna_jones]:

yeah, I was like, I can't live like this, man. And people

[supdaily]:

Yeah.

[iyanna_jones]:

kept saying, Ayanna, like, you didn't give it enough time. I think I did. I think I did. A full year of, I mean, in granted, it was a new marriage, but the experiment didn't stop once the cameras left. The entire marriage was still an experiment. I didn't know him. He didn't know me. And, and...

[supdaily]:

I cannot, I cannot even process the feeling behind it.

[iyanna_jones]:

It's just crazy to me that we did that. And that's why I still have this mutual respect for him because especially now after the fact that we're not in it anymore. But I'm like, bro, we're crazy. Like, and we, we, we really did do the best that we could. We really did do the best that we could. And I don't, I don't fault him for, for any of just the tension and the frustration and the, what he had. Unfortunately, he realized that he needed more. He needed

[supdaily]:

Mm-hmm

[iyanna_jones]:

more tools in his belt. But God, we are some crazy people. Who does that?

[supdaily]:

But that like you're never going to regret it. You're never going

[iyanna_jones]:

I'm

[supdaily]:

to regret

[iyanna_jones]:

not.

[supdaily]:

that whole thing. I love how mature you guys were about it. It's something that I noticed that when it comes to breakups in general, but especially breakups where you're both public figures, which at this point,

[iyanna_jones]:

Yeah.

[supdaily]:

you both are now

[iyanna_jones]:

Yeah.

[supdaily]:

people feel the need to pick sides and then demonize the other half.

[iyanna_jones]:

Yeah.

[supdaily]:

And you guys seem to do your best to try to reduce that from happening.

[iyanna_jones]:

We did.

[supdaily]:

and I'll see you next time.

[iyanna_jones]:

Absolutely, absolutely. It was a conscious effort to fight the narrative of it's me versus him, because that's not what it was. That's really not what it was. So yeah, it was a conscious decision to do that. Even still we were protecting our marriage even though it was ending. Because I mean, it's a marriage, it's a whole marriage. It's like, sure it was an experiment, That man was actually my husband. That's crazy to say, but he was actually my husband. Like, that's why I still like, I'm still my, it's a mind fuck. That man was my husband.

[supdaily]:

Mm-hmm

[iyanna_jones]:

And so I still felt the need to protect him after. And I was very determined. Cause I knew people were gonna, people were gonna put it all on him. And in fact, it was all on him. But even still, I can say that cause I lived it. No one

[supdaily]:

Yeah.

[iyanna_jones]:

else can say that. No

[supdaily]:

Yeah.

[iyanna_jones]:

one else can say that.

[supdaily]:

You're the only one that you and him are the only ones that have the truth of what was going on there, which is why while I was watching, I did keep that in mind like, Hey, they're trying to make a show. There's a lot happening. They can edit around things. Did you

[iyanna_jones]:

Mm-hmm.

[supdaily]:

have any moments like that with the show where like something got edited in a way that made it look different than it actually was?

[iyanna_jones]:

I actually don't think so.

[supdaily]:

Good, wow.

[iyanna_jones]:

Me and Jarrett were very careful even during filming. It was us versus production is what we kept saying. It's

[supdaily]:

Yup,

[iyanna_jones]:

us versus the world.

[supdaily]:

you gotta know your know with production cause they will try to get away with everything because they're trying to make a show.

[iyanna_jones]:

Dude, they're trying to make a show. They're trying to make a show. And that's why I kept telling people, they're like, is it real? And I'm like, it's real. Your emotions are real. The reactions are real. It may be poked and prodded and it may not have naturally happened. However, that shit is real. That shit

[supdaily]:

Yeah.

[iyanna_jones]:

is real. And we would have constant conversations about what we were willing to share even on After the Alter. Because, you know, I live my life authentically anything than what I am.

[supdaily]:

Mm-hmm.

[iyanna_jones]:

So I had to balance between protecting our marriage but then also being authentic which

[supdaily]:

Yeah.

[iyanna_jones]:

was a really hard balance. So we did have a conversation about it and say what are we willing to share and what are we not willing to share. And because we had already talked about the issue of him going out and because it was a still very persistent issue in our marriage we said okay well this is what we'll address. People think that I was just like sharing too much and it was me but Jared agreed. Jared agreed. We were a partnership

[supdaily]:

Mm-hmm

[iyanna_jones]:

in that. And we were like, yeah, let's let's talk about it. It's real. That shit's very real. So why not?

[supdaily]:

Yeah. When I tried to research the aftermath, because I tried to verse myself on whoever I'm interviewing, every single article

[iyanna_jones]:

Yeah.

[supdaily]:

was just about you crying. Like,

[iyanna_jones]:

Literally.

[supdaily]:

I'm not crying. It's the same. It's like they just sense it. Like, how do you feel? I feel like there was so much more to what the end of that was other than you just crying on Instagram.

[iyanna_jones]:

Yeah.

[supdaily]:

Like, how do you feel when all you see is that?

[iyanna_jones]:

It is crazy how they deduce an entire marriage to just that.

