Unfiltered Friends

The TRUTH about Introverts w/ TheVibewithKy

• Chris Thompson • Episode 21

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[supdaily]:

Okay, we are recording perfect. Hello, unfiltered friends. Today we're going to explore the world of the introvert. This is going to be the first time where I'm actually pretty versed on the world of the introvert as I am one, so it will be a really good back and forth with my friend Kay here, who makes a lot of introvert content. Various other things, the vibe with Kay is, Am correct on

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

That

[supdaily]:

all

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

is

[supdaily]:

the

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

correct.

[supdaily]:

socials.

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

Yeah,

[supdaily]:

Okay,

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

man,

[supdaily]:

so Kay, you are an introvert.

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

Yes,

[supdaily]:

How does that feel?

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

You know what. I didn't know how to feel about it until fairly recently, when I realized that it's something to be proud of. In a way

[supdaily]:

Yeah,

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

you know. it's like. I would have never guessed that introversion would be like a whole, like community of people that are like, Yeah, stay away from me.

[supdaily]:

Maybe that's one of the reasons

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

Oh

[supdaily]:

that we don't hear about that community and why people like Ou and me do so well because we are introverted, but we do like to deliver messages

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

Yes,

[supdaily]:

and so like, we have essentially both become voices of the introverts, who just want to mind their own musiness, so they have a feeling When people watch content you make or I make about introversion. They scroll through, They go and they share, and then they move on with their lives, because that's the amount of interaction they're down for

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

Yes,

[supdaily]:

at that point in time,

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

yes,

[supdaily]:

But I also feel like there's a lot of misconceptions about that world, which is something I definitely want to dive into, but I want to get. I want to get to the source of you, and in your your realization of your introversion, I'm wondering if you were like me Were when I was younger, I was heavily involved with musical theater and a lot of front facing attention seeking behaviors and I always identified as an X Revert and it, Major Ly, shifted it at some point in my life, And I'm wondering if you had the same experience

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

One hundred percent so growing up, I also was in the world of musical theater. Go us. We're so cool.

[supdaily]:

So cool we were

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

and

[supdaily]:

the

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

then

[supdaily]:

token straits at the

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

you know, like legitimately like I was one of. like, Like two straight guys. It was great, at times

[supdaily]:

Sometimes,

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

say that, but but on that end I was also, I was also an athlete. So I was on the varsity basketball team like I was doing all of this stuff, you know, And even though it's not you know, theatrical performing are still like Per Orming, You know with your team and playing with the attention on you, so I

[supdaily]:

Hm.

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

too was like, Oh, I'm clearly an extra vert clearly because I'm just in front of people all the time. I was student government president, so I had to do like you know, in my senior year, so I had to do all this like you know, front facing stuff. Um, and at some point and I don't know when it was, but I realized that I was an extravert. I guess it seems that seems like I was when I was in front of people, but when the lights Dimmed down and it was just me by myself at the end of the day, I didn't want to be bothered And it wasn't because

[supdaily]:

M.

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

it wasn't because I hated people Is just like I just wanted my time alone, and it took me a long time to realize that's like. Oh, wait a second. I think I think I'm starting to understand what what introversion actually is.

[supdaily]:

So what age was that where you started to have that shift in mind set?

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

I was in college. I was in college, and I realize this because my friends would invite me out to parties on the campus and I would be like. I'm just gonna. I'm jus gonagnna. I'm gonna at home today, guys, you know, and like people like you like all this stuff and I'm like I'm just you know. I just I don't know how to describe it at the time, but Ike, If we were to use the terms that we use today, I was peopled out. you know, I would

[supdaily]:

M.

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

just around people all day in classes and all of that, and I just wanted to just be by myself

[supdaily]:

Yeah,

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

And my friends used to make fun of me for that And and I didn't fully understand why, but now as an adult I understand why.

[supdaily]:

So what is introversion? By your definition?

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

Introversion. The simplest way to describe that I describe it is the is how you recharge your battery right, So

[supdaily]:

M.

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

some people want to recha, or some people to recharge their battery alone. Those are introverts. right. So you're around people all day. You don't mind technically being around people like people are fine, But your battery trains a little bit faster than most, Right and then

[supdaily]:

Hm,

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

you have extroverts who prefer to recharge their battery with people around so they don't want to be alone. Like when when they're alone, That's when their battery is training. So Want to go out and be around people and do all that type of stuff. So that's the easiest way I can describe it. It's a, obviously, a lot more intricate than that for a lot of people.

[supdaily]:

Yeah,

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

But, but generally speaking, that's how I describe it for me. At least

[supdaily]:

Did you ever take that my Briggs test?

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

I did. I

[supdaily]:

Do

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

kind

[supdaily]:

you remember

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

of take

[supdaily]:

what?

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

those with a grand assault, though, but

[supdaily]:

Oh, yeah,

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

I'm an I N f. j.

[supdaily]:

I think I am I and F. J, too, So

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

Hm,

[supdaily]:

I actually find that the I is less of an issue as a man than the N. and the f. Um.

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

Hm.

[supdaily]:

it's like when you're intuitive and feeling and a man, people are like

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

What's what's Something's going on

[supdaily]:

something.

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

there? What's what's that?

[supdaily]:

Yeah,

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

What's

[supdaily]:

I didn't.

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

going on?

[supdaily]:

I didn't really start to grasp or understand that I wasn't extraverted until three years ago and I'm forty. one. Yeah,

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

Hm,

[supdaily]:

Always like, wanted the attention and musical theater and stuff was how I got it and I loved being around people and I loved going to like dances. And when I was in my twenties I was like go into like club. I got kicked out of a club for taking

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

Yes,

[supdaily]:

my shirt off on the dance floor. Like does

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

as

[supdaily]:

that?

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

one does,

[supdaily]:

Well, Yeah, but like does that seem like the person you know today? Absolutely not. There was like a major shift in me and I don't know How that I feel like people naturally get more introverted as they get older. Have you

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

I

[supdaily]:

found

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

think

[supdaily]:

that

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

that's

[supdaily]:

to

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

fair.

[supdaily]:

be true for you?

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

I think Yeah, I think that's fair because our, our circle of friends tends to dwindle down as well, so it's not like we have like a wealth of options. you know,

[supdaily]:

Yeah,

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

to hang out. you know, hang out with a lot of times. We're tired at the end of a long work day, so we just want to like you know, Just want to go home and chill anyway, But I found it very interesting what you were saying in regard to like how you wanted the attention and everything that you listed. Uh, had a purpose to it. like you had a reason for doing it right. So like You want, you did theater Because you, your reason was performing. You went to the club because your reason was to dance and to sing, And I have good time like there was. There was a reason. I think where introvert struggle is when there isn't like a reason, right, like

[supdaily]:

Yeah,

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

like, if somebody comes up to you and just start small talking, y're like Hey, what's up? it's like,

[supdaily]:

Whoa,

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

Why am I talking to you? Why? why am I talking to you right now? What is the point? Why are we having this conversation And that's and I think that's what I'm starting to grasp as well like we when we do something that has to be Reason behind it,

[supdaily]:

Yeah.

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

you know,

[supdaily]:

I never really thought of it that way.

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

Huh?

[supdaily]:

Yeah, like, even when it comes to like, like, like going out to a bar and like you see a girl who's like cute or whatever. Unless something happens where it's a collective experience for both of us to react to. I am not talking to that girl. I will have to create whatever scenario in my brain to convince myself of why it wouldn't have happened in the first place,

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

Yeah,

[supdaily]:

Because just I don't know. I think it's really Odd just walking up to a stranger and talking for no reason.

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

Yes, especially well, there is a reason, but you can't be clear about the reason right off the bat, you have to

[supdaily]:

Yeah,

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

kind of like feel it out, you know, And and it's also like, it's also why I don't do well at grocery stores, like at the check out counter, Because like they're talking to me, but I know they're talking Me only because they have to. They probably don't want to, so I'm like, let me save you the trouble and just go to self check out, because

[supdaily]:

Yes,

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

when you ask me how my day is going, you're asking me how my day is going. Like, Do you really care or like you're not even looking at me? You're swiping my St. As you're like he hotyou'reding. Go and boo Boo is like you don't care. You don't

[supdaily]:

But

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

care

[supdaily]:

but

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

so

[supdaily]:

you don't know that they don't care. Maybe they do.

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

Well. I think well, that's when that's when the fun old anxiety comes in to play.

[supdaily]:

O. We love that. that's so much fun.

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

Yes,

[supdaily]:

Yeah, when

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

self,

[supdaily]:

they

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

check

[supdaily]:

went,

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

out is the best is the

[supdaily]:

Oh,

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

best invention

[supdaily]:

self

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

of

[supdaily]:

check

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

all time.

[supdaily]:

those Amazon stores and started to come out where you don't have to even do that part. It just scans as you go.