[supdaily]:

Mm-hmm

[iyanna_jones]:

And I remember when that went viral and I was, I felt vulnerable and raw. It's crazy because I shared it, yes, and I specifically shared it on TikTok for a reason because I like TikTok better. The audience on TikTok is just a lot kinder and I

[supdaily]:

Really,

[iyanna_jones]:

refused. Yeah.

[supdaily]:

I have the opposite, the exact

[iyanna_jones]:

Really?

[supdaily]:

opposite. TikTok is brutal, Instagram

[iyanna_jones]:

Really?

[supdaily]:

is mentally well. In my

[iyanna_jones]:

What?

[supdaily]:

experience, yeah, yeah. That's

[iyanna_jones]:

That's

[supdaily]:

really

[iyanna_jones]:

wild.

[supdaily]:

interesting to hear. Like I have the opposite experience. Like I'm not gonna say I don't have a wonderful audience on TikTok I do and there's

[iyanna_jones]:

Yeah.

[supdaily]:

wonderful people in it, but it just seems like a less healthy place than Instagram.

[iyanna_jones]:

Wow,

[supdaily]:

To me, yeah.

[iyanna_jones]:

it's the opposite for me. Instagram, Instagram people are scary. People,

[supdaily]:

Well,

[iyanna_jones]:

they're scary. And

[supdaily]:

why

[iyanna_jones]:

maybe

[supdaily]:

are

[iyanna_jones]:

it's

[supdaily]:

they

[iyanna_jones]:

because

[supdaily]:

scary?

[iyanna_jones]:

I have a bigger, because they're just, they're bold. They're so bold. Like, why do you feel so bold to say certain things?

[supdaily]:

What are

[iyanna_jones]:

Like,

[supdaily]:

they saying?

[iyanna_jones]:

I mean, even now, even now with them going under Jared's stuff sometimes, and they'll tag me, and they'll be like, you need to call your wife, get your wife back. And I'm like, you don't,

[supdaily]:

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

[iyanna_jones]:

what is happening? These are real people. These are real people.

[supdaily]:

Yes.

[iyanna_jones]:

I'll click on the profile sometimes and they're like full marriages and they have kids and like businesses and I'm like.

[supdaily]:

What?

[iyanna_jones]:

Are you normal? But they're just bold. They're so bold on Instagram and Twitter. Twitter is a dark place. Twitter is

[supdaily]:

Yeah,

[iyanna_jones]:

so dark.

[supdaily]:

it is. It is. Yeah, I see the same thing that you're talking, maybe it's just because like your main audience is on Instagram and my main audience is like, I have a million on TikTok,

[iyanna_jones]:

I feel

[supdaily]:

you

[iyanna_jones]:

like

[supdaily]:

have

[iyanna_jones]:

that's

[supdaily]:

about a

[iyanna_jones]:

what

[supdaily]:

million

[iyanna_jones]:

it

[supdaily]:

on

[iyanna_jones]:

is.

[supdaily]:

Instagram, and then

[iyanna_jones]:

That's

[supdaily]:

I have

[iyanna_jones]:

what

[supdaily]:

like,

[iyanna_jones]:

it is.

[supdaily]:

I don't know, like 140 on here and you have, you know, it's so

[iyanna_jones]:

Like

[supdaily]:

like,

[iyanna_jones]:

200.

[supdaily]:

I think it's just where you're like more exposed.

[iyanna_jones]:

Yeah,

[supdaily]:

Maybe

[iyanna_jones]:

I agree.

[supdaily]:

that's an app.

[iyanna_jones]:

I agree.

[supdaily]:

But I think what that is, is just a lot of people taking their own pain and projecting it onto your relationship about it, their situation.

[iyanna_jones]:

I caught on to that way too late, because I genuinely, because I realized about myself, oh, everyone should, that we have blind spots. I know I have blind spots about myself, which is why I genuinely actually listened to some of the criticism. And then it took me months, months after the fact to realize like some of these people are literally just projecting things onto me,

[supdaily]:

Most of them.

[iyanna_jones]:

most of them, and it has nothing to do with me,

[supdaily]:

Mm-hmm

[iyanna_jones]:

with me. But something about me just triggered the fuck out of them and they felt the need to just like

[supdaily]:

It's a lot of it's a lot of that and it's taken a long time for me at therapy, not to personalize that stuff and realize that

[iyanna_jones]:

Yeah.

[supdaily]:

like these people, they don't know me.

[iyanna_jones]:

They

[supdaily]:

You

[iyanna_jones]:

don't

[supdaily]:

know,

[iyanna_jones]:

know

[supdaily]:

even

[iyanna_jones]:

me.

[supdaily]:

even from watching like I'm not on a reality show, but I'm on, you know, platforms, they don't

[iyanna_jones]:

Yeah.

[supdaily]:

they don't really know me. Like I show up as myself, but you miss a lot of detail and then you

[iyanna_jones]:

Yeah.

[supdaily]:

fill in the gaps with your own information without actually talking to me. Good luck

[iyanna_jones]:

is it

[supdaily]:

with

[iyanna_jones]:

is

[supdaily]:

your

[iyanna_jones]:

crazy

[supdaily]:

journey, I guess. I

[iyanna_jones]:

it's

[supdaily]:

don't know.

[iyanna_jones]:

crazy i remember when i i posted something about um me smoking uh weed on tiktok and oh

[supdaily]:

I live

[iyanna_jones]:

and

[supdaily]:

in Colorado

[iyanna_jones]:

oh

[supdaily]:

so we're pretty 420 friendly here in this household.

[iyanna_jones]:

And that's why I live in Chicago. So I'm like, I thought, I mean, whatever. It was just such a big deal. And people were like, Ayanna, someone messaged me, was like, Ayanna, you're turning into someone that's not you and like, this isn't you. And I'm like, have

[supdaily]:

You

[iyanna_jones]:

we met?

[supdaily]:

don't know me.

[iyanna_jones]:

We met? Have we met? I'm sorry. What's happening?

[supdaily]:

These are also the same people who are like dousing themselves in alcohol at time, which is 10 times more damaging than any amount of way that you could ever smoke the

[iyanna_jones]:

Thank

[supdaily]:

end.

[iyanna_jones]:

you. Thank you.

[supdaily]:

If you

[iyanna_jones]:

Thank

[supdaily]:

know the

[iyanna_jones]:

you.

[supdaily]:

reasons why we highly criminalize weed in this country, it has to do a big pharma and it has to do with the 13th Amendment. If anyone hasn't watched the documentary 13th,

[iyanna_jones]:

They should. They should

[supdaily]:

they should

[iyanna_jones]:

watch it.

[supdaily]:

and learn. And there are people

[iyanna_jones]:

They should.

[supdaily]:

who are part of these administrations who are like, yeah, we wanted to disrupt the Black Panthers and the hippies.

[iyanna_jones]:

Literally, but but but when you say that people I guess it sounds so crazy. They're like no, that's that's

[supdaily]:

They literally, the people who made the decisions are in the documentary saying this is what we did. Like,

[iyanna_jones]:

It's like this isn't conspiracy. This

[supdaily]:

I

[iyanna_jones]:

is

[supdaily]:

don't

[iyanna_jones]:

real

[supdaily]:

know what

[iyanna_jones]:

life.

[supdaily]:

to tell you, but

[iyanna_jones]:

This is real life.

[supdaily]:

what's criminal is the tax in Illinois on weed

[iyanna_jones]:

Yeah.

[supdaily]:

is so much more than here. It's only 15% here. It's like 35, 40%

[iyanna_jones]:

It's

[supdaily]:

there.

[iyanna_jones]:

bad. It's bad. It's really, it's so expensive. Which is why I was like, I need to slow down because

[supdaily]:

Yeah.

[iyanna_jones]:

especially because I'm about to quit my job. I was like, my finances, I gotta think about stuff like

[supdaily]:

You

[iyanna_jones]:

that

[supdaily]:

know

[iyanna_jones]:

now.

[supdaily]:

what you should do is what I did. I actually have a brand deal with my dispensary. I reached out to them. They pay me a certain amount of month and they give me a credit for the store. And then it's starting this month. I'm going to do high Q and a. Right. Right. Come on.

[iyanna_jones]:

I love that so

[supdaily]:

I'm

[iyanna_jones]:

much!

[supdaily]:

good. You're, you're, you're quitting to do social media full time.

[iyanna_jones]:

Yeah.

[supdaily]:

Yeah.

[iyanna_jones]:

Social media, I'm about to start doing YouTube too.

[supdaily]:

Yeah, let me guide you and let me help you monetize too. Because

[iyanna_jones]:

Please.

[supdaily]:

there's a lot of people with big followings who make no money.

[iyanna_jones]:

I don't think people, I think people automatically assume because I have a big following immediately I was making money. And I was

[supdaily]:

Mm-mm. Mm-mm.

[iyanna_jones]:

like, I gotta work. And just because of the big following means nothing. It's the engagement.

[supdaily]:

No.

[iyanna_jones]:

It's

[supdaily]:

Engagement.

[iyanna_jones]:

the, it's the, and that's why some people who only has like a hundred K, like are making really good money because of the community and the, hello,

[supdaily]:

I'm

[iyanna_jones]:

hello.

[supdaily]:

one of them. You know.

[iyanna_jones]:

And the engagement,

[supdaily]:

Yeah, you got to build

[iyanna_jones]:

yeah.

[supdaily]:

a real relationship with your audience. And that's

[iyanna_jones]:

literally.

[supdaily]:

like, that's the main thing.

[iyanna_jones]:

Literally. And that's what I'm trying to do now. I'm trying

[supdaily]:

Okay.

[iyanna_jones]:

to show people who I am and let the people who love me gravitate toward me and people who don't are only obsessed about drama or the

[supdaily]:

Mm-hmm

[iyanna_jones]:

marriage like they can,

[supdaily]:

Because you're

[iyanna_jones]:

they

[supdaily]:

done

[iyanna_jones]:

can...