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

It just

[supdaily]:

What

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

scans as you walk out. It's just like cool. Have a good day. It's like I don't have to talk to anybody. I don't have to even like non, verbally interact with anybody.

[supdaily]:

I feel like the pandemic especially shifted things in the favor

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

Yes,

[supdaily]:

of introverts. Can

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

hm,

[supdaily]:

you give some examples from your experience? S on how that shifted for you?

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

Yeah, I mean, it was a great excuse

[supdaily]:

Yeah,

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

to not go out. Were like

[supdaily]:

Sorry, there's a pandemic I don't

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

there's

[supdaily]:

know

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

a.

[supdaily]:

at to.

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

there's people dying. I'm not. I'm not going go. I'm not gonna go to the bar. You know,

[supdaily]:

Yeah,

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

because my, my, I'm go to now is with these gas prices like it doesn't matter what. the question is, like

[supdaily]:

You

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

I be lie

[supdaily]:

come

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

ey.

[supdaily]:

up with

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

can

[supdaily]:

something.

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

you guy? Can you go to the kitchen and get something with these gas prices? You know, like I just use that for everything, But but honestly it was one of those things where we were obviously forced to be alone. We were. We were forced to stay away from people, and I think sometimes people were afraid to be alone, and as the pandemic you know, kind of raged on a lot of people realize. Oh, it's not. It's not that bad. Okay, I can

[supdaily]:

Yeah,

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

do what I want when I want, and so for me personally like, even though I did already like being alone. This kind of like reaffirmed it. I was like this is a good feeling. I can you know, just sit here in my work day at my desk and then just like not talk to anybody and I feel good. I feel refreshed. The as I answered the next day,

[supdaily]:

Yeah, some of the people who are watching this live are brought up the fact that there are different types of introverts

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

There are yes.

[supdaily]:

and I had never really thought of it that way. So

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

Hm,

[supdaily]:

tell me which one you think applies most to you. I have a guest.

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

So I actually, I blocked about this

[supdaily]:

Oh, did you

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

not too long ago and I blocked out because I found there's four types of of of introverts,

[supdaily]:

Okay?

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

and mine is revolves around the anxiety side of things

[supdaily]:

Yeah, I was

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

right.

[supdaily]:

going

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

Because

[supdaily]:

to guess your anxious introvert,

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

Yeah, absolutely you know, So I was very much in my head about that, So the list that I have is social introvert thinking introverts, anxious introverts and restrained introvert intro.

[supdaily]:

Okay,

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

So I put myself under the anxious introvert, which anxious introverts are people who quite often feel self conscious when they are in social situations. They just don't have the confidence to be a good socializer, while amongst groups

[supdaily]:

M,

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

of people, they also often think about this when they're alone To the pure thought of being amongst a group of people makes their anxiety skyrocket.

[supdaily]:

And

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

That's

[supdaily]:

I feel

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

me.

[supdaily]:

and I feel like that is the most common way that people view all introverts is that way and it's just not really. I don't. I sometimes identify with that, but not not all the time.

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

Well, it's the very great area, and like one of the I guess biggest misconception, because we were kind of talking, We were kind of alluding to this before. a lot of people think that introversion means shy, and that's not necessarily the case, because I can smooth like no other like you. Put me

[supdaily]:

Hm.

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

in a room if I have to smooth if I have to do whatever. If I have to talk on alive if I have to you know, do it do anything like that? I'm I'll be fine,

[supdaily]:

Yeah,

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

you know, I'm not. I'm not shy. I made out wanting to do it, but I'm not. I'm not

[supdaily]:

M.

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

shy. And so people, when I tell people I'm an introvert, the first thing they'll say is no, you're too outgoing to be an introvert and I'm like I don't think you understand what what introversion

[supdaily]:

Yeah,

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

is?

[supdaily]:

yeah, I think it's like people look at it as I dislike people

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

Hm,

[supdaily]:

for me. I'm just really particular about who I associate with because

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

Yes,

[supdaily]:

I think beyond introversion. I have a lot of empathy and that causes the wrong

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

M,

[supdaily]:

people around me to drain me in a very quick way, so I have to

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

Hm,

[supdaily]:

be careful with who I share that energy with because I have limited stores, but before I have, I'm like a cell phone.

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

Yeah,

[supdaily]:

You know, I start full and Betting on what I do out to day at drains at different times at different

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

Hm.

[supdaily]:

paces, And then I got to go charge or I am not going to be functional any

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

Absolutely

[supdaily]:

more. I've never thought of it that way. That's

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

so

[supdaily]:

yeah,

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

so here's my question for you, because like you and I, we talked on the phone was yesterday

[supdaily]:

M

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

or the day before. I don't. I don't remember

[supdaily]:

yesterday.

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

you and I were talking on the phone, and one of the last things that you were saying,

[supdaily]:

Yeah,

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

you're like, Oh, my battery trained

[supdaily]:

I gave

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

like

[supdaily]:

you what

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

I

[supdaily]:

I

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

used

[supdaily]:

have

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

the

[supdaily]:

left.

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

I. I used the last bit of my battery on you. I was like, Oh, thank you as the much, the the sweetest thing ever.

[supdaily]:

Yeah,

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

but I'm curious. so like even when you're talking to somebody that you know or that's your friends with, does your battery train slower or does it train a little bit faster?

[supdaily]:

Yeah, there are certain people that fill my cup and there are certain

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

Hm,

[supdaily]:

people that I can have great conversations with for periods of time, And there's certain people where it drains faster and there's certain

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

Hm,

[supdaily]:

people I have to avoid like the plague or

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

Oh,

[supdaily]:

I'm

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

yeah,

[supdaily]:

going to be zonked for the rest of

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

yeah,

[supdaily]:

the day.

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

yes,

[supdaily]:

It's It's just this precious commodity of energy and I have to be very careful with where I go with it

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

Yeah,

[supdaily]:

And that's that Me.

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

yes, and as we get older, we become pretty good at it, conserving and and picking and choosing how we're going to use that energy, because I think when we're younger, sometimes we're afraid that we're Am I aloud to curse or No,

[supdaily]:

Go for it.

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

Like, sometimes we don't want to come off as a dick right,

[supdaily]:

Yeah,

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

So like we, we,

[supdaily]:

I love

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

We

[supdaily]:

that

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

just

[supdaily]:

the word you used was dick. I was. You're so olesome

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

I know, I know

[supdaily]:

Can I use a bad word? damn? damn it.

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

By golly G.

[supdaily]:

It's hilarious.

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

but like we don't want to come on or we don't want to crow across as a dick, right, so like

[supdaily]:

Yeah,

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

we, we will. we will force ourselves to talk to people you know, because we don't want them to hate us, so you know, take us the wrong way, but as we get older, we're kind of like. I don't care how you

[supdaily]:

Yeah,

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

view me. Really don't

[supdaily]:

I

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

care?

[supdaily]:

think you just start to really understand the direction that things are about to go,

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

Yes,

[supdaily]:

and you're like, and I think that's true, regardless of whether you're an introvert or an extra vert,

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

Yes,

[supdaily]:

or in between, because it's it's It's a spectrum of things like

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

Hm,

[supdaily]:

I'm sixty forty, introvert, extra vert, So like it just depends on the scenario. but yeah, I think

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

Hm,

[supdaily]:

as I got, I got older and I've been through enough scenarios. I'm like, Yeah, I know where this one's going and

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

Yep,

[supdaily]:

I'm just going to go now and people Think

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

Hm.

[supdaily]:

you're so mean, but really, I think I'm just done playing the game of making sure everyone else feels comfortable.

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

Well, right, And and and you're you're removing yourself from that situation. They should be thankful. because

[supdaily]:

Yeah,

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

like, because, like if I'm purposely removing myself from a situation knowing where it's going, I'm not going to be able to number one contribute to whatever is happening. If it's a conversation I'm not going to be able to contribute. I'm clearly going N not going to be there. You know. it's just going to give off this bad energy that is not going to be conducive for the good energy that you're probably trying cultivate, So it's like I'm going to remove myself from the situation because I know how I'm about to feel.

[supdaily]:

Yeah,

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

I'll talk to you all tomorrow. you know,

[supdaily]:

okay, so let's let's describe that cause I feel like an. You tell me if you've had this experience I know I have where people don't understand the social ques. Hey, I don't have

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

M,

[supdaily]:

it. I need this time to separate, so describe what what the feeling is in the thoughts are as you get to the end of your battery and how people can see it and understand it

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

The one thing that I'm really struggling with is that that feeling hits really fast

[supdaily]:

Fast.

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

because I

[supdaily]:

Yes,

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

think I'll be okay, Because like, I'll think I'll be okay And then all of a sudden boom, done done,

[supdaily]:

Hm,

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

And it's a. It's a major major shift and that's one of the things that I've been working on. You know, just in gene, just identifying the things that are like slowly draining thing, my battery away. Because like, at times like I might be fine and then all of a sudden I'll just think about something and I'm jus Like I need to go. I'm gonna. I'm gonna. I'm going to leave. I need

[supdaily]:

So it's

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

to leave.

[supdaily]:

a thought that can drain you Then

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

Oh,

[supdaily]:

too.

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

absolutely, and it could be. It could be something not even related to what we're talking about. I might just all of a sudden. think about, you know my chores for tomorrow, right, whatever it may be, and then

[supdaily]:

M.

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

al of a sudden and like that, also that kind of stuff also takes away from my battery. right

[supdaily]:

Okay,

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

so so it just happens all of a sudden. So that's one of the things that I'm working on like the signs and the little triggers. that kind of pull pull me back even More and more and more.

[supdaily]:

Okay, so describe it, Can you? So for people who aren't introverted don't understand it, What

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

Hm.

[supdaily]:

what goes on in your body? What goes on in your mind? And how can they? How can they help you?

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

Yeah,

[supdaily]:

How can they be there for you when they don't understand what you're going through?

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

Right, that's a great question. so the best way I can describe it is, let's just say you, you're at work and you mess up on something, but nobody else knows that you messed up yet. But you know and you know they're eventually going to find out that feeling that you have, knowing that pretty soon people are going to know that little gut feeling is how I feel

[supdaily]:

M.

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

when when it's

[supdaily]:

Hm,

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

time for me to go right, I am like I need. I know I need to go. I need to figure out a way to remove myself from the situation. They're going to find out eventually that I don't want to be here.

[supdaily]:

Yeah,

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

you know, So like that feeling that you might get certain situations like that. That's how I feel when it's time for me to bounce.

[supdaily]:

So it's almost like A. is it guilt?

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

Oh, yeah, I think that's definitely part of it is definitely part

[supdaily]:

Uh,

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

of cause. like sometimes I like I'll begin a conversation. I'll start a conversation. I'll be actively participating in a conversation, and then all of a sudden I won't be right and I'll feel bad because it's like this. This conversation is happening. Because of me,

[supdaily]:

M,

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

You know,

[supdaily]:

Hm.

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

I'm a vital part of this conversation and I'm going to be removing myself and I don't know. I don't. I don't knowhtey're. goin to talk about when I leave. I'm sure they'll be fine, but like in my head, I'm What are they going to talk about if I'm not there? You

[supdaily]:

Oh

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

know.

[supdaily]:

man, yeah, that's the well we'll get into like the different types and break

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

Yeah,

[supdaily]:

them down. But like I don't actually identify with that at all.

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

Hm,

[supdaily]:

That's That's really the difference in the spectrum of

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

Yeah,

[supdaily]:

introversion. So for

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

hm,

[supdaily]:

you with with anxious being an anxious introvert, how does that physically manifest? what kind of reactions are you having to the conversation as well?

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

Sudden mood swaying man, like, like, I'll be very outgoing with my conversation and then I'll get quiet.

[supdaily]:

Yeah,

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

It will be like, very, very sudden,

[supdaily]:

A,

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

and it'll It'll be as if I got like hit by a truck, like an emotional

[supdaily]:

M,

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

truck,

[supdaily]:

hm,

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

right, And it'll I'll just stop being as active and I'll barely make eye contact. Ll be, I'll be. I'll begin to get very fidgety as well. I'll be stuttering my words. I'll lose my Part in the conversation. I'll lose what I'm talking about more easily. Things like

[supdaily]:

Hm,

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

that will usually happen to me.

[supdaily]:

And then what's the best way for someone to help you in that situation?

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

I think if they

[supdaily]:

Yeah,

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

recognize that like, I clearly don't want to be there anymore, but they don't want to make it awkward. you know, Just be like well, guys that's great, so tall, and then move the conversation. either either dismiss the conversation or dismiss the moment. whatever, making it easy for me to escape. Right

[supdaily]:

Yes,

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

or just be like, Hey, you know if they. if I'm close enough with them and they're able to you, now talk to me in this way. Be like Hey, are you feeling right? You want to go home? I'll be like. Yeah, thanks. you know.

[supdaily]:

Bro.

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

Uh,

[supdaily]:

let me tell you

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

uh,

[supdaily]:

I'm goin t tell you a scenario that happened recently and I instantly bonded with this person. From that moment

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

Uh,

[supdaily]:

on

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

huh,

[supdaily]:

I was at a podcaster conference in Orlando last month and I had met a bunch of people. Man, You want to go somewhere like where you can have. Like the most amazing deep conversations. Go to a podcaster conference There, The most wonderful

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

M.

[supdaily]:

humans. I've had two experiences and both were incredible.

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

Yeah,

[supdaily]:

So I'd met this girl earlier in the day, and then there was a kind of after party for one The night of the conference At. How with the moon, you know what? how the moon is?

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

We have one in Philly, yea,

[supdaily]:

Yeah, so kind of small, kind of packed.

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

Hm,

[supdaily]:

This is less introversion and more anxiety Because I used to work in night clubs

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

Right,

[supdaily]:

and when crowds wil get packed like that, that's when fights would happen. So I get in a fight or flight and I'm fight, so I don't like

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

Right,

[supdaily]:

that feeling, so

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

hm.

[supdaily]:

I walk in and it is wall to wall packed shoulder to shoulder people and and then I see her and I look at her and all I said was. Oh, I don't know. All I said and she looked at me. She was like, Do you want to go outside and talk and I was like Yes,

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

Tell me. tell me you put a ring on it at

[supdaily]:

Oh,

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

that

[supdaily]:

well,

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

very second,

[supdaily]:

she is not single, but

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

Uh

[supdaily]:

I did. I did

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

huh,

[supdaily]:

appreciate, and I just sat outside

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

Yeah,

[supdaily]:

one on one with her and people would cycle through, but I didn't have to be in that pile of people. And let me tell you

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

M.

[supdaily]:

you want to make an introverted person. Love. You recognize the sign, Have sympathy or empathy for it and helped them feel like it's okay to leave

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

Yes,

[supdaily]:

and that you will have that loyalty will be forever Forever

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

Hm,

[supdaily]:

Because it's because I don't think Socially week cater towards that towards introvert. It's a very extraverted society

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

Yes,

[supdaily]:

and your look at is like lame, or you know, stick in the mud

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

Boring.

[supdaily]:

or whatever,

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

just like yeah.

[supdaily]:

but in reality like I literally, my whole body aches. I have like pit of

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

M.

[supdaily]:

my stomach feeling and I'm not trying to ruin anybody else's time, but I also have nothing left to give.

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

Yep,

[supdaily]:

So when you see that face O,

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

Uh

[supdaily]:

and you help me forget it, Ring on it, friend for

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

huh.

[supdaily]:

life, Ver the capacity for our relationship that is happening.

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

Now I'm curious. Now one cares how are you with like sounds Because for me like,

[supdaily]:

The people watching right now are people who have experienced me on live stream.

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

Uh

[supdaily]:

And

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

huh,

[supdaily]:

there is a. There is an alert. It's a. It's a jump scare alert and it's so many different things, But every single time, even if I know it's coming,

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

Yeah,

[supdaily]:

I go. You know like

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

uh,

[supdaily]:

so they're all cracking up right now because I I struggle with sudden noises.

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

Okay, Okay, so it's sudden noises for you. For me, it's just loud noises in general that

[supdaily]:

Okay,

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

that that are not supposed to be loud. Situations that really

[supdaily]:

Chewing,

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

bothers me. Yes, like that kind of stuff. Also, even even if I'm in an environment where people are being allowed when they're not supposed to be loud,

[supdaily]:

Oh,

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

I will.

[supdaily]:

yeah,

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

I will, just like take myself out of whatever I was doing,

[supdaily]:

Oh,

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

because

[supdaily]:

yeah,

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

in my head I'm like, I don't want to add on to the to the loudness that's happening here. It happened recently for Christmas. My family from from all over. we all gathered at a hotel right, so that way we can all like, Um, you know, do Christmas together and the hotel lobby. The hotel let us have the lobby to open up presents and stuff right. It was because I like it was a lot of people there, so they let

[supdaily]:

Hm,

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

us use the hotel lobby to open up presents and so like it was fine, but as the night went on, and the night got late, my family, who had been drinking like they're still like fairly loud

[supdaily]:

Yeah,

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

and I just felt so uncomfortable and I Wanted to leave so much because I could see that the the person at the front desk wanted to say something and they didn't know how right.

[supdaily]:

Yeah,

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

And then I'm like I'm not going to talk to anybody because I don't want to contribute to the loudness that's in here and I just I just removed myself from everything and I literally just sat there like unable to do anything.

[supdaily]:

Yeah,

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

I was so uncomfortable and I wanted to leave.