[supdaily]:

done you've literally said like like look it's done. I made a statement Leave it alone like you're like that's why I was even hesitant to bring up love is blind and I asked you before we started Can I even bring this up because you seemed in some of those posts to be very very over it You're trying to move on with your life

[iyanna_jones]:

I'm trying to move on. But I also give grace because I'm like, this is why people know who I am.

[supdaily]:

Mm-hmm

[iyanna_jones]:

So I know this will always be present, and that's frustrating as it can be. But that's why I'm also trying to branch out

[supdaily]:

Yeah.

[iyanna_jones]:

just outside of the show, just with my podcast and maybe some other things that I'll do, almost rebranding. But

[supdaily]:

Mm-hmm

[iyanna_jones]:

yeah, I am a little over it. I got a stick because

[supdaily]:

Yeah.

[iyanna_jones]:

it felt like so long ago. It's like, bro, it just puts you in a place of being stuck time period

[supdaily]:

Yeah.

[iyanna_jones]:

when I've moved on. Mentally, literally.

[supdaily]:

Yeah, on social media, though, it seemed like you have a really strong connection with Natalie. Is that

[iyanna_jones]:

Oh yes,

[supdaily]:

so? I mean,

[iyanna_jones]:

yes.

[supdaily]:

that's going to stick with you the whole time. One more love is blind question about the specific

[iyanna_jones]:

Oh, by

[supdaily]:

thing.

[iyanna_jones]:

all means.

[supdaily]:

You leave love is blind married.

[iyanna_jones]:

Yes.

[supdaily]:

Someone you got close to leaves

[iyanna_jones]:

Yes.

[supdaily]:

love blind single.

[iyanna_jones]:

Yeah.

[supdaily]:

How do you have that conversation with her? Like, are you are you able to be there

[iyanna_jones]:

No, she, she, she actually, because we, me and Natalie were very unlikely friendship. I actually didn't really like her in the beginning because she was hanging out with some very questionable people. But granted, we also didn't know each other.

[supdaily]:

Yeah.

[iyanna_jones]:

None of us knew each other. So of course you like just quickly gravitate toward people not really understanding completely with her, but she caught on eventually like, oh, I shouldn't hang out with this person. He started to get closer during the actual show because of just like the stuff that we were dealing with and Natalie was dealing with a lot of stuff behind the scenes. But because she's so protective of just herself and the people that she loves, she refused to share any of that. She was dealing with a lot of stuff and I knew she needed a support and I knew I was a real bitch and I was like, bitch, I'll be a real bitch for you.

[supdaily]:

Mm-hmm

[iyanna_jones]:

And I remember she called me on her wedding day and she was like, what do I do? bitch you better say no you

[supdaily]:

Yeah.

[iyanna_jones]:

better say no like what are you doing

[supdaily]:

I was thankful

[iyanna_jones]:

um

[supdaily]:

for that. No, as a viewer, I was just like, Oh, thank God, because it just

[iyanna_jones]:

Yeah.

[supdaily]:

did not seem okay. They just did not seem okay. He had, he seems like he has a lot of emotional

[iyanna_jones]:

Hmm.

[supdaily]:

work, a lot of men do.

[iyanna_jones]:

A lot

[supdaily]:

And that's

[iyanna_jones]:

of

[supdaily]:

why

[iyanna_jones]:

men

[supdaily]:

I

[iyanna_jones]:

do,

[supdaily]:

went

[iyanna_jones]:

but

[supdaily]:

to, that's why I went to therapy because

[iyanna_jones]:

yeah.

[supdaily]:

I needed to learn cause a man who doesn't know how to process his emotions

[iyanna_jones]:

Yeah.

[supdaily]:

in a healthy way can be very, very damaging.

[iyanna_jones]:

Yeah,

[supdaily]:

So that's why that

[iyanna_jones]:

and it was,

[supdaily]:

it was,

[iyanna_jones]:

it was,

[supdaily]:

it seemed like

[iyanna_jones]:

it

[supdaily]:

it.

[iyanna_jones]:

was very damaging. And the crazy part is, is watching the show again, or watching the show at all, I, we were actually all very shocked by their edit because I mean, it genuinely looked like that they might make it. Even I was fooled for a second, I'm like, wow, you guys actually looked really great. I'm like, were you guys kind of healthy? And she was like, no, it wasn't like that at all. It wasn't like that at all. Again, because she was so protective, she only gave them the good stuff. And so that's all that they could use.

[supdaily]:

That's a testament to her though, because she had ever, because you watched the next season. God, I don't even remember her, her name, the cuties girl. She

[iyanna_jones]:

Oh,

[supdaily]:

like,

[iyanna_jones]:

yeah.

[supdaily]:

she really wanted to have her moment

[iyanna_jones]:

Yeah.

[supdaily]:

to destroy somebody and like the wherewithal to be like, Hey, this is still another human is really like a testament to who Natalie is.

[iyanna_jones]:

Yeah, yeah,

[supdaily]:

even

[iyanna_jones]:

yeah.

[supdaily]:

though it seemed real messed up.

[iyanna_jones]:

It was, you guys don't even know the half.