[supdaily]:

I think for me if things are too loud, I just get irritated because it's disrespectful. That's what

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

Yes,

[supdaily]:

I feel. Yeah,

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

yes,

[supdaily]:

I feel like you're not respecting the fact that you're in a public

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

Yes,

[supdaily]:

space and you don't care about anyone but yourself And that sort of thing just

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

yes,

[supdaily]:

works. just irks

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

absolutely,

[supdaily]:

okay, so let's break down the different types of introvert and what they mean. Since you are versed in this will just go straight to you.

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

Yeah,

[supdaily]:

Instead of this article I pulled them,

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

yeah,

[supdaily]:

so break down The four main types of introversion.

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

Absolutely. so I'm really glad tha you're asking asking this, because I literally blocked about this, so if anybody's listening or watching that wants to you know, read more about this that the research that I did go to my website, The vie with Gay Dot Command, and in the search bar just type in introvert, and its gonna be the first thing that pops up

[supdaily]:

Okay,

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

so so I realize that there's four different types so we can go through each one

[supdaily]:

Yeah,

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

real quick. So we have social introverts, So social introverts would rather not put themselves in a social situation unless they absolutely have to. If we do, You'll find us most likely in smaller groups. It doesn't mean that there are shy per se is just a preference that they have. Those are social introverts.

[supdaily]:

I think that's me. I think that's what. I.

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

Also, there might be a lot of gray area too, It.

[supdaily]:

Yeah,

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

so it

[supdaily]:

yeah,

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

might be one of those things like you might identify with Like little things from each one. Right.

[supdaily]:

Yeah, okay,

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

So those are social introverts, Then you have thinking introverts. Thinking introverts are simply people who do a lot of self reflection. They process internally and they often find themselves traveling around their creativity space in their brain, so they Rather kind of like process, like inside here, than

[supdaily]:

Yeah,

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

process with like other people around. Re talking out with people. If that makes sense,

[supdaily]:

Yeah, you're right. I kind of identify with some of that as well. okay,

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

and then we have anxious introverse, which we were talking about before, Right and then we have the

[supdaily]:

Wait,

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

last

[supdaily]:

we'll

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

one

[supdaily]:

explain

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

is.

[supdaily]:

it for people who. maybe

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

Oh yeah,

[supdaily]:

this is a clip. I don't know.

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

Oh, sure. that's fine. So anxious introvert are people who quite often feel self conscious when they are in social situations. They just don't have the confidence to be a good socializerwl Amongst groups of people. They also often think about this when they are alone To the pure thought of being amongst a group of people. make their anxiety skyrocket so like

[supdaily]:

M.

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

like we could, We could be having this conversation. A somebody might be listening right now if they're an anxious introvert, Just the thought of putting themselves in that situation that you were in at hall at the moon in the first

[supdaily]:

Oh,

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

place,

[supdaily]:

yeah,

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

God makes them cringe right.

[supdaily]:

yeah, yeah,

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

Right and then you have restrained introverts. So restrained introverts are quite simply people who think everything through before They take action or say anything out loud. Everything is thought out and planned before the action takes place.

[supdaily]:

Oh, I know anicaislike, my friend onicais like that. That's

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

Hm.

[supdaily]:

yeah,

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

Hm,

[supdaily]:

you. what? when I, when I speak to her I watch her brain

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

Yeah,

[supdaily]:

like she takes. Sometimes. I don't know if there's a lull in the conversation or she's processing, and ninety five percent of the time she is really. she'll take ten fifteen seconds to respond and she's

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

Hm,

[supdaily]:

just really thinking through what she is doing.

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

Absolutely look, Luckily, I don't. I don't struggle with that right. I'm able to like, and I think it's because of my theater background and like the improve classes that I, you know, used to take in high school and in college, and things like that where I'm able to think on my feet pretty quickly, so I don't necessarily have to think things all the way through. Like during a conversation, I do like having things planned out, but like if it goes awry it's not the end of the world

[supdaily]:

Yeah,

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

right. As long as I have like an escape plan. Fine.

[supdaily]:

I'm trying, Yeah, I'm thinking that maybe social introvert is the most common.

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

Yeah, I would. I would. I would believe so as well, you

[supdaily]:

Yeah,

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

know, you know, because I and I love the last sentence. It says. It doesn't mean that they. Re. they are shy. Per say, it's just a preference that they have you know, so I can definitely identify with that and just being among smaller, being among smaller groups. if I am familiar with the people in that group. If it's like a group project, it's like

[supdaily]:

Yeah,

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

a bunch of people that I don't know. I'm like Kay.

[supdaily]:

Yeah, I think do you. I mean, Do you feel like you're majorly affected by the energy of everyone around you?

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

That's a great question. I truly do believe that moods and energies are are contagious. However, I feel as though if somebody else is in a negative Nancy mood

[supdaily]:

Yeah,

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

that doesn't affect me as much as as it might affect other people right. Because as a people pleaser, the first thing that I'm

[supdaily]:

Floor,

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

thinking of is okay. How can I help this situation? How can I? How can I make negative? It's the positive Patty, You know like

[supdaily]:

You

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

that's

[supdaily]:

got to

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

that's

[supdaily]:

stop

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

in

[supdaily]:

that

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

my head.

[supdaily]:

you have

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

I know.

[supdaily]:

to stop

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

Oh,

[supdaily]:

that. I had

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

I

[supdaily]:

to

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

know,

[supdaily]:

stop that.

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

and I've gotten a lot better at it, dude, but like man, like it, used to be a lot a lot worse

[supdaily]:

Yeah,

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

back in the day now I kind of just like I'll bite my tongue, kind of hold back a bunch of things. but man, like the first, the first thought that comes into my head is like Okay, How can I fix this situation? How can I make this person happy?

[supdaily]:

That sounds like control. Maybe that's connected to your anxiousness.

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

Oh, most likely one hundred

[supdaily]:

Yeah,

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

percent.

[supdaily]:

yeah, I had to stop doing that. That's literally in my nature to do every time and I had to come to. I had to come to the realization that like one, this person probably doesn't feel like they need to be fixed or they

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

Yes,

[supdaily]:

enjoy themselves exactly how they are. And who am I?

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

Hm,

[supdaily]:

who am I to do that? you know.

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

Yeah, and I put myself in their situation Like would? I want somebody to try to fix me? Probably

[supdaily]:

No,

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

not,

[supdaily]:

I

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

probably

[supdaily]:

feel like most

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

not.

[supdaily]:

people are resistant to that. You

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

hm.

[supdaily]:

know. That's also where I learned the phrase. This is especially in most of most of my strong relationships are with women and my

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

Hm,

[supdaily]:

nature as a man is solution based.

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

M,

[supdaily]:

so I had to

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

hm,

[supdaily]:

learn the phrase, Do you want solutions or do you want to vent? So I had to clear, because my, I would initially just start. because to me it's like Oh, here's a problem. Now we solve it

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

M,

[supdaily]:

and then

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

Hm,

[supdaily]:

I would watch My friend. Usually a

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

Oh

[supdaily]:

female friend

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

boy,

[supdaily]:

gets so irritated and I was like,

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

Oh

[supdaily]:

but I'm trying to help,

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

yes,

[supdaily]:

But

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

yes,

[supdaily]:

that is not the way that a lot of women operate typically. so that's why I asked the question and fell as Learn this phrase. Do

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

Yes,

[supdaily]:

you want a vent, or do you want solutions?

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

absolutely

[supdaily]:

And that will save you so many arguments and

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

that.

[supdaily]:

so much frustration.

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

that honestly is one of the things that played a major factor. My, my most recent relationship is that I wanted to fix certain situations right.

[supdaily]:

Hm.

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

So like when there was a situation where you know she would be upset about something. I think that I would often come across as not pathetic because I was just trying to be like Okay, So this is what we can do and then she would be like, No, no, no, no, I just need you to listen to me right now and

[supdaily]:

Yeah,

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

just like be a shoulder, be near. And and I realize that I've been doing that my whole life, and it wasn't

[supdaily]:

M.

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

until I started doing self reflection. You know after my break up that I was like Okay, I think, think I started to understand what's what's going on here and how I can navigate situations like that.

[supdaily]:

So how has interversion affected your romantic relationships? Like

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

Yeah,

[supdaily]:

what ways does it show up in your romantic connections

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

So it's actually a big struggle right, because I need space right

[supdaily]:

And sometimes it's taken rejection, isn't it?

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

One hundred percent.

[supdaily]:

Yep?

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

So so and once again I'm going to use my most recent relationship as an example. You know, because

[supdaily]:

Hm,

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

it's just it's just fresh in my brain right.

[supdaily]:

Yeah,

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

But when you're with somebody that that wants that constant physical contact

[supdaily]:

Yeah,

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

which there's no problem. But like people are like that, that's fine.