[supdaily]:

I don't, I don't.

[iyanna_jones]:

You guys don't even know the half of it.

[supdaily]:

Yeah.

[iyanna_jones]:

But yeah, she did call me on the wedding day. She's like, what do I do? What do I say? And I said, but she better stand up for yourself.

[supdaily]:

Yeah.

[iyanna_jones]:

And you say no. And I'm so happy that she did. But anyways, we grew even closer after that

[supdaily]:

Mm-hmm

[iyanna_jones]:

because no one else understands being on a reality TV show. No one else understands finding love in that way. just like leaning on each other quite a bit. But me and Natalie were just, she's my soulmate. She's

[supdaily]:

Yeah.

[iyanna_jones]:

my soulmate. I understand her very sick ass sense of humor because I have it too. And she's so genuine. She's so loyal. And she's just generally such a kind person. So, Amy, it's easy to be her friend. I know,

[supdaily]:

Oh,

[iyanna_jones]:

right?

[supdaily]:

I'm about to have some tears. What are you doing? Ha ha ha ha.

[iyanna_jones]:

Yeah, that's my babe.

[supdaily]:

So it seems like from the experience, regardless of how it worked out, that you really, really grew. You really

[iyanna_jones]:

I did.

[supdaily]:

learned a lot

[iyanna_jones]:

I did.

[supdaily]:

about yourself. What were some of the big lessons that you learned about who you are through that experience?

[iyanna_jones]:

I think I learned who I was.

[supdaily]:

Hmm.

[iyanna_jones]:

I realized what I have to offer and I realized that what I do have to offer is very rare. Just the vulnerability that I have and the openness and the honesty that I have because it's beyond just being honest. It's also like the transparency of it all. I didn't realize that that wasn't normal. I mean, that was rare. And so I recognized that about myself and I now love that about myself. I just love me. I love me.

[supdaily]:

Yeah.

[iyanna_jones]:

I was talking to my therapist about that today cause my, an ex from five years ago, all of a sudden popped up in my life.

[supdaily]:

They tend

[iyanna_jones]:

And

[supdaily]:

to do

[iyanna_jones]:

it,

[supdaily]:

that, yeah.

[iyanna_jones]:

why? Like why though? And

[supdaily]:

Cause it was good

[iyanna_jones]:

I,

[supdaily]:

and they know. It's like, yeah, I know I'm great and I'll go away.

[iyanna_jones]:

literally, literally that, He was like, I've never met anyone else like you and I miss us. And I'm like, uh-huh. But it forced me to take a look back at who I was then and then who I am now. And in this past year, I've gained so much confidence, more confidence than I think I've ever had that I feel secure within myself. And I know regardless of what happens in life, I'm gonna be okay because I trust myself.

[supdaily]:

Yeah.

[iyanna_jones]:

I was such a high compliment when Jira did say that about me and I was like, yeah, I am resilient. You're damn right I am.

[supdaily]:

Mm-hmm

[iyanna_jones]:

But yeah, I mean, I learned that. I learned my value. I learned, I learned boundaries. I learned the importance of boundaries and how I can implement those in my life and what I wanted for my life. Yeah. Yeah, I learned a lot, man.

[supdaily]:

Yeah. So say someone's trying to get there. Say someone's trying

[iyanna_jones]:

Yeah.

[supdaily]:

to love themselves more. Someone's trying to have boundaries. Some are trying to embrace themselves.

[iyanna_jones]:

Mmm.

[supdaily]:

What guidance do you give them for things that they can actually do? Because we hear it all the time.

[iyanna_jones]:

Yeah.

[supdaily]:

Yeah, you can lip service all you want, but what do I

[iyanna_jones]:

Yeah.

[supdaily]:

do? What do I do?

[iyanna_jones]:

Yeah. I'm trying to think what did I even, I think I got, I think I, I realized the control and the power that I had, the power of choice and anything in my life. And so I had to reframe my thinking, which was so hard and it's still so hard to do because

[supdaily]:

Hmm, eh, we're doing our best. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

[iyanna_jones]:

I'm a brooding ass motherfucker. But I just, I reframed my thinking and I forced myself to look at things positively. I forced myself to, oh god, I've been doing affirmations. I've never used to do affirmations. That shit works.

[supdaily]:

It does.

[iyanna_jones]:

That shit actually works.

[supdaily]:

It works as long as you're also doing the work on your trauma.

[iyanna_jones]:

Agreed. Oh my God.

[supdaily]:

You can't polish your trauma. You got to deal

[iyanna_jones]:

You

[supdaily]:

with

[iyanna_jones]:

can't.

[supdaily]:

it. You know? That's

[iyanna_jones]:

And

[supdaily]:

because...

[iyanna_jones]:

that's another thing that I did deal with my drama.

[supdaily]:

It's it you carry it with you everywhere you go and it shows

[iyanna_jones]:

Mm-hmm.

[supdaily]:

it's your past bleeding on your future

[iyanna_jones]:

Literally.

[supdaily]:

People are like, why did you go to therapy? And I was like, I wanted to give my future connections a chance to thrive and I can't if I'm carrying my past with me the end

[iyanna_jones]:

I used to say this, I used to say something before where people would say, Ayanna, what do you want in life? And I used to say, like, I just want to be happy. But then I realized in order to be happy, you need to be healthy. You can't, you can't, you can't dwell in a full and full happy life if you're not healthy.

[supdaily]:

Mm-hmm

[iyanna_jones]:

And so I realized healthiness is happiness. And so that's what I just started to strive for more in my life as a whole, when it came to, oh, and also a big thing, A big thing is I live by love ethic, so I will never, and when I say never, I will never give up on love. Whether it's self love, friendship love, romantic love, it's what drives me, it's what pushes me, and it's why I continue to have these authentic connections and these authentic moments because I will never, I will never give up on love. It's like,

[supdaily]:

That's

[iyanna_jones]:

why

[supdaily]:

good.

[iyanna_jones]:

else are we here?

[supdaily]:

Yeah.

[iyanna_jones]:

Right?

[supdaily]:

That was bars

[iyanna_jones]:

Why

[supdaily]:

right

[iyanna_jones]:

else

[supdaily]:

there.

[iyanna_jones]:

are we

[supdaily]:

You,

[iyanna_jones]:

here?

[supdaily]:

like, you felt

[iyanna_jones]:

No,

[supdaily]:

that,

[iyanna_jones]:

I felt

[supdaily]:

you

[iyanna_jones]:

that.

[supdaily]:

know? Bars.

[iyanna_jones]:

I felt that.

[supdaily]:

Yeah, it

[iyanna_jones]:

I

[supdaily]:

was real.

[iyanna_jones]:

mean, why else are we here? Why else are we here?

[supdaily]:

Yeah. Well, some people want to carry that bitterness, but also have somebody. But then like, what's the point?

[iyanna_jones]:

Yeah, what's

[supdaily]:

Like,

[iyanna_jones]:

the point?

[supdaily]:

like me as a man who has done his work and his healing, if I see that, I just walk away from it. It's like,

[iyanna_jones]:

Yeah.

[supdaily]:

there's nothing wrong with you. I'm just at a different stage.

[iyanna_jones]:

I'm on a different stage.

[supdaily]:

And I'm not trying to, that's a lot of weight to carry. I already done got rid of mine. So like

[iyanna_jones]:

Right.

[supdaily]:

here, like good luck with you. I'm here to support you. But dating

[iyanna_jones]:

you value your piece and you realize that would disrupt it. If

[supdaily]:

Mm-hmm

[iyanna_jones]:

you're being with someone who hasn't done the work, it does disrupt your piece. And

[supdaily]:

Yeah.

[iyanna_jones]:

I remember I felt myself reverting back to things that I had already worked through. And I was like, I can't do this. What's happening?

[supdaily]:

Yeah.

[iyanna_jones]:

This isn't me.

[supdaily]:

I actually

[iyanna_jones]:

I'm

[supdaily]:

have

[iyanna_jones]:

still shocked

[supdaily]:

a quote

[iyanna_jones]:

by that.

[supdaily]:

from you that you posted, written down. If spending time with you doesn't compare to spending time with myself, then you gotta go.

[iyanna_jones]:

I literally just posted that.

[supdaily]:

I

[iyanna_jones]:

Yeah,

[supdaily]:

know,

[iyanna_jones]:

like you

[supdaily]:

and

[iyanna_jones]:

gotta go.

[supdaily]:

I wrote that down for me, but I also wrote it down to talk to you about it. What inspired that?

[iyanna_jones]:

I realized that day, because I had, I was in my apartment for hours and no one, you see the compilation of it all, I was doing that for hours, hours. And I only thought halfway through like, oh, I should record some of this. So I did, but I enjoy my space. I so enjoy my space and I enjoy my time. And I don't want anyone to disrupt that. is a good fit if they don't disrupt it. If there is peace in that and spending time with them feels like replenishing because I'm pretty fun. I'm a pretty great person.

[supdaily]:

I think so.

[iyanna_jones]:

Yeah, I think

[supdaily]:

Yeah,

[iyanna_jones]:

that's just it.

[supdaily]:

yeah, you seem alright.

[iyanna_jones]:

Yeah, that's pretty good.

[supdaily]:

Yeah.

[iyanna_jones]:

So yeah, I think I just had that realization and I was like, wow, I've been doing this for a really long time, just like spending time with myself and rub that.

[supdaily]:

Yeah.

[iyanna_jones]:

So I was like, you know what? I feel like someone will resonate with this. Let

[supdaily]:

Yeah,

[iyanna_jones]:

me post it. Let

[supdaily]:

I'm

[iyanna_jones]:

me

[supdaily]:

like

[iyanna_jones]:

post

[supdaily]:

a,

[iyanna_jones]:

it.

[supdaily]:

I'm a more introverted person. So I have a limited amount of energy that I can give per day and some

[iyanna_jones]:

Literally.

[supdaily]:

people drain it, some people maintain it. And

[iyanna_jones]:

Yeah.