[supdaily]:

Yes,

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

It's perfectly fine, but for me I need that that space right. So like if you and I are in the same room and I'm sitting on my one end of the couch reading a book, And you're sittin on the other end of the couch on your laptop doing something your presence in and of itself is enough for me.

[supdaily]:

I love. I love alone together.

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

Yes,

[supdaily]:

I love

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

one

[supdaily]:

it.

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

hundred percent,

[supdaily]:

yeah.

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

and like I'll come over. I'll give you a kiss on the forehead and be like. Hey, hope you're having a good day. Whatever may be like, You know, Hey, what do you want for dinner?

[supdaily]:

M.

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

You know, Like stuff like that,

[supdaily]:

hm.

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

you don't have to always just be like. physically connected are physically talking to each other, And there was a lot of times in my previous relationship where that was an issue where I legitimately just wanted to be alone, And it's my fault for not communicating it

[supdaily]:

Yes,

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

right. I did not communicate well at all. In that

[supdaily]:

Right,

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

regard, I just needed You know, be alone and to your point before it was kind of taken taken off as a rejection. or I don't care for you like it came off like I don't care for this person anymore.

[supdaily]:

Yeah,

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

When really I do. I did care right. I just needed. I just needed a little bit of space, you know, because that's how I refill my battery in

[supdaily]:

Yeah,

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

romantic relationships and in general,

[supdaily]:

yeah, I would find that too, and I was like, like, And if I am in my likerecharge time and I'm around you and I feel connected to you, I would find that if you would enter. Like, what are you doing? That

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

Hm,

[supdaily]:

would irk me to like a pretty high degree. But you're

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

Hm,

[supdaily]:

right like it really is on on people like you and I to communicate that because it's not typical to the way that people view how

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

Correct,

[supdaily]:

humans Connect like

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

hm,

[supdaily]:

I like, my best friend just came to visit me and I realized that we had been sitting next to each other, going through Tiktok for an hour, and I didn't even realize that, but I still had that full feeling like

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

Mhm,

[supdaily]:

I am connecting with them. So it's really about

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

Hm,

[supdaily]:

like being honest with yourself about. can we meet each other's need

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

Yes,

[supdaily]:

Because if your need is physical contact constantly constantly talking. I just don't have it like you would. I would be giving up a lot of what I need To

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

Yes,

[supdaily]:

meet what you need, and then if it was reversed where you were trying to cater to me, you would be for going a lot of what

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

Uh,

[supdaily]:

you need for what I need. So

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

absolutely,

[supdaily]:

be honest with yourself about. can

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

yes,

[supdaily]:

I be with someone who, and also to not personalized,

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

Yes,

[supdaily]:

and I have a habit of personalization and making things about me when it's not. and thank you therapy. We've worked on that quite a bit, but like if you're with someone who is major ly, introverted, Um, or is in their recharge phase, it really is not a rejection of you. I promise you,

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

It's really not.

[supdaily]:

because

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

It's

[supdaily]:

frankly,

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

really not

[supdaily]:

if I didn't want you in my life, you wouldn't be there. I would be

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

You.

[supdaily]:

by

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

wouldn't

[supdaily]:

myself.

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

I swear, I swear to God, if I did not want to be in this relationship, I would not be here because I'm busy right and there's

[supdaily]:

Yeah,

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

a lot of things going on going on in my life. I want you hear. your presence means the world to me

[supdaily]:

M,

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

right,

[supdaily]:

hm,

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

but I just I did a really horrible job at communicating that because

[supdaily]:

Yeah,

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

I was just expecting them to know when that's not fair to that person

[supdaily]:

Yeah,

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

and I found that like the reason that she needed that. It was a very. It was a reassurance thing, you know. And then you know, when somebody has gone through a lot of trauma in their life, they often need like a constant reassurance. You know, because they're kind of like real living, a lot of things from the past, which is understandable.

[supdaily]:

M.

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

Um,

[supdaily]:

hm.

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

The sucking part is that like I, too. have am thinking about previous dramatic. you know, instances for me where I just needed space, you know, and I did not get that space and I'm real living things in my head too. So it's it's like there's really really awkward moments with each other. When you need space, they need touch and it's just like we can't meet halfway. There's there's some sort of issue here.

[supdaily]:

Yeah, I thought maybe I was just like broken and wasn't going to be able

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

Yeah,

[supdaily]:

to like find someone. But I think, what do you think about the match up between an extrovert and an introvert? What is the ways that it could go right?

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

Well, I mean, this is going to sound so cliche. but like

[supdaily]:

Hm,

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

communication is key, right

[supdaily]:

yeah,

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

by communication, I mean in the moment right, So like if somebody comes up if somebody, whether it's a romantic partner or friend, family, whatever if they come up to you like Hey, let's go out tonight. You know you have to be okay with saying Hey, Listen, just, I'm going to stay in tonight. Maybe you know if you want O go, but you have to be okay with communicating in the moment. Or let's just say I am next to. We're watching T. V. And you know I just need a little bit of space. you know, being able to communicate like, Hey, I'm going to go sit over there for for a little bit, and just kind of be in my own little world and explain to them. Hey, I'm doing this because I just need this for me real quick. I need this for me. I love you.

[supdaily]:

Yeah,

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

I care for you. You know, I'm just going to love you from over here.

[supdaily]:

M.

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

You know

[supdaily]:

hm,

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

which, and I on't know if you've heard about this or not, but I think this is. I'm curious what your thoughts are.

[supdaily]:

Hm,

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

There are a lot of couples that live together but don't sleep together

[supdaily]:

Yes,

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

and like and I think that's I think that's brilliant right,

[supdaily]:

Yeah,

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

because like they, and by sleep together, I mean like literally sleep

[supdaily]:

In the same

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

right

[supdaily]:

bed, Yeah,

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

right, Like sleep in the same bed. Like they will retire to their own rooms at the end of the night. You know they're still sexually active. They're still

[supdaily]:

Yeah,

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

like loving each other all of that, But like when it comes time to actually go to sleep, one will retire to their room and have their space at night. And like Wheneve I bring that up, Some people are like, Oh, I don't know. and which is understandable, but like, I'm not against that at all.

[supdaily]:

No,

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

I think I think if it works for that relationship like it could work for me. Like, like being able to just like, be in my own space and do what I want when I go to sleep and like that's fine with me.

[supdaily]:

Yeah. that's so I'm single way more than I am in relationship because I

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

Ah,

[supdaily]:

take commitment really seriously. Like

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

yeah,

[supdaily]:

if I get to the point of saying like you're my person and nobody else,

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

Hm,

[supdaily]:

I take that seriously. So like

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

Yeah,

[supdaily]:

part of my brain is like that sleeping time together is a way of connecting.

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

Hm,

[supdaily]:

but but also like I know, I will struggle when I end up in a relationship again, sharing my bed with someone because I'm

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

Yeah,

[supdaily]:

so used to. not, so, I think it really to me would depend on how Well are we connecting outside of bedtime?

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

Yes,

[supdaily]:

Are we meeting each other's needs outside of bed?

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

Yes,

[supdaily]:

But I think this is true of any relationship. We all have

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

Hm,

[supdaily]:

individual needs. We all have things that work for us and don't, And it's not a matter of you aren't giving me what I need. Your bad person.

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

M.

[supdaily]:

It's we can't meet each other's needs were not a good match,

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

Yes,

[supdaily]:

and I think

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

yes,

[supdaily]:

the need to demonize has caused a lot of people to forego even having the conversation.

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

Absolutely

[supdaily]:

You know, unless they're doing something cruelty, It's just two people with different needs and you can't meet each other's needs

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

Right,

[supdaily]:

and that's

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

and

[supdaily]:

it.

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

I think that is it's I was. I was listening to a podcast you know fairly recently, and they were saying on the podcast how it's okay. sometimes just relationships just don't work. There's there's not like an evil intention behind it. There's not like you know, I'm going to make this person miserable. Like purposely Now, Just sometimes it just doesn't mess. Sometimes

[supdaily]:

Yeah,

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

it doesn't work. and you know I try not to take things personally. You

[supdaily]:

Yeah,

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

know, whenever something like that happens, Because like I know, I roll in in the downfall of anything that goes that goes on, but like on the other end it's like I know that like nothing is maliciously being done. You

[supdaily]:

Yeah,

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

know, do I make mistakes? Absolutely tons, tons of mistakes right, but on the other end, sometimes like those mistakes are just the result of just things not clicking, and that's okay to be able to just say to yourself and your partner in a comfortable way. things are not clicking. I do care for you. I care for your happiness. I care for my happiness,

[supdaily]:

M.

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

too, and right now I'm

[supdaily]:

hm.

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

just not happy and I think we need to have a further conversation and not having afraid to have that talk, you know, and and people are afraid to have that talk because it's it's hard.