[supdaily]:

if you're not

[iyanna_jones]:

You

[supdaily]:

a

[iyanna_jones]:

can

[supdaily]:

maintainer, like

[iyanna_jones]:

look

[supdaily]:

I'm sorry,

[iyanna_jones]:

calm.

[supdaily]:

it's just an aspect of who I am and you either love it or you don't. But

[iyanna_jones]:

Yeah.

[supdaily]:

I love me for the first time, I'm 41 years old. It is my first time in my life loving me. And do you know how confusing

[iyanna_jones]:

Oh.

[supdaily]:

it is to go that long and be like, oh, I could have just done this the whole time.

[iyanna_jones]:

the whole time! I've been wasting my own time, like, what? It's

[supdaily]:

I

[iyanna_jones]:

like

[supdaily]:

do my

[iyanna_jones]:

pulling

[supdaily]:

best

[iyanna_jones]:

the...

[supdaily]:

to not get mad at myself for being

[iyanna_jones]:

It's

[supdaily]:

so

[iyanna_jones]:

hard,

[supdaily]:

foolish

[iyanna_jones]:

though.

[supdaily]:

for so long, but it is

[iyanna_jones]:

It's

[supdaily]:

really

[iyanna_jones]:

hard.

[supdaily]:

difficult.

[iyanna_jones]:

I do that with myself. My therapist is always like, Ayanna, you do realize you're human, right? And you're doing a good job. And I'm like, yeah, am I the one? And she's

[supdaily]:

No,

[iyanna_jones]:

like,

[supdaily]:

I have

[iyanna_jones]:

yes.

[supdaily]:

to be perfect. I have to be perfect. And I don't know if you had the same thing. My core wound that we worked on was worthiness. And

[iyanna_jones]:

Yes.

[supdaily]:

I felt like I had to do things in order to earn the goodwill of other people, whether that be in relationships, whether that be in the bedroom, whether that be in friendships. And then I was always left empty.

[iyanna_jones]:

Empty, empty, just so empty. I actually realized I have that, but this is a new thought for me that I realized I have that same kind of mindset.

[supdaily]:

I know you do. I like the we've been following each other for for quite a bit now.

[iyanna_jones]:

For a while,

[supdaily]:

And

[iyanna_jones]:

yeah.

[supdaily]:

I didn't follow you for the podcast. I was like checking in on you every once in a while. They're like, Hey, how's it going? I

[iyanna_jones]:

Ehehehe

[supdaily]:

know things are going. So how's it going? And I think it's because we have similar energies with each other. That's why I was just like, Oh, I like her.

[iyanna_jones]:

Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I remember after the show when everyone was, everyone just liked me so much, I was confused. And I was very confused. I thought people were gonna find me wildly annoying. And some people did find me wildly annoying. But a lot of people did gravitate toward me and I was very confused by that. And I remember having a conversation with, there's a woman, her name's Megan Ashley. She has a podcast with V Simone. there are no for sure podcast. And I spoke to her and I was like, how, how did you not get in your head? And how did you feel like you deserved all of this? Like, how did you get to a point of feeling worthy? Because even still now I struggle sometimes. I'm like, why would anyone give a fuck about whatever the hell I have to say? And why does like, why are these people gravitating toward me? And I still get in that mindset sometimes.

[supdaily]:

And who determines that?

[iyanna_jones]:

Yeah,

[supdaily]:

You do.

[iyanna_jones]:

I do determine

[supdaily]:

So

[iyanna_jones]:

that.

[supdaily]:

stop

[iyanna_jones]:

You're right.

[supdaily]:

being mean to yourself. You want to hear what one of my, actually, I don't know if you can see there's like a waveform back there.

[iyanna_jones]:

Mm-hmm.

[supdaily]:

And that waveform is my voice saying this phrase. And I want you to say it with me when we're done. This is my affirmation. I

[iyanna_jones]:

Okay.

[supdaily]:

am a masterpiece and I am worthy. Say it.

[iyanna_jones]:

Whoa, I am a masterpiece and I am worthy. I'll say that right

[supdaily]:

That's

[iyanna_jones]:

now.

[supdaily]:

right.

[iyanna_jones]:

That is beautiful, beautiful.

[supdaily]:

And it, I still don't believe it most of the time, but I believe it more than I used to. So

[iyanna_jones]:

And that's progress,

[supdaily]:

that

[iyanna_jones]:

progress.

[supdaily]:

is progress, it's baby

[iyanna_jones]:

That is

[supdaily]:

steps.

[iyanna_jones]:

progress. That is progress. Um.

[supdaily]:

So, okay. A lot of your presence is based on like your marriage and your dating life and stuff like that. Are you dating now?

[iyanna_jones]:

I am dating.

[supdaily]:

Do you have

[iyanna_jones]:

I am

[supdaily]:

a

[iyanna_jones]:

dating.

[supdaily]:

person?

[iyanna_jones]:

I have a potential person.

[supdaily]:

Mmm, actually same. I don't talk about my dating life because of how people react to dating lives

[iyanna_jones]:

Yeah,

[supdaily]:

on social

[iyanna_jones]:

yeah.