[supdaily]:

If you're if you're like truly afraid, based on what you think your partners reaction will be, That's a really big sign that

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

Yes,

[supdaily]:

I, you know there's going to be uncomfortable conversations. I should never feel unsafe to

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

Hm,

[supdaily]:

express my needs, and my partner shouldn't feel unsafe either, So that's

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

Yes,

[supdaily]:

why it's important to keep those doors of communication open.

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

Hm,

[supdaily]:

and especially when you have a complicated dynamic. Say extravertan, I feel like if I end up with an extraverted person as long as they're understanding of my needs, it will probably bring me out of She a lot more too,

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

Right,

[supdaily]:

and that could be a great

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

oh

[supdaily]:

opportunity

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

yeah,

[supdaily]:

for me to expand my experiences,

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

Hm,

[supdaily]:

but they also have to understand that like I don't charge when I go out into the world, I lose battery

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

Yes,

[supdaily]:

power and when it's done, it's done and I got to go

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

Yes,

[supdaily]:

and I still love you.

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

yes,

[supdaily]:

Yeah,

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

M trying to find it in an extraverted en path.

[supdaily]:

Yeah,

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

That's what I want.

[supdaily]:

yes, that would be delightful. So you touched on like introvert and shyness. What

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

Hm,

[supdaily]:

is the difference between because people think that introverts are shy, I wouldn't

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

Hm,

[supdaily]:

say I'm shy. I wouldn't say that you're shy. We're both

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

Hm,

[supdaily]:

introverted people. What is

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

Hm,

[supdaily]:

the difference between introverted and shy?

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

Right, so shy it's it's not. It's not a part of introversion, R, Our extra version right. It's something that can happen right. but but shyness is just a mind like this mindset like it's like I don't feel comfortable speaking up. You know, I don't feel comfortable being in a certain situation right. It's just like I'm not going to do it, so I kind of close up a little bit right for for introversion. I think it goes a little bit deeper than that right, because when your Introvert doesn't necessarily mean that you feel uncomfortable in public settings all the time, you might just you just don't want to put yourself in that situation in the first place, or once you're once you're ready to leave that situation, you're just going to leave right. So it's for for shyness like you're going to become a totally different, a different animal like you're just going to close all the way down. Not nothing that intreverts don't do that, but like, but if you think that introversion is based solely on China, You're going to be very surprised that you find out

[supdaily]:

Yeah,

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

is an actual introvert. You know,

[supdaily]:

I have a big personality. Just I'm careful with who I share it around.

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

Absolutely

[supdaily]:

You know.

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

like I can't do small talk. I can't like people like. If anybody in here ever that's listening or watching. If you want to send me a d. M. that's perfectly fine. I try to respond to as many as I can, but your d. M can't just be like. Hey,

[supdaily]:

Oh,

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

I'm not going

[supdaily]:

what's

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

respond

[supdaily]:

up

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

right,

[supdaily]:

like?

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

you know,

[supdaily]:

I don't know

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

like

[supdaily]:

what.

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

I'm not going to respond Because I can't do that. I

[supdaily]:

It's

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

feel

[supdaily]:

the same thing

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

I feel

[supdaily]:

with

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

weird.

[supdaily]:

dating abs. I delated them because I have

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

Yeah,

[supdaily]:

more

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

no more.

[supdaily]:

hays in my, more hay in my message than could fill a horse barn like I

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

Yeah,

[supdaily]:

look. And it's and then I'm like Hey, I need some personality here. That's like Wet's so hard. I was like. Are you talking to a man about how hard being rejected

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

Uh,

[supdaily]:

on a dating app

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

uh,

[supdaily]:

is like? Let's like there's very few things that I can say. Men have

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

Hm.

[supdaily]:

the market corner on, and I would say rejection, Especially in

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

It's

[supdaily]:

the dating

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

It's

[supdaily]:

world. Is one of

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

definitely

[supdaily]:

them.

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

up there. understandably so because men can be weird sometimes, so

[supdaily]:

Is this? is this? You? Okay if I hold on, I'm telling the story. so

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

yeah,

[supdaily]:

this is me and tell me, if you identify with this, I go to a party right,

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

Hm.

[supdaily]:

which isn't a common occurrence, But I do like to go to party seven or once a while. I know a handful of people in the room. I find I find a person and I think they're really interesting, and two hours later I've only talked to that person in the corner of the room. Yeah,

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

I'm okay with that

[supdaily]:

yeah,

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

that. that's That's

[supdaily]:

that's that.

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

final

[supdaily]:

I'm

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

with

[supdaily]:

like.

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

me.

[supdaily]:

like, Am I lame? I was like. No,

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

No,

[supdaily]:

I just think this person is interesting and I don't want to have to go through the pain of restarting this process.

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

Absolutely, especially if you're if you're in the midst of a good conversation where you are either giving off knowledge that you know that they're interested in, or you're receiving insight or knowledge that you're interested in, and just having a good conversation with that person like that could be the whole. That is the party for me.

[supdaily]:

Yeah,

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

You

[supdaily]:

yeah,

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

know, that is the party for me. I think everybody goes about navigating a party differently. Some people want to go out and want to go and hang out with everybody. But like, let's go do shots. Everybody gather around. You know, Some people

[supdaily]:

M.

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

just want to like. I prefer going to like a lounge than a bar because

[supdaily]:

Yeah,

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

I can go sit and I can go sit on some comfy couch with a nice little glass table and my, my whiskey ginger, and just have like conversation, you know, with soft music playing in the background Like that's my vibe.

[supdaily]:

Yeah,

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

I might sit there for all night. Just get you know that's how I get drunk. you know.

[supdaily]:

Yeah,

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

I'm just sitting. I'm just sitting there all night, Just just vive, And it's not necesarily. Me moving around dancing and all of that. Now,

[supdaily]:

No, and I used to wear at night clubs. I don't know how I did that. I was

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

I don't

[supdaily]:

a bartender,

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

know how you did it either.

[supdaily]:

Bro, and I worked

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

I

[supdaily]:

at

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

don't know how you

[supdaily]:

a place

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

did that.

[supdaily]:

that was open till four a M. played house music.

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

No,

[supdaily]:

You can only drink till two. The two to four a M crowd was all pill poppers

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

Oh my

[supdaily]:

and

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

gosh.

[supdaily]:

crack heads and it

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

oh

[supdaily]:

was

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

my

[supdaily]:

just

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

gosh.

[supdaily]:

like it was like. really. Really. I don't know how I did it. Oh, I know how I did it. I needed money

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

Well, yeah,

[supdaily]:

and you can.

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

that's the. It's amazing when we, when, when we need money, what we'll do? One of my one of my jobs, I worked four years at Six Flags Great Adventure, And for those of you that don't know

[supdaily]:

With

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

Six

[supdaily]:

the

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

Flags

[supdaily]:

safari.

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

Great Adventure, Yes,

[supdaily]:

I used to live in Jersey. so

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

Wait, you want to know something funny?

[supdaily]:

yes,

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

Actually, really funny.

[supdaily]:

Yes,

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

Quick side bar, If anybody goes to the safari at Six Flags Reat Adventure, and you turn on the tour guide voice, it's me.

[supdaily]:

That's you.

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

Yeah,

[supdaily]:

Oh my God, I'm with a celebrity who I didn't know that

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

It took like eight hours to do a recording. Such for all those freaking animals, some of some of which I didn't even know existed,

[supdaily]:

Well.

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

Um

[supdaily]:

Now you're so versed.

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

right here right. But so so you know this already, So Six fine adventure is sitting like right, smack dab in the middle of Philadelphia and New York, and they all combined into one area. the go

[supdaily]:

Yeah,

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

ride roll of coasters and sitting lines for three hours in the hot sun

[supdaily]:

M,

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

Right, so it's not

[supdaily]:

hm,

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

really a conducive environment for happiness sometimes

[supdaily]:

No,

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

and that, I don't know how I did that because I was working in rides, So I had to interact with people all the time, And you want to talk about my battery being drained at the end of the day? Like doing

[supdaily]:

M,

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

like like, that kind of customer service type of thing was really difficult for me, but I didn't have trouble waiting tables. I don't know. It's really weird.

[supdaily]:

Thirteen years, I weighed tables

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

Yeah, I did

[supdaily]:

because

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

it for seven.

[supdaily]:

there was a purpose for me walking up to them and I made money.

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

Yes, exactly exactly and I also viewed it kind of like a performance in a way right, like I'm still me, but like I'm performing, You know, I'm well. I want to entertain. I want them to be satisfied with their meal. You know that I want them to leave being happy like that's my job. That's my responsibility.

[supdaily]:

Yeah,

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

So like I was able to easily, I guess distract myself from that. I loved waiting tables. I loved it.

[supdaily]:

Me too.

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

I didn't like the side work. I didn't like the sidework. That's the part that

[supdaily]:

I don't

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

I'm like

[supdaily]:

think anybody.

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

I'm good.

[supdaily]:

does people try to skip out on that all the time.

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

Yeah, yeah, but I love. I love waiting tables.

[supdaily]:

So okay, I have a handful of questions from

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

Uh,

[supdaily]:

my patron. Folks. You down to

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

yeah,

[supdaily]:

answer some of those.

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

yeah,

[supdaily]:

Yeah,

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

let's

[supdaily]:

you guys

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

do

[supdaily]:

ever.

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

it.

[supdaily]:

If you guys ever want to ask questions to your favorite guests on here Like I announced it beforehand. It's Patroon dot com slash unfiltered friends. That's how we support the podcast. The first question is from Onica

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

Hi

[supdaily]:

and

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

Onica.

[supdaily]:

she, she asked, What routine have you found That works well for you to recharge your social battery and also take care of yourself when you're dream From socializing,

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

That's great, so I think the answer for for this is for Everybody is gonna be little bit different, but I'll just ell you what I do at

[supdaily]:

Hm,

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

the end of the day. You want to do something that that makes you happe. When you re alone for some people, it might be reading a book for some people. it might be watching. T. for me, personally, I love sitting down on my computer and writing out content, or or you know, writing a blog like that, kind of any kind of creative

[supdaily]:

M.

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

aspect of that Like That's how I refill my glass, right or my battery. I want to be able to just do something creative on my own

[supdaily]:

Yeah,

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

without other people around. I'm just kind of like In my space. That's how I do it. It's just it's a really really fulfilling thing for me because I'm being productive by myself and I'm just getting my artistic field out there.

[supdaily]:

Yeah, for me, I mean, I do definitely do like the zoned out scrolling of like

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

Well,

[supdaily]:

Tiktok

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

yeah,

[supdaily]:

or Instagram or something like that, But what I found and this was actually like a post therapy thing as well was cleaning. I

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

Wait,

[supdaily]:

clean

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

I love cleaning.

[supdaily]:

organ. I was never like this is really excited.

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

I was so excited. I just bought this today. It. So this, This is what. I have wood floors. I was so I went to the C. V and I got this and I'm so I'm so excited to clean my floors tonight.

[supdaily]:

Method, wood floor cleaner

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

Yes,

[supdaily]:

does have. You're giving me ideas for. I also have wood floor. So what?

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

Yeah, I'm so excited You

[supdaily]:

Yeah,

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

have no idea.

[supdaily]:

because to me what I think it is is, I feel out of control, so

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

Yes,

[supdaily]:

that is a way to take control of my space, and so

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

M.

[supdaily]:

like I will spend. Sometimes I remember before I went home for Christmas, I went through my entire place and just took everything off the shelves and

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

Hm,

[supdaily]:

got en, purged myself of things that I didn't need, threw all that stuff out or donated it,

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

Uh,

[supdaily]:

and then

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

huh,

[supdaily]:

thoroughly clean so that I could come back to a Wonderful space, And I was

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

Yep,

[supdaily]:

never like that and I

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

hm.

[supdaily]:

love it it always. I always feel better and accomplished at the end of that.

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

Do you ever do you need to hit the reset button Sometimes like do you like? for example, like I the other day took out a bunch of clothes that I, I feel like. Im like I wear these all the time. I need new clothes, so I just put them in bags and I donated them. Do you find? just do you find yourself hitting the reset button on things a lot or no,

[supdaily]:

Not with clothes. I hold on the clothes

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

Hm,

[supdaily]:

forever because I hate clothe shopping. That's a whole other layer of body

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

Uh,

[supdaily]:

image issues and

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

uh,

[supdaily]:

M, but I think I think more so I just need to be separate. I need to take control of whatever space I'm in because

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

Yeah,

[supdaily]:

when my battery is done, I feel vulnerable. I feel

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

M.

[supdaily]:

like because I do really well with my words. I can talk myself out of any situation because I've

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

Same.

[supdaily]:

had to most of my life. but if I don't have, if I'm drained, I can't prot To myself

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

Yes,

[supdaily]:

from anybody.

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

that that is the key right there. I'm so happy you said that

[supdaily]:

Yeah,

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

because like at the when you're better, I trained, you stopped fighting. you stop fighting. You know how how how you're feeling, You know, like you often go through out your day, you know, telling, like convincing yourself. I need to talk to this person. I need to do this because you have to, right, and at the end of the day when you don't have to, and it all comes down to whether you want to

[supdaily]:

Yes,

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

right, like you tend to. not. So the word vulnerable, I think is brilliant, because like you are just stripped down, it is just you

[supdaily]:

Yeah,

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

and whatever comes through it's like man

[supdaily]:

Yeah,

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

like it's hard. man.

[supdaily]:

it's yeah. you. Your all your armor is gone and that's

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

Yes,

[supdaily]:

a very like scary feeling. Sometimes, Halle asked, Where have you found the greatest amount of of acceptance as an introvert? And can I come to?

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

Within myself. It's going to sound so weird saying that so like cliche, but like I've learned how to validate myself, I went so

[supdaily]:

M.

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

long even fairly recently, wanting the validation of other people and I felt like every action I took at any video that I put out there. Any thing that I wrote. I'm like I'm not going to be happy unless people like me. I'm not going O, be happy unless everybody is a fan. I'm going to be happy unless two million people follow me, An they're like good job and pat me on the back and all that stuff. And then I realized I was always feeling rejected. I was always feeling down. I was always feeling like a failure and I didn't know why. And then I realized and thank you therapy. I look up to God. thank you therapy. You know,

[supdaily]:

Your therapist is tall,

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

Yeah, very very tall, but like, but like I found that like I was setting this impossible expectation On on on myself when it comes to what success is right, And then I'm like, wait a second. Take a step back. Why do you need user? four, five, three, seven ones. validation. You don't. if you're making content that you like and you're happy with it, That's your validation in enough itself.

[supdaily]:

M.

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

So where

[supdaily]:

hm,

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

where do I find my? My, My acceptance right here, All

[supdaily]:

M.

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

all right here. Because

[supdaily]:

you've

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

that's all I need

[supdaily]:

You've

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

and it's

[supdaily]:

always

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

not

[supdaily]:

been

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

selfish.

[supdaily]:

enough. You've

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

Yeah,

[supdaily]:

always

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

it's not

[supdaily]:

been

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

selfish

[supdaily]:

enough.

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

to think that a lot of people are like. Maybe I'm being selfish. It's okay to. It's okay to believe that like you know, To think that way you know. it's okay

[supdaily]:

M.

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

to trust yourself

[supdaily]:

Hm.

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

enough that you can validate your own actions and your own thoughts.

[supdaily]:

Yeah, and the people who are speaking ill of you are just unhappy people because happy people don't do that.

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

Yeah, they just sometimes they just want something to talk about because it's entertaining.

[supdaily]:

Yeah to them. Enjoy

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

Yeah,

[supdaily]:

that. What a weird way to exist. Uh,

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

what a weird hill to die on.

[supdaily]:

you know, do you o care bear? Ask that you? Do you find that you're getting more introverted as you get older? And how do you navigate around that?

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

Yeah, I think and I was kind of alluding to this in the beginning, you know, as we get older, our circle of friends dwindled down. You know, we go throughout our day, you know, working hard jobs, and as we get older, obviously our energy, just physical energy gets depleted sometimes as well. so yeah, I do feel that I become more of an introvert, but it's mainly because like the options of possible things to do are starting to limit themselves a little bit right.

[supdaily]:

Yeah,

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

Not in a bad way, you know, like I can't just go out and do a cart wheel any more because I'm like, Don't have to stretch and like, like do

[supdaily]:

Right,

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

all this stuff you know. So like that's what I mean. It's like the options are starting to dwindle down a little bit. Um, and that's not a bad thing. but when the options dwindle down, you're left with a bunch of things that you just don't feel like doing. I don't want to do or don't situation don't want to find yourself in, you know, And and that's not a bad thing, so um, yeah,

[supdaily]:

I used to get a lot of pomo, like I was missing out on a

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

M,

[supdaily]:

lot of different things

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

hm,

[supdaily]:

and I had to learn my No. I had to learn my boundaries and I had to honor myself

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

Yep,

[supdaily]:

and that, And and I found there was a lot of anxiety over saying no, because I felt like I was disappointing other people

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

Yes,

[supdaily]:

while disappointing myself

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

Yes,

[supdaily]:

and hurting

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

absolutely

[supdaily]:

myself. Yeah,

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

I was. I was just at an event in Michigan. I was doing a speaking engagement, and after the speaking engagement there was like a big dinner and like award ceremony thing. And then they were having like this big after party

[supdaily]:

M,

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

and

[supdaily]:

hm,

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

I had been doing like the workshops in the speaking stuff, like throughout the entire day I was travelling all day as well, because I just only spent like twenty four hours in Michigan, and so by the, by the time the after party came around, I could have eat, He stayed, and just like hang hung out and parted and they wanted me to, and I legitimately stopped myself, and like I have to go, I have to leave, and for like two point five seconds I felt guilty.