[supdaily]:

media. I don't want all those people meddling in my stuff.

[iyanna_jones]:

Because once they started meddling, man,

[supdaily]:

Mm-mm,

[iyanna_jones]:

once

[supdaily]:

mm-mm,

[iyanna_jones]:

they

[supdaily]:

mm-mm.

[iyanna_jones]:

started meddling, man, yeah,

[supdaily]:

Mm-mm.

[iyanna_jones]:

but I, but I do, I am dating. I was dating multiple people at one point.

[supdaily]:

That's exhausting. How do you do

[iyanna_jones]:

It

[supdaily]:

that?

[iyanna_jones]:

is exact. You know, a lot of compartmentalizing, but I realized I was probably doing myself a disservice by not dating multiple people, because I am such a person like I don't eat

[supdaily]:

Ha ha

[iyanna_jones]:

on like

[supdaily]:

ha!

[iyanna_jones]:

one person. I And I was like, I can't do that. I have options now. Oh my God, a bitch has options

[supdaily]:

Look

[iyanna_jones]:

now.

[supdaily]:

at

[iyanna_jones]:

It's

[supdaily]:

you.

[iyanna_jones]:

crazy, it's crazy.

[supdaily]:

Yeah.

[iyanna_jones]:

Options and I was like, I'd be doing myself a disservice if I didn't do that. But it was definitely difficult. It was difficult.

[supdaily]:

Yeah.

[iyanna_jones]:

But when you know what you want, it was so easy for me to be like, nope, nope, nope. And now I've dwindled down to one person,

[supdaily]:

Okay.

[iyanna_jones]:

which is pretty cool, but he's still in the running.

[supdaily]:

Yeah, they gotta,

[iyanna_jones]:

I didn't

[supdaily]:

they

[iyanna_jones]:

like

[supdaily]:

gotta

[iyanna_jones]:

it.

[supdaily]:

put in the work. This is, this is prime real estate here, okay?

[iyanna_jones]:

Hello,

[supdaily]:

Like...

[iyanna_jones]:

hello, hello. You know how I realized after the damn show, I was like, I am never moving that fast again?

[supdaily]:

Duh, you know what?

[iyanna_jones]:

I sleep.

[supdaily]:

So I had a guy on my podcast who's diagnosed with narcissistic personality disorder.

[iyanna_jones]:

cool.

[supdaily]:

And he tells people, he goes to therapy and he's self-aware and he teaches people. He can't help his

[iyanna_jones]:

Yeah,

[supdaily]:

diagnosis, he just is who he is.

[iyanna_jones]:

I mean it just says what it is.

[supdaily]:

And he said, the one thing that will help you avoid ending up with a narcissist is go slow.

[iyanna_jones]:

Yeah.

[supdaily]:

Because they wanna have control over what is happening. And if you don't give them that control, they show their ass real quick.

[iyanna_jones]:

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[supdaily]:

Yep.

[iyanna_jones]:

Even even before the show that I used to I remember I used to move very fast.

[supdaily]:

Mm-hmm

[iyanna_jones]:

For example, I remember I went on a hinge date and he was my boyfriend by date three.

[supdaily]:

Wow.

[iyanna_jones]:

And and we went on these dates within a two week period.

[supdaily]:

Whoa.

[iyanna_jones]:

I was meeting his mom by date two.

[supdaily]:

You know what that is? That's wounds. That's your wounds.

[iyanna_jones]:

It was my wounds.

[supdaily]:

It's your wounds and the butterflies

[iyanna_jones]:

It was my wounds.

[supdaily]:

is a warning

[iyanna_jones]:

Yeah

[supdaily]:

system. You learn that butterflies are a warning system, not a positive. It's your.

[iyanna_jones]:

They're not a positive.

[supdaily]:

Did you, did you also buy into the butterflies is a wonderful

[iyanna_jones]:

I

[supdaily]:

thing?

[iyanna_jones]:

did. I did. I was like chemistry, chemistry. It's all chemistry. We love this.

[supdaily]:

No, no. And you find, it's like, oh, I feel like I've known you forever, but that person that you knew forever before them, it didn't work out with them and they were not great. So what?

[iyanna_jones]:

Mm,

[supdaily]:

Let's use

[iyanna_jones]:

mm,

[supdaily]:

her brain.

[iyanna_jones]:

mm, mm, mm, mm, literally.

[supdaily]:

Disney's messed us up, okay?

[iyanna_jones]:

I really do think Disney has fucked us all up in

[supdaily]:

Ha

[iyanna_jones]:

the

[supdaily]:

ha

[iyanna_jones]:

brain.

[supdaily]:

ha

[iyanna_jones]:

I'm not even kidding because it's, it's, we're children and we're watching like these. This man kissing this woman that.

[supdaily]:

Buck. What browser are you on? Okay, what? It says no. done. Anyway, we're towards the end now anyway. We'll deal with this in a second. Oh God, it just stopped recording. All right, it says. I don't know. I don't know. Hold on one second. I'm gonna stop and then start again and see if that makes a difference because I don't want to lose anything.