[supdaily]:

Horrible,

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

I felt like man. They flew me all the way out here. You know, they want me to interact with the people here. I do want to interact. and but wait a second. Now I'm tired

[supdaily]:

Yeah,

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

and then and then it was fine. I was like it's okay. You know, Hey, got to spend all day with me.

[supdaily]:

And then and then, Like the like, the podcast conference I went to like, Yes, I could. I could network a little bit more, but I went to sleep and then the next day I was ready to show up on

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

Hm,

[supdaily]:

a level that.

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

yes,

[supdaily]:

so it's either like honor yourself for these moments and be great later. I think that's true in any situation, but I think you

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

Hm,

[supdaily]:

have to be particularly careful with it when you

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

Hm,

[supdaily]:

are an introvert,

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

right, you know your energy better than anybody else, so use that knowledge to your to your advantage.

[supdaily]:

Um. Gen Zo asked, Is it harder for an introvert to be in a relationship with an extra vert?

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

I think that if the extravert needs to do extravert things all the time, and doesn't ever want to do any sort of introvert introversion, or doesn't respect your introversion. Um, and by the way I'm saying this, this, this goes both ways too like. So

[supdaily]:

Yes,

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

like if it's an, If it's an extravert, like I would give this, I would give the same answer just in reverse. right,

[supdaily]:

Hm,

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

Um, so if you, if you're with somebody, that's just not you know, respectful of your needs and this is more focused on their needs. just in. Well, we wetheri's. two extraverts. two intraverts doesn't matter. Um, you know, then make things become difficult. But the minute that you continue to have these fluid conversations with each other, the better, the better it will be

[supdaily]:

Yeah,

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

right, and the easier it will be to make decisions. You might, you might realize that like, hey, you know I don't. I don't want to. I don't think that's going to work, or you might discover new things you were talking about this before you were saying. If I'm dating an extra vert, they might actually get me to come out and do

[supdaily]:

Yeah,

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

something that I wouldn't normally do. I'd be okay with it, you know, So it's kind of like this really cool discovery that you'll find when you're with somebody that is able to listen and be empathetic.

[supdaily]:

Yeah, again, I think, regardless of introvert, extravert, whatever, and bever,

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

Hm,

[supdaily]:

you need to be with someone who can communicate their needs and

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

Hm,

[supdaily]:

is willing to respect and meet your needs.

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

Yes,

[supdaily]:

That's

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

absolutely

[supdaily]:

balance in any sort of connection.

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

yes,

[supdaily]:

M. all Ight one more question from

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

Hm,

[supdaily]:

Well from the group. I have one more question After that,

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

Hm.

[supdaily]:

M. Allen says, How do we as introvintroverts communicate with extraverts, or just the world in general, to not overly push Us to interact.

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

By speaking in English to them

[supdaily]:

Oh,

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

like, like, So here's the thing. So here's th thing. It's not complicated and all, And I appreciate your question because you know I think we oftentimes over complicate communication when when really it's as simple as like, The same way that you just wrote. Your question is the same way that you can explain you. You can explain yourself to another person. Right,

[supdaily]:

Hm,

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

You just did it right. You

[supdaily]:

Yeah,

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

just explain like I need this or I want this and all of that. That's how you do it, and then from there you can have that conversation so you don't ever have to think about some like Okay, How am I going to you know? work this into the conversation. How am I now? just talk If if they speak the same language as you, go

[supdaily]:

Yeah,

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

right on ahead.

[supdaily]:

yeah, I think we over complicate communication quite

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

Hm.

[supdaily]:

often. It's just

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

Yes,

[supdaily]:

about. I think we over complicate because we don't want to find out that the person that we're talking to isn't for us.

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

We're protecting ourselves. We're protecting our feelings a lot of the times

[supdaily]:

Yeah,

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

we're afraid to face things that we may not be ready for emotionally.

[supdaily]:

I got to tell you, man, this whole conversation has made me feel seen in so many different

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

Oh

[supdaily]:

ways, and I have a feeling there's a lot of people. If you feel seen by this. Make sure you share it with someone.

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

Yeah,

[supdaily]:

Yeah, I think these are the. I feel like these are really important conversations to have that aren't had as often as would I think could help people.

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

Hm,

[supdaily]:

And so, speaking of help Pepe final question,

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

Yeah,

[supdaily]:

Um, I know I would have needed this. I had to kind of learn the hard way, but say someone is introverted and feeling very rejected by society And alone. What advice

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

Hm,

[supdaily]:

would you give to someone who has introverted but wants to have a happy life with people, but

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

Right,

[supdaily]:

is struggling to do that,

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

right at the end of the day, you're going to want to make sure that you are living in the moment. right. There's going to be times where you might want to go do something that you wouldn't normally do. Go do it. If you have that urge, go do it. One thing that I've learned is that I realize I'm Ali. Was always either were dwelling on the past or worried about the future, and I was never living in the present right,

[supdaily]:

M.

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

and as a result I was limiting myself because I'm like An introvert. I would never do that right. You end up paining yourself into this corner,

[supdaily]:

Yes,

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

And then there's times when you're when you're in the moment and you're like. Actually, I do want to go to that party. Go go to the party right, and then you, then you'll be able to bring yourself back out. You know when you're when you're uncomfortable, whatever it may be, but but live, live your live. your truth be, you know your energy levels and what triggers, and then remove your simove yourself from the situation when when it comes down to it, But like, just go do it.

[supdaily]:

M,

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

Go do it,

[supdaily]:

hm,

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

and also don't be afraid to not do it. Don't be afraid of what other people say or think about you wanting to pull back. That's that's There's nothing wrong with that.

[supdaily]:

Yeah, it's like a little emersion. sometimes where like you know, get outside of your comfort zone for as long as you're okay with. And

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

Hm.

[supdaily]:

and then when you're done leave, you know

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

Yes,

[supdaily]:

and do so graciously as you can. I've definitely done a few. like on Irish good byes or whatever. I'm

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

Yes,

[supdaily]:

just like. Poof, like I say hide, I say good bye to my emotional support extravert and I leave.

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

Yeah, yeah,

[supdaily]:

But but like you're never going to grow if you're always in that comfort zone and then

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

Hm,

[supdaily]:

I'll leave you guys with this one thing that someone said Me that really hit home and made me change the way that I viewed myself because I've labelled myself and introvert for such a long time and got a D. M from somebody. S like Hey, I can't wait for you instead of labeling yourself as an introvert just to understand that you're a complex person. like anybody

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

M,

[supdaily]:

else. That took so much

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

hm,

[supdaily]:

because I'm not stuck in a box anymore. Like

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

Right,

[supdaily]:

Yeah, have those elements. I have many other elements

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

Right,

[supdaily]:

and

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

absolutely

[supdaily]:

it's okay to be all of those things.

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

yes. Absolutely.

[supdaily]:

So if people want to reach out to you, how do they do that?

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

The best way is to visit my website. The vibe with Guy Dot Comment has all of the information in there. You know, if you want to follow me on certain social media platforms, If you want to follow me on Patron, If you want to listen to my podcast, whatever it may be, it's all there. All the information is there and don't be afraid to shoot me a message. I love hearing from people. Let me know what you think. Let me know if you have any further questions. I love having those conversations. Just don't say hey,

[supdaily]:

Just don't say. hey.

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

just don't say hey.

[supdaily]:

You understand how many hays you're about to get right

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

Oh, I know,

[supdaily]:

especially

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

I know.

[supdaily]:

for my people. They're goin to troll

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

I

[supdaily]:

you

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

know.

[supdaily]:

so hard.

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

I know it's okay, Your people. if you can say hey, but then put like a winky face next to it and then then I'll know.

[supdaily]:

Yeah, so if you d m, K, put hey winky face so that

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

Yes,

[supdaily]:

you? No, you're not one of those people. You're not a hey person. you're

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

yeah,

[supdaily]:

You're just messing with them. Well, thank you for being on unfiltered friends and I really enjoyed this conversation.

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

No, thank you, man, we've known each other for for quite quite quite some time,

[supdaily]:

Yeah,

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

and I appreciate the knowledge that you, you've given me just as a content creator and a friend.

[supdaily]:

Yeah,

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

Honestly, we go way back and I don't know where I'd be without you, my friend, so thank you,

[supdaily]:

Love that,

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

I mean, I

[supdaily]:

all

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

mean

[supdaily]:

right man. Well, we'll talk after this, I'm sure.

[the_vibe_with_ky]:

Yes